The First Frost | Recap and Review

A cocky fool hiding his shambled heart and a guarded girl traumatized by the past finally free their repressed love.

Notable Actors/Actresses

Bai Jing Ting: Sang Yan

Zhang Ruo Nan: Wen Yi Fan

Director

Qu You Ning

Screenwriter

Zhu Yi (Author)

Chinese Title

難哄

Hard to Coax

Genres: Contemporary, Romance, School, Contemporary Romance

Network: Youku

Year: 2025
Episodes: 31/32

Recap Grade: C
First Impression: 3.7/5

Jump to Remarks | Recs | Comments

Recaps: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32]

Cast

Bai Jing Ting: Sang Yan	Zhang Ruo Nan: Wen Yi Fan
Chen Hao Sen: Su Hao An	Zhang Miao Yi: Zhong Si Qiao
Zhai Xiao Wen: Xiang Lang	Yuan Ye: Mu Cheng Yun
Wu Yu Heng: Duan Jia Xu	Liu Chu Tian: Sang Zhi
He Jiong: Zhang Wen Hong	Wei Zi Xin: Sang Yan's Dad

Mini Recaps

[Ep1] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Six years apart. Six years of unanswered questions, of love that never faded. And now, after everything, they meet again by the toilets. Sang Yan stands still, silent. But the past crashes back like waves in his heart....Wen Yi Fan is finally here. So real, so close.

And she calls him 頭牌! 頭牌 means top-ranked, but that's usually reserved for ranking performers, courtesans, etc. Well, he's also the 頭牌 of my heart harem xD

Quick, Sang Yan, use your beautiful brain in your beautiful head to memorize those numbers. Your life and my happiness is at stake. That's Wen Yi Fan's number, and she's back at the bar for her friend's bracelet. The employee swears it wasn't in the lost and found this morning. Which means Sang Yan had it. Kept it all night. Then quietly returned it, waiting for her to come back.

What is this? Tension building up in the bladders by the toilets again. Wen Yi Fan's eye flicker away at every possible contact, but her heart won't let her stay silent. "Happy New Year." It's just a greeting, right? A message so ordinary, so unassuming. But this is everything but ordinary. Six years of silence and this is the first message connecting them. And then, his reply. Just one character. "?". Confused. Guarded. They both want to say so much more. Bursting.

As the very last seconds of the year tick away, amidst the crowd, these two manage to find each other again. And this time, he replies. "Happy New Year." It will be happy, you two.

[Epilogue]

He saw her ~ Did he take a peek, knowing that it was her company car?

[Titles]

→ Goodbye, Sang Yan.

→ Seeing Wen Yi Fan Again.

→ 再見，桑延

→ 再見溫以凡

Chinese Goodbye (再見) means See You Again. The opening is their farewell during high school and so it is "Goodbye". But throughout the episode, it is the beginning of their reunion.

The prologue ended melancholically with their separation...whereas the epilogue rewound to when they were still together under one umbrella. This is the show. We're going forward and backward in time, oscillating in their romance.

[Ep2] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Another meet-cute...by the toilets. Both are 口是心非 – their mouths refuse to reveal their hearts, lying about New Year's Eve. There was no sister or zipper-undone business. Just love.

When in danger, Wen Yi Fan was running towards Sang Yan for help, but it was instinctual of her that when she saw him, she didn’t want to implicate him. Aw, I can get behind that.

[Epilogue]

It's Sang Yan glistening in sweat, taking revenge for Wen Yi Fan.

[Titles]

→ Your name.

→ Your name...is carved in the depths of my heart.

→ 你的名字

→ 你的名字刻在我心底

The moment Sang Yan learned her name (which is also her birthday), he never forgot. And so to the woman he loves with all his heart, how could he want to say "?" only. For the whole night, he stared at her words, wondering how to reply...

[Ep3] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Wen Yi Fan wants to treat Sang Yan. He's thirsting for it, but my man makes it so hard for himself.

Her: What do you want to eat?

Him: Anything.

Her: What don’t you eat?

Him: A lot.

Her: How about hot pot?

Him: Hot. (?! It's hotpot)

Her: Skewers?

Him: Smells.

Her: Sichuan?

Him: Spicy! (辣 La! with a head tilt, lol)

Her: Then how about you decide. I don’t have as much food that I avoid.

Him: Anything is fine. ?!?

Someone cut off his tongue, lol.

But it looks like the fates avenged Wen Yi Fan by blasting Sang Yan's home. Their bladders and the heavens are working hard to keep these two in contact. He's interviewed about his home in flames: "I'm very happy and hope that you're happy like me." Even though he's two episodes late, he doesn't let her message hang and replies brazenly like this.

Cohabitation! Sang Yan may not have known this condo was Wen Yi Fan's, but he had to have known they were in the same condominium because he dropped her off last time.

Notice how empty the condo was before he moved in.

[Sang Yan's Snarky Quotes] You have to slow down to understand how he insulted you.

→ 你是腦子沒發育完全還是完全沒發育?
Is your brain not completely developed or is it completely not developed?

→ 你是說錯了還是把心裡話說出來了?
Did you misspeak, or did you just speak your mind?

→ 洗碗機我還認識的， 烤箱我也認識。抽油煙機， 我知道...上次我偷過了。

I actually recognize a Dishwasher, I also recognize an Oven. Range-hood... I know that too. Last time I even stole one.

[Epilogue]

For the interview he says there's nothing valuable at home. But he glances at Wen Yi Fan. There actually is one valuable – a tin box with an old iPhone inside. It has his messages with Wen Yi Fan.

[Titles]

→ Everyone Needs a White Moon Light

→ Everyone Needs a White Moon Light' and You Are My White Moon Light.

→ 每個人都需要白月光

→ 每個人都需要白月光 你就是我的百月光

"White Moon Light" = the unattainable, the one who got away. It may be translated as "First Love", but 白月光 is specifically the first love who got away, unattainable like the moon. We all know the FL is Sang Yan's 白月光, but don't let Wen Yi Fan's 白月光 go unnoticed. Sang Yan is her unattainable love too. I'd argue that she finds him – a light so bright and warm – more unreachable than she is to him.

In the beginning, she asked him if he couldn't see the "Moon" clearly. He replies that he can and they look up together. But their "moon" was always each other. Reachable, you two :'(

[Ep4] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Sang Yan fills their home with furniture. His presence is enough, really – so full of himself xD. He says the kitty tower was a freebie, but it's more like everything else was a freebie just so he could buy her cat some toys.

On the very night they officially share a home, the season offers its own quiet blessing – the first snowfall of the year. To Wen Yi Fan, winter and snow hold deep significance. The little name her father gave her is Shuang Jiang 霜降 because she was born on this day – Frost Descent, the First Frost. Will the First Snow also offer her new beginnings?

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan randomly does push-ups to hide his arousal.

[Titles]

→ Rumours

→ Rumours...Allow Me to Help You Blow Them Away

→ 流言

→ 流言 由我幫你吹散

All these rumours jump through hoops to target Wen Yi Fan! She must have chosen to be a reporter because she wants to help others who couldn’t speak up like herself. But girl, speak up for yourself first :( However, seeing the past and present collide, I sense her confidence and clarity. She believes in herself to rise above the rumours and ignores them, knowing they're false. But after years of silent endurance...they've been wearing her down too.

Sang Yan also has his fair share of rumours....all with Duan Jia Xu, haha.

[Ep5] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

"Yihe."

The two syllables that reveal Sang Yan's raw aching heart. It's the most recent place Sang Yan flew to. Does Wen Yi Fan know? That for him, there is nothing in Yihe – nothing except her.

Sang Yan loved Wen Yi Fan openly, transparently. And actually, he's still like that. He lived on the opposite end, but would wake up early just to take the bus with her. He promised her he would study hard just to attendthe same university. He did everything.

And yet, she crushed this innocent, trusting heart of his.

Why?

Now he's guarded.

They're like strangers under one roof. So close and yet so far. Even when they text each other, their words are so distant. So unfamiliar.

[Epilogue]

Far....but so close too! They're in a world of their own as they communicate without words and just their eyes. You two aren't that far apart even though that was a very long and awkward eye-talk!

[Titles]

→ To Be Closer

→ To Be Closer...Can We?

→ 靠近一點

→ 靠近一點...可以嗎？

Sang Yan is guarded, he's aching, but every part of him still reaches to her. He doesn't want to be the way she described them: "Strangers under one roof." Most of all, he doesn't want her to feel lonely. Fate tossed him this second chance. He can't let it slip through his fingers.

Wen Yi Fan is lonely. She yearns to be closer too or she wouldn't care about the emptiness at home. I think before she was "okay" with being alone. I think. Now that she has a taste of his accompaniment and he's not there, the loneliness is hitting her harder.

[Ep6] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

I hope you can feel that this whole episode is them saying "I want to be with you ❤️" without saying it.

Wen Yi Fan wasn't planning to take the holiday shift, but as soon as she hears Sang Yan won't be returning, she volunteers. She has no one to spend it with anymore. She instinctively wanted his company.

Sang Yan always had plans to come back just for Wen Yi Fan. (Man just had to wage war on his own stomach for the woman he loves. That's all.)

Getting some skinship around here is so tough, we need pushy, rowdy kids in the hallway. Sang Yan and Wen Yi Fan stay there by the doorway, lingering in each other's proximity. Tut tut. The parents came too soon, though.

Dumplings mean a lot! This is the bar, guys. Barely off the ground. For the first time, Wen Yi Fan has an opinion. She, who never voices her desire, finally has a preference. She wants dumplings for some festivity. Sang Yan is caught off guard. Touched. He smiles to himself, thinking Does this mean she wants this dinner too? Yes, it's not just you wanting to be with her, Sang Yan. And this isn't just any dinner. It's a reunion dinner – 團圓飯. On Chinese New Year, it's a "feast" where family members gather for the most important meal of the year. Our man assaulted his stomach so that Wen Yi Fan wouldn't be lonely on this night. This is also their first dinner since their reunion.

With Sang Yan around, even the New Year program seems more enjoyable to Wen Yi Fan. My girl, do you even realize what your heart is telling you? This is not about food and TV anymore. This man is your happiness.

Invasion! Her friends storm in her sacred home with Sang Yan, and now he's going to 殺回來 ~ (return menacingly), reclaiming the spot that's his. That must be why he appears like a ghost behind Wen Yi Fan.

[Epilogue]

Witness the aggravated assault with the family.

New Life Begins' butler is his real dad this time, aw.

[Titles]

→ I Will Always Stay By Your Side.

→ WYF: Will You Always Stay By My Side?

→ 我會一直陪著你

→ 你會一直陪著我嗎？

The weight of Wen Yi Fan's loneliness – time and time again, she was left behind. When her father passed away, her aunt wasn't actually asking the mother how to raise her, but how to get rid of her. She was sent to live with her grandmother, only to lose her too.... And the only mother she had left? Abandoned her. Again. Her aunt took her in begrudgingly, lashing out cruel words whenever she could. Wen Yi Fan was helpless. Losing 20 RMB was enough to break her.

Her whole life she was taught what it feels like to be left behind. Does she let herself hope that there could be someone who stays by her side?...Always?

[Ep7] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Is It Hotpot or Coldpot. Sang Yan prepared a whole table of food for Wen Yi Fan, but the moment the conversation shifts to why she chose Yihe University, the heat from the hotpot seems to dissipate. Still. Cold. Hey, he does like his hotpot cold...

Sang Yan is upset, but look who's back. He was already at his own house, but he drove back to the condo where he left his heart – Wen Yi Fan. He coughs. Silence. Clang, he lets his keys drop. Silence. Then he finds her by the balcony and asks her if she's hungry. He's a marshmallow.

The Assist From Sang Zhi. Thanks to his sister, Sang Yan realizes Wen Yi Fan does care about him. She would ask about —dundundun— his employment status. It seems all of Sang Yan's motivation comes from impressing Wen Yi Fan. Back in high school, when they were caught "dating" and he admitted that he loved her, his teacher told him to channel that passion into studying, and he did – for Wen Yi Fan. Now, will he want to strive for his career for her as well? He is a hopeless romantic, xD

"Sorting garbage just a little improves the environment tenfold."

Wen Yi Fan's mother and aunt aren't garbage she can neatly sort away, but people who poison the air she breathes. They are the reason Wen Yi Fan never wanted to return to Nanwu – more than Yihe, the air was more unbreathable here.

And so why is Wen Yi Fan back? What could there be at Nanwu? Fireworks?

[Epilogue]

These are overpriced sparklers (that are already overpriced), but there is no price Sang Yan won't pay to make Wen Yi Fan smile just a bit. He doesn't know how perfectly timed his fireworks are.

The father who once bought fireworks for Wen Yi Fan isn't here anymore. But there is someone else now, someone who will always be there for her, cherish her.

[Titles]

→ Secretly....

→ Secretly ... But Can't Hide It

→ 偷偷... ...

→ 偷偷... ...藏不住

This title is Hidden Love's Chinese title – appropriate for a Sang Zhi episode, but even more appropriate for Sang Yan's feelings. He can't hide it one bit.

[Ep8] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

First Sleepwalk. Wen Yi Fan dreams of hugging the sun. She was lost, wandering through an endless night, searching for the sun to guide her out of the cold darkness. When she finally finds it, she couldn't resist to hug this sun, tears slipping free as relief washes over her.

Her sun, however, doesn't sleep a wink. His nerves are stretched thin! xD Confusion and arousal pulses through every vessel. He even changed out of his white T-shirt – lest he drive himself to further madness.

Sang Yan wants her to take responsibility the next morning, but it seems his silver tongue has deserted him. By the evening, he's half-serious about reporting her to the police, haha. There's psychological damage too y'all, hahaha.

Wen Yi Fan still keeps the note Sang Yan gave her back in high school: "When you are old, I won't forget the moments we shared". A mulberry (Sang) leaf marks his signature. She kept this note in the same(?) book, just as she also kept the moments they shared in her heart that never changed.

Wen Yi Fan likes Sang Yan. She always has.

So why did she reject him?

Because she believes Sang Yan deserves to be passionately loved, a love she cannot give. That kind of love, the kind he deserves, isn't in her nature.

[Epilogue]

Highlight: the dripping wet view.

Less importantly, the story behind his "What is up with you?" text. He wasn't asking about the hug. He was worried about her that night during the fireworks, noticing the sadness in her eyes. But what Sang Yan didn't realize is that, in his own impossibly warm and wet, and irresistibly magnetic, rock-hard build, he gave her the comfort she yearned for:

Sang Yan was always there. Since high school. When her mother wouldn't support her ballet dreams. When she had no place to practice. Sang Yan was the only person who could make her tears fall, not from sadness, but from relief and happiness.

Aw, Wen Yi Fan.

[Titles]

→ The Sun in the Rain

→ The Sun in the Rain Is Dazzling yet Warm

→ 雨中的太陽

→ 雨中的太陽 耀眼而溫暖

Sang Yang is Wen Yi Fan's sun – steady, glowing, warm. The one she can always count on.

[Ep9] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Grocery Shopping. Sang Yan has a cart. Wen Yi Fan grabs her own. So, Sang Yan ditches his. No one – and nothing – shall separate them again. Not even a cart.

Sharing an Umbrella. Only one man is allowed to share an umbrella with Wen Yi Fan. Scoot. Even Sang Yan's word play is possessive: "我們有傘，你可以閃了 We have an umbrella (san), you can flash off (shan) now."

Scary Movie. Sang Yan isn't scared. No. That’s why he – someone who definitely loves horror movies – went out of his way to find a Mu Cheng Yu film. Totally because of the plot. Totally not because he wanted to "size up" his so-called “love rival.” Hahaha. What a cute coward.

Sang Yan is a little miffed that Wen Yi Fan remembers Mu Cheng Yu so well. But maybe…it's because she remembers everything with Sang Yan that she recalls Mu Cheng Yu as a bonus. This movie was their first (and is their second, lol). Sang Yan might have remembered it just as vividly, you know, if only he had kept his eyes open.

Impressing the Girl. Sang Yan harasses his buttons, waiting, waiting, waiting for the right moment to tell Wen Yi Fan that he has an interview a job has the honour to interview him.

At the interview, he's asked why people play video games. He remembers asking Wen Yi Fan the same thing. Her answer: Loneliness. The memory sobers him.

Group "Date". Sang Yan rejects Su Hao An's dinner invitation. Su Hao An quips that he's so used to having dinner with Wen Yi Fan that he must be running back to her. Spot on! But when Wen Yi Fan is invited too, guess who shows up at dinner.

Wen Yi Fan muses that maybe only girls cherish their first loves. Sang Yan disagrees.

Sang Yan: The place that first love occupies, no one else can replace it.

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan reads in an unidentified language a passage from When You Are Old by W.B. Yeats. It's a poem about fleeting admiration versus enduring, sincere love that sees beyond appearances. À la Sang Yan. It's the poem that Wen Yi Fan has in Ep8, the one where she drew a sun ☀, and the one with the note from Sang Yan ("When you are old, I won't forget the moments we shared"). This was Sang Yan's indirect confession.

He left that note on that page, bookmaking the passage that he loves for her pilgrim soul. With the title of the poem being When You Are Old, he's also telling her she won't just be his first love, but the love of his life. The one he would stay with until he is old.

☀

[Titles]

→ A Deceitful Tongue Conceals the Heart

→ A Deceitful Tongue Conceals the Heart, but the Body Tells the Truth

→ 口是心非

→ 口是心非 但是身體會很誠實

Sang Yan couldn't conceal his fear, and can't conceal his love. And actually, that's true for Wen Yi Fan too.

[Ep10] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

It's been 2 months now! How are they so slow and how is time slipping by so fast.

But first, their high school days. Sang Yan is asked about his marks:

Need I say more?

They're seated separately at the noodle shop, and the ever-nosy owner notes that it’s better for studying. To the man who pokes his nose into other people’s business, Sang Yan tosses a casual warning: "Be careful or you'll go bald later." He does go bald LOL. I don't think it's a spoiler because the dude's hair is clearly a wig.

By the way, they're sitting apart because they were suspected of dating. Interesting. Wen Yi Fan was summoned to her OLD school to be reprimanded for it. Ok. But a forced distance means nothing when Sang Yan already closed the gap in his own way – that note in "When You Are Old".

'Tis the book (with his note) she still has today ↑
He's promising his first love that she'll be his last love

Second Sleepwalk. She keeps brushing her sleeve. What is it she's trying to wipe away?

Chicken Soup. That aunt didn’t give Wen Yi Fan soup because she didn’t deserve it. As much as Wen Yi Fan believes in herself, those words stayed with her. T_T. She hesitates to buy dresses and cakes not because she can't afford them, but because pretty things like those feel wasted on her. Because she doesn't deserve them.

Warmth (Third Sleepwalk). On this particularly lonely day, Wen Yi Fan longs for her sun.

[Epilogue]

At Wen Yi Fan's father's grave, Sang Yan asks, "All these years...was she happy?" No T_T.

[Titles]

→ You Forgot

→ You Forgot, But I Remember

→ 你忘了

→ 你忘了但我記得

Sang Yan remembers...the aunt's words and so today, on Qingming, he buys Wen Yi Fan chicken soup and tell her it's specifically for her. T_T

He closes the window to keep her warm. He gives her hot soup. But the deepest warmth is his presence

Wen Yi Fan remembers...the exact height she needs to kiss him (;

They both remember...their shared moments here: the confession hidden in poetry.

And of course, Sang Yan will remember this kiss. He'll take it back and then some.

[Ep11] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

What a great sleep Wen Yi Fan had last night. Then she notices she sleepwalked again. Nervous, she asks Sang Yan if she did anything inappropriate. So appropriate. Then she asks if she needs to pay him. Sang Yan is offended. Does she think he's some kind of gigolo top courtesan 頭牌 ... Nevermind.

Wen Yi Fan goes on a business trip to Yihe. Sang Yan is unsettled. Yihe. Again. Then he hears who's accompanying her – the intern, Mu Cheng Yu. Sang Yan is suddenly very unsettled. So when she returns, he's at the airport waiting.

During the drive back, Sang Yan asks if she hung out with friends. If she at least toured the city. She shakes her head. She hasn't. She spent six years in Yihe, yet no ties, no attachments. She wasn't fired from her job either. She cleared the rumours with her department head, but she still left.

There was nothing for her at Yihe.

She suddenly really wanted to return to Nanwu.

When she left Yihe, she still never bought herself cake.

Now it's her turn to ask Sang Yan. Why did he visit Yihe last time?

To buy you cake, Wen Yi Fan.

[Epilogue]

Introducing the official 2FL: Duan Jia Xu:

“We have always been together.”

And in record time – Duan Jia Xu is kicked out. Because he's like a gigantic third-wheel lightbulb, lighting up the entire house when no one asked for extra lighting.

[Titles]

→ Protect Yourself Well

→ Protect Yourself Well, I'm Always Here

→ 保護好自己

→ 保護好自己我都在

Wen Yi Fan is deprived of the most basic necessities – food, security...love. It’s why she sleepwalks. Back when she lived with her aunt, she gravitated towards the fridge because she wasn’t being fed.

Wen Yi Fan also denies herself of self-worth. Sang Yan once rewarded her with a strawberry cake in high school, but at some point, she stopped believing she deserved it and she never bought one for herself again. It wasn't about the money. It was about worth, where she was unworthy of the cake.

Sang Yan is not her saviour, but a quiet supporter. She handled her major struggles alone, however painfully and depressingly. But when it came to the "smaller" things – the warmth, the comfort, the reminders that she mattered – Sang Yan was always here. He drew her wings so her pain could fly away. He bought her cake even when she didn't know. He gives her warmth by just being there.

[Ep12] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Sang Yan's Fake Drunk Act.

He's like a malfunctioning robot, haha

A direct glance from Sang Yang ↑ and Wen Yi Fan's heart betrays her. She becomes too flustered to hold eye contact. And then it became this awkward perky "piggyback"

Presently, the intern pulls a fake drunk act on Wen Yi Fan. Twerp, this ain't your turf. Bai Jing Ting Sang Yan hauls him out with the ease of someone taking out the trash – graciously throwing a diss as he does: “Your (Wen Yi Fan's) clumsy arms and clumsy legs cannot handle his skinny upper-arms and skinny thighs.”

Wen Yi Fan's Real Drunk Act. Ripping his shirt isn't enough. One hand isn't nearly enough. Full-on two-handed grope is more like it! LOL.

Sang Yan, after being thoroughly violated, has a serious question for his molester: "Are you trying to pursue me? If you have this thought, just say it straight – who knows, I might even consider it." (你想追我嗎，你要是有這個意思不妨直白 說不定我還能考慮考慮)

Now my eyes are thoroughly violated. Here's BJT's 肌肉貓 – Muscle-Cat:

Why Did Wen Yi Fan Drink? Because of Sang Yan. The intern told her that Sang Yan drank himself into oblivion at his university graduation out of depression. Wen Yi Fan couldn't stop wondering if she was the reason. It was that pain – the fear that she made him sad – that made her drown herself in the same sadness. [Ep22 Folks – this is the only reason Wen Yi Fan drinks. She's heartbroken that she is the cause of his pain.]

"Fourth" Sleepwalk. For the first time ever, Wen Yi Fan lets her desire take over. Under the guise of sleepwalking, Wen Yi Fan hugs Sang Yan – tighter, and tighter. Sang Yan notices something's off: this hug is shorter than usual. Any longer and she might combust.

This Hug, Though, Is Seven Years Overdue. Seven years ago, she didn't want to push him away. She wanted to hold on – to hug him, but she suppressed that thought, and she's been paying for it ever since.

After the hug, Wen Yi Fan bolts to her room, heart pounding, panic settling in. The regret, the vulnerability, the sheer recklessness of what she just did. It's too much. She swears to herself, "I will never drink again. Even if I do, I can't use it as an excuse to act crazy. If I ever get the chance, I'd like to use my drunkenness to apologize to Sang Yan." [Ep22 Folks! But girl, you got to apologize sober!]

The Morning After. A guilt-ridden Wen Yi Fan tells Sang Yan to start locking his door at night in case she molests him again. He counters, “Do we have a ferocious beast in our house or something?”

Rawr

Only one ferocious beast, and I can confirm Kitty is innocent.

I thought Sang Yan would be in all black (or at most, brown and minimal white) throughout, but his wardrobe is warming up just like his relationship with Wen Yi Fan. And he's rocking the denim and the entrance:

[Epilogue]

After being violated from head to toe, Sang Yan patting Wen Yi Fan's head doesn't even cover interest. However, the reason is pure immaturity. He's just showing off to the skinny-arm-and-skinny-thigh-intern out of needless insecurity.

[Titles]

→ How To Be Happy

→ How To Be Happy? As Long As There's You

→ 如何才能快樂

→ 如何才能快樂？有你才快樂

Wen Yi Fan spent six years at Yihe as a walking shell of a person. Ever since her father died, her happiest moments – all of them – have been with Sang Yan. Because of Sang Yan.

That's not Zhang Ruo Nan's most flattering shot, but Wen Yi Fan is cracking up at her ballet exam because of Sang Yan. The night before, knowing she'd be nervous, he texted her: "Think of the examiners as a row of pumpkins."

High School Moments & the Present Colliding. Sang Yan watches Wen Yi Fan, lost in admiration just like the past. He never stopped loving her. And Wen Yi Fan has changed a lot since Ep1. She's lighter. She keeps her hair neat – no obvious strays. And she's stopping to admire the beauty around her. Just what made her happier?

Be happy, you two!

The poor neighbours under her though

[Ep13] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

A Habit She Can't Afford to Keep. Wen Yi Fan doesn't want to get used to Sang Yan's presence. Worse, she's afraid of it. She knows too well how easily people disappear – her father, her grandmother, and then worst of all, her mother, who left by choice. She won't let herself get used to it again, no. She can't. She's traumatized :(

So the next morning, when Sang Yan casually tells her he made too much congee – he always makes "too much" – and asks her to help him finish it, she turns him down. "I'll have oatmeal instead." It's a rejection. A quiet, deliberate rejection. (Also, Sang Yan definitely timed it. He stepped out the second she did. He was waiting for her just so he could tell her about the congee...and to see her.)

An Introverted Girl's Choice for an Extroverted Career. At first glance, a career in journalism seems like the last thing Wen Yi Fan would choose. She avoids confrontation. She lets rumours fester rather than clearing them up. She spent most of her life not asking the hard questions. But that’s exactly why it makes sense too. She knows what it’s like to have thoughts buried beneath silence. She doesn’t need to be the loudest voice in the room. She just needs to be the one who asks, the one who listens, the one who understands. But sometimes it's not bad being the loudest in the room! Just like Sang Yan was for her. He was a good influence :')

Fourth Sleepwalking. After meeting the woman who calls herself her mother, Wen Yi Fan sleepwalks again that night. She stares at the clock, then wanders into Sang Yan's room – seeking warmth, seeking something solid to hold onto. But Sang Yan shoos her away......duuuuuude isn't this what you want! xD. Good gentleman, though. Too good. Sigh.

Some Habits Are Impossible to Break. The next morning, something's ...off. Sang Yan isn't interrogating her sleepwalk like usual. He's not even coming out of his room (or did he already leave?). Breakfast is already prepared though. Without thinking, Wen Yi Fan sips on the strawberry milk juice. Sigh. She did it again. Got used to him. Got used to the way breakfast is always waiting for her. Got used to the way he's always there. It feels a little lonely that Sang Yan isn't coincidentally leaving his room the same time you are, doesn't it, Wen Yi Fan?

A Promise She Broke. Wen Yi Fan cries the whole night when Sang Zhi tells her how happy Sang Yan was getting into University of Nanwu. Because they promised to go there together. But she broke that promise. She left him before he could leave her.

Fifth Sleepwalking. She can't suppress it. She just can't. Wen Yi Fan sleepwalks into Sang Yan's bed. Her heart has a habit of finding its way back to him even in her sleep.

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan proofs the house for sleepwalking hazards. It's why he was rushing Sang Zhi out of the house.

[Titles]

→ I Promised

→ I Promised To Be Together With You

→ 約好了

→ 約好了 想跟你一起

Everything points to the same truth: Wen Yi Fan also wants to be with Sang Yan. Even when he wasn't there, she'd order his share of noodles. She likes his presence so much that even in her sleep, she gravitates to him. Can Wen Yi Fan keep denying her desires anymore? For him, can she overcome her fears? Today she even spoke up for herself :')

[Ep14] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Cohabitation: 186 days! What have you two been doing!

Well, well, what have you two been doing. Confused, Wen Yi Fan wakes up in Sang Yan's bed. Her clothes are intact, unfortunately lol. She thinks she can slip away unnoticed. Wishful thinking. Sang Yan instinctively in his "sleep" pulls her closer, his hand resting against the curve of her hip. A gentle, possessive touch. Slowly, carefully, she turns her head. Phew. He's still asleep. Holding her breath, she lifts his hand, peeling herself from his grasp. Freedom! Not so fast. A low, sleep-roughened voice stops her in her tracks.

Sang Yan: Wen Yi Fan, why are you here? Explain yourself.
Wen Yi Fan: You're dreaming. When you wake up, everything will be normal again.
Sang Yan: Do I look like an idiot?
Wen Yi Fan. Mm. Just go back to sleep. When you wake up, you won't look like one.

Sang Yan smirks. 扮豬吃老虎! The fox playing the fool.

Wen Yi Fan spends the morning avoiding him. She's caught. Again. Sang Yan, ever the shameless one, declares that he's deeply concerned for his chastity as if she might snatch it away ruthlessly and emotionlessly. LOL. This bully-victim.

She dodges him after work, resigning herself to an excruciatingly dull evening with the lying intern.

But she can't dodge this:

She screams at this hot crisis: Sang Yan, shirtless.

They agreed to wear clothes in open space!

Sang Yan: You’ve kissed me. You’ve touched me. Does it really matter whether I wear clothes now? LOL.

Sang Yan is a little drunk (Or. is he?) He claims he's feeling good tonight and doesn't mind rewarding her with a glimpse of his skin. Wen Yi Fan, utterly flustered, circles the table, avoiding him like her life depends on it. She tries to negotiate with his requests so that he'll follow hers. He only has one request though:

Sang Yan: Can you keep a distance from all the other guys? He feels used. She hangs out with other guys while reaching for him at night. Wen Yi Fan, he just needs a label, an official promise and he'll let you touch everywhere xD

At his rare moment of vulnerability, Wen Yi Fan agrees. She'll "pity" him. So that's a yes that he'll be the only guy she touches?

Wen Yi Fan bolts to her room again. She notices something is off with herself again. At Sang Yan's touch, she doesn't flinch. He's the only one.

And the significance of Ep12's epilogue really wasn't Sang Yan's needless jealousy, but Wen Yi Fan's reaction. Sang Yan is her exception.

[Epilogue]

Wen Yi Fan finds the nightlights and the corner-guards. Tears glisten in her eyes. Is she recalling what she said about love? "Feelings of love [...] are just like first loves. Pure. Beautiful. Wholehearted. Wanting nothing more than to make the other person happy. It’s simple, expecting nothing in return." This is Sang Yan's love for her.

FYI The timeline. The nightlights and corner-guards were set up before she slept in Sang Yan's bed. Wen Yi Fan finds them the next night, which is tonight.

Then when Wen Yi Fan sits down on the couch (to admire the lights), she almost squashes Sang Yan. He's sleeping out here so that his room is available for her in case she sleepwalked to him again. Awww. He's so sweet.

[Titles]

→ Can't Let Go

→ Can't Let Go of My Feelings for You

→ 放不下

→ 放不下對你的感覺

During uni, he couldn't forget his love.

Seven years later, she can't forget her love.

It's always been the same for the both of them.

(Random note: they slept in the same spot at their university dorms – top left, our left.)

[Ep15] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Some marks never fade. Back in university, Sang Yan once asked Duan Jia Xu which direction was Yihe. Then a plane carved a perfect line across the sky – like a thread pulling him toward Wen Yi Fan.

Presently, the threads connecting Wen Yi Fan Sang Yan seem to be snapping. She wants to leave. Again. She finds a new place to rent, but she hesitates. She doesn't seem to know why. Qiao Qiao might. She points to the faint outline on the wall – the mark left behind by a painting the last tenant owned. It had been there too long. Of course, it left a trace.

Just like Sang Yan.

What they had – what they still have – is carved into him. Into her. Some marks never fade.

Then Why Is She Leaving?

Her thoughts about him:
He should have everything he wishes for.
If he reaches for something, it should be his.
If it's the stars he wants, he should have them.
Sang Yan, you're really good.
Let him always stay this way – spirited, unshaken.

Let me pretend we never met again.

Her thoughts about herself:
She doesn't deserve cakes.
She doesn't deserve dresses.

Nothing good should belong to her.

The difference is heartbreaking. How highly she sees him....and how little she sees herself. She doesn't deserve him because he deserves the best and she is anything but.

But Can Wen Yi Fan Leave Sang Yan? Late at night, Qiao Qiao wakes at the disappearance of Wen Yi Fan. She searches the condo... It can’t be. She pushes open Sang Yan’s door. And there Wen Yi Fan is, snuggled in his bed. This time her mother and her aunt didn't visit. What triggered her sleepwalking? She’s stressed from leaving Sang Yan. Aww. Missing him before he's gone.

Then Wen Yi Fan's doctor approves of a housemate. Hallelujah. That's all she needed. Any excuse to stay will do! Any reason that doesn't force her to admit she loves him. Because not yet. She's not ready for that. She doesn't love herself enough to think she deserves him.

Capricorn Men. Sang Yan is absent the whole time. Is he really that busy, or is he avoiding the inevitable conversation. It seems he'd rather sit through blind dates than hear Wen Yi Fan confirm she's leaving. Finally, he returns, but avoids having dinner with her. This time, though, she’s the one who ordered two servings. How could he refuse Wen Yi Fan? However, he's still bitter about the congee she rejected that morning. And now he’s supposed to eat her pizza? Unfair. He pouts. She laughs at his pettiness, and promises that in the future, she'll eat whatever he cooks.

His expression is calm. His mind, I assure you, isn't. He's screaming: Future?!?! WE HAVE A FUTURE?!

There's more good news: she tells him she doesn't plan to move as long as she's not disturbing him. Of course he loves to be disturbed. But the answer he wants to know more is whether she wants to move. (Because there's a difference. He's asking about her desires and not his inconveniences).

Wen Yi Fan: To be honest... I don't want to move.

The air shifts. A smile tugs at Sang Yan's lips. (And my heart.) Then he picks up the conversation that Wen Yi Fan started earlier about Capricorn males – they really are nothing short of remarkable. Sang Yan is proof. He confirms his research is solid. And he confirms Qiao Qian's advice is spot on. To flirt is to talk about horoscopes (of course. You didn't know this?) and not letting her words drop.

♫ Wang Su Long OST: 好喜歡你 hao xi huan ni～～～ ♪

Self Control? Wen Yi Fan has none. That's her way of "flirting". Qiao Qiao had taught her to keep the conversation going and this is how it went after she's flustered about his sleeveless shirt.

Sang Yan: What? Afraid you can't control yourself? I know my face alone is enough to make people commit crimes. Speaking right to me.

Wen Yi Fan: Nope. [I don't have self-control.] I'm afraid I might commit a crime. Oh.

Instant. Regret. She panics, wanting to change the topic. But Sang Yan doesn't let it drop. He catches her wrist, gaze sharp. "What exactly are you afraid of?" he murmurs. "What crimes are you afraid of committing?" Explain yourself, Wen Yi Fan.

The air stills. He pulls his chair back. Walks towards her. Leans in. Really leans in. He dares her to face him, dares her to come closer. She does. But she can't meet his eyes, admitting defeat that Sang is indeed very 頭牌 the best of them all. She wimps out.

Ep16/17 Folks. This lingering look has to be the moment Sang Yan knows Wen Yi Fan is into him. Her attempt to flirt didn't go unnoticed.

[Epilogue]

Snag Yan rushed out of that blind date to have dinner with Wen Yi Fan at home. (And rushed into shower so he has a legit reason to show off his guns and make her lose control. I see.).

[Titles]

→ Traces

→ Trace...Are Carved With Love

→ 痕跡

→ 痕跡是愛刻出來的

[Ep16] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Happy Birthday, My Star. Seven years ago, Sang Yan wanted to wish Wen Yi Fan a happy birthday. But her phone was off. Disconnected. Unreachable. Just like she was. So he powered off his own phone too, locking it away in a starry tin box. It's the same box that held every train stub from Nanwu to Beiyu, the silent proof of how many times he chased after her.

Presently, a little miracle is born – and who does Wen Yi Fan contact first? Sang Yan. He's her little big miracle. At the same time, a little life was lost – it was Su Hao An's doggo. Wow, was that random. Wen Yi Fan witnesses it all. Does she feel it? That life is fleeting, miraculous. Then a text from Sang Yan arrives: Will you be home late tonight? Wen Yi Fan ah, appreciate the present, and your little big miracle.

It's also Wen Yi Fan's birthday again. That's why Sang Yan wanted to know when she was coming home. He bought her cake – strawberry. Girl, you deserve cake. She makes a birthday wish, one she won't tell him.

Sang Yan: But if you don't tell me, how do I help you make it come true? Oh my.

Wen Yi Fan looks up at him. As if her wish is him. As if he really could make it come true.

She lies that it's related to work.

Sang Yan: And here I thought you were wishing for me to be your *boyfriend. Specifically he says 對象 duixiang. The term is more formal and traditional. It's gender neutral. It used to be the go-to word for a partner you were dating with the intention of marriage.

Wen Yi Fan looks up at him, startled. He spoke her heart, didn't he.

She gave him the smiley-face, the best part of the cake. And he gave it back to her :)

The picture with the cake is a Zhang Ruo Nan improvisation.

Sang Yan bought her a present too: a perfume called First Frost (her little name Shuang Jiang). Then, finally, after all these years, he says the words he couldn't before: Happy Birthday. Happy Birthdays and Happy New Years are so hard for these two.

Sang Yan Is Booked. Su Hao An wants to drink with Sang Yan to talk about his dead dog his new love interest. He doesn't deserve the dog. Sang Yan rejects. He's busy. Lately, he needs to confirm something...like whether there's a certain someone who's been trying to lay him and so he needs to free up his schedule to be laid.

Wen Yi Fan's Wish. She doesn't tell Sang Yan, but she tells Qiao Qiao ... that she wants to pursue Sang Yan. Yesssss!!! She doesn't think he'd like a passionate pursuit. Nononno! He loves passionate. Give it! All these years. All those trains – not buses, trains – from Nanwu to Beiyu. Sang Yan deserves passionate.

Late-Night Texts & Heart-Rate Spikes. They live in the same condo and yet they're texting each other in their rooms ~ Every message is an electric charge – tingly, filled with anticipation for the next.

→ Wen Yi Fan thanks him. Then deletes "for the present" because she isn't just grateful for the gift. She's thanking him for everything.

→ She’s a little disappointed he didn’t seem more enthusiastic when she said she’d celebrate his birthday too, but that's because he was busy calculating the days left: 69. Of all numbers, lol.

→ She wants him to be her human timer, that way he will text her every day.

→ At exactly 00:00 of the next day, Sang Yan, her human timer, reminds her there's 68 days left.

→ Wen Yi Fan stays awake just to catch his texts, afraid to miss them in her sleep. Cute!

→ But didn’t he tell her to count the days herself? He would, he says. But with her memory? Yeah, no confidence. She seems to have forgotten she still owes him dinner.

→ She promises he won’t suffer any losses with her. But he smirks: “You've already taken full advantage of me. I have no quota left to lose.” Read also: I will only lose to you.

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan searched all over the place to hide his present. We were cheated out of an epilogue. This is an advertisement. Bai Jing Ting is the spokesperson for this kitchen appliance brand.

[Titles]

→ Happy Birthday

→ Happy Birthday, Hope Your Wishes Are Fulfilled

→ 生日快樂

→ 生日快樂得償所願

Sang Yan, I hope your wishes are fulfilled too!

[Ep17] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Back in university, on November 11 (think Black Friday), Sang Yan ended up in Yihe and by complete accident, he's at Yihe university. Btw, November 11 is also called Singles Day. No wonder he's longing for Wen Yi Fan. But the number of their single days are running out ~

Present.

Wen Yi Fan’s attempt at flirtation doesn’t go unnoticed by Sang Yan, even if it’s a spectacular failure (e.g. she compliments him after he's practically cussing at his game). And now, she’s learning to play a game he loves. If only she accepted his offer to play, she would have learned his handle: 敗降 = Lose to Jiang. The word 敗將 means “defeated general,” but instead of using the standard term, he replaced it with her name, 降 (Jiang). Losing, but only to her.

Sang Yan is hopelessly addicted to his spectacular failing flirt. Every day, he rushes home, eager to be seduced. His friends tease him if he likes his seductress back. "Yeah," he answers shamelessly. "And so what?"

Tonight, though, he's running late. Not by choice – Su Hao An is too clingy.

But there's someone even clingier waiting at home: Wen Yi Fan is snuggled in his bed.

For the little tyrant who's taken over his sheets, Sang Yan switches on the lamp, leaving her a light. She stirs, though, turning toward the glow, drawn to it. But is it the light she's attracted to or...is it Sang Yan (her light). His heart tightens.

Sang Yan: If you won’t reach out to me first, how can I find the courage to give myself to you again? 你能不能追我明顯一點不然我心裡也沒底。如果你不肯對我先伸出手我有這麼在一次把自己交給你？She is reaching, just very cautiously :') Sang Yan, you feel it.

Sang Yan retreats to the couch. Oh. But little tyrant missy is there in the morning too.

Colour me shocked – she wraps his arms around his neck, showing him the consequences of not locking his door! He's definitely never locking his door now. He shifts closer, daring her to take advantage of the moment. And now my heart is clenching. You two have night and day all mixed up. And then – she wimps out. She bolts, but he catches her wrist again. Closer. She's flustered, barely hanging on. Next time, she blurts out.

Love them both for reminiscing right after ~~

50 DAYS LATER....when is "next time"?? There is a dinner date though. Wen Yi Fan finally offers to treat Sang Yan to the meal she owes him. The moment the words leave her mouth, it's as if the air turns rose-coloured. Too eager, she tells him she'll pick him up and then quickly tacks on that it's only because it's on the way. He's too eager too and says he has to come back for something (her) and so they'll go there together.

For the first time, Wen Yi Fan wears a skirt and puts on lipstick. Sang Yan loses himself at her beauty for a second there. His favourite detail: she's wearing his perfume.

What was supposed to be a one-on-one dinner becomes a group affair, but even in a crowded room, the romance lingers. Sang Yan only has eyes for Wen Yi Fan. After dinner, he lingers too, trying to tell her something – his confession is burning at the tip of his tongue. Too bad she has a business trip.

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan graces his appearance in the work group chat because his "girlfriend" wants the group photos. Someone insignificant offers to edit them first, but Sang Yan shuts that down. No filters, no touch-ups. Wen Yi Fan is just that pretty.

[Titles]

→ The Greatest Distance

→ The Greatest Distance... [It's At the Tip of My Tongue] but I Can't Say "I Want You,"

→ 最遠的距離

→ 最遠的距離 ….是說不出口的要你

They don't say it with there mouths, but I really love how the director included all the shots of them saying it with their eyes <3

[Ep18] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Wen Yi Fan's eyes are heavy with exhaustion, but she still draws Sang Yan an apple – the birthday present he requested. But does he truly want an apple? No. He only asked for it to make things easy for her, because she can't make it back in time for his birthday. The only gift he longs for is her.

His tenderness continues to be laced with playful deception: Sang Yan warns her that her sleepwalking victim can only be him. It's an order, wrapped in Sang-Yan-softness: yes, he's telling her not to hug other guys, but he's also telling her – don't hurt yourself, don't bump into things, don't stress out. (Or am I reading too much into it?).

Remember Wen Yi Fan’s last business trip to Yihe? Sang Yan had asked if she visited friends or revisited the places she once knew. She hadn’t. Six years in Yihe, and not a single tie, no attachments. But today, she walks through Beiyu, retracing her past. And every memory is with Sang Yan....(: There's that, and the fact that Wen Yi Fan has changed – slightly, subtly, lighter, happier.

She stalks trails behind a pair of high school students, drawn to their uniforms – one from Beiyu, one from Nanwu. Just like her and Sang Yan. The pull of nostalgia leads her to the noodle bar. Their noodle bar. Wen Yi Fan has never belonged to any city, and no city has ever held her. But one thing anchors her to this world: Sang Yan. (I love what the director said about Wen Yi Fan: she appears as if she feels little for the world, but in truth, she feels too much. It's her sensitivity that deepens her pain more).

A sign at the noodle bar reads: 喜歡的人要見一面又一面 – "One should see the face of the one they love again and again." A playful pun: 面 means both “noodle” and “face.”

The place is called Beiyu Memory Noodle. Wen Yi Fan captures the name and updates her WeChat, centring “Memory.” This bar holds most, if not all, of her happiest moments in Beiyu. And all of them belong to Sang Yan. I wonder if Wen Yi Fan loves noodles, or was it simply that noodles became her happy food because of the memories tied to them?

It was here, years ago, that Sang Yan left a note, an indirect confession to Wen Yi Fan: "When you are old, I won't forget the moments we shared. 🍃"

And now, it is here that Wen Yi Fan confesses, directly. On his birthday, January 2nd, she calls him. Asks if his words still stand – if she chases him, will he still consider it? I’m just telling you in advance, asking you to think about it. She quickly hangs up. ❄️ From believing Sang Yan deserved the best while thinking herself unworthy of even cake, she now wants to be courageous for him. To strive to be better, to pursue him. That’s so touching that she finds the courage to be brave – for him and for herself. :') She loves him...and she is starting to love herself too.

And Sang Yan is here! The owner (bald as predicted by Sang Yan, lol) asks what he'd like to order. He replies, "This time, I'm here to meet someone". The words from the sign come full circle (喜歡的人要見一面又一面). He’s not here for noodles. He’s here to see the face of the person he loves. Again and again. Forever and ever.

Wen Yi Fan stares at him. How did you get here? He smiles, "任意門." "Anywhere Door" from Doraemon, a magical gateway that takes you wherever you desire. Sang Yan wishes he had an Anywhere Door because then he could reach Wen Yi Fan instantly.

The rest of the episode is their past and present intertwining – these two should have never been separated in the first place 🥺

Overtime was Wen Yi Fan's dream and Sang Yan fulfilled it. He created a place where ‘overtime’ wouldn’t feel like a burden. A bar where s/he could play the music s/he loves, where people could linger without feeling rushed for her. The lights at the noodle bar and Overtime bar, are they the same design!?

Not only did he fulfill her wish then, but now, too. Wen Yi Fan’s birthday wish was to make Sang Yan her boyfriend. And here he is, graciously offering all of himself to her.

Sang Yan's reply, his confession, his vulnerability, his bare heart: "溫霜降， 有些話我一直覺得特別矯情， 就連說一個字都覺得丟人。但這輩子，我總得說一次。你還沒發現，這麼多年，我還是只喜歡你。 Wen Shuang Jiang, there are some words I’ve always found unbearably sentimental – so much so that even saying a single one feels embarrassing. But in this lifetime, I have to say them at least once. After all these years, have you still not realized? You’re the only one I’ve ever loved.

Sang Yan is dying from the nerves. Say something, Wen Shuang Jiang.

Wen Yi Fan's eyes shimmer, holding back tears. I love how the director inserts a flashback, playing in reverse the high school moment where she rejected him...not because she didn’t love him. His words today – You’re the only one I’ve ever loved – are hers, unspoken, all the way back then too. Her eyes, the director's storytelling, what Wen Yi Fan really wants to tell him – it's so beautiful here. She promises that these lines that he finds too cheesy, she'll say them to him from now on. She just needs a bit more time.

She's tearing up from his confession because she remembers this (↓) and that his feelings are her feelings too, feelings she couldn't speak of.

Sang Yan teases "Is it really worth being this happy? Well, I suppose winning the heart of a once-in-a-lifetime, extraordinary man like me is worth celebrating for a good ten years or so." 裝吧你！Just keep pretending, Sang Yan :D. Not once, not for a second, did Sang Yan’s eyes leave her during the confession. He is overflowing with love, with happiness. After all, all the miles he traveled to reach her, this was his happiest journey.

[Epilogue]

If Sang Yan's birthday present (Wen Shuang Jiang) isn't arriving on time, he'll go retrieve it ~

*Ring Ring* Sang Yan receives it a little ahead of schedule. Her confession (her present to him) arrives while he’s on the train to Beiyu – to (present himself to) her.

I feel like he's wearing so many layers because he noticed how rainy it was in Beiyu during their last phone call. He meant to give her his clothes.

Sang Yan remains unchanged. Not now, not in high school, not in university. He went to Wen Yi Fan rain or shine, near or far. Yihe University is much farther than Beiyu High School, but he still went every chance he got. Imagine how much longer it took him by train back then – when now, after graduation, he flies. Sang Yan from 7/8 years ago, smile a little! Your confession will come. Sniffles.

[Titles]

→ When I'm Flying Towards You...

→ ...Please Stay There and Wait for Me

→ 在飛奔向你的途中...

→ ...請原地等我

The title/theme is obviously about Sang Yan flying to Wen Yi Fan as she waited for him. But it’s interchangeable. In Wen Yi Fan's quiet, restrained way, she ran towards him too. She made the choice to go Nanwu, to him. We were never given her reason, but the way her gaze lingered on the strawberry cake after she quit – that was Sang Yan to her: sweet, familiar (and too good for her). Sang Yan, just like Wen Yi Fan, stood there, unwavering, waiting for her. When he confessed that all these years, there was only her in his heart – those were her feelings, too.

And here she wants to buy him the present he wants: the apple. Girl, look at his eyes twinkling at you, "You are the apple of my eyes." 🍎

[Ep19] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Sang Yan secretly joins Wen Yi Fan's game, choosing the handle: 敗降 (mentioned in Ep17). The name itself is a confession – 敗將 means "defeated general," but instead of using the standard term, he replaced it with her name, 降 (Jiang). Losing, but only to her. He also overhears Qiao Qiao asking why Wen Yi Fan started playing. He doesn’t hear the answer, but he doesn’t need to. He asked her once before. Her answer was loneliness. Wen Yi Fan is lonely.

Sang Yan’s care, wrapped in his usual playfulness: "What’s going on with your work? I spent so much effort nourishing that bit of weight on you, and in just half a month, you’ve lost it all." Awww.

This cute, shameless scoundrel steals a kiss right under her nose – or rather, lures her into giving him one. He leans in, lips angled just so, waiting for her to turn. Wen Yi Fan flees to the washroom, pressing cool hands to her ears, burning like embers ~ ~ (:

Meanwhile, Sang Yan orders three boxes of pizza – a cute excuse to keep her longer. Stomach capacity? Irrelevant. What is a stomach when hearts are practically leaping out of their chests?

(◕‿◕)
(Also a pizza PPL)

Wen Yi Fan asks when Sang Yan bought the ticket to Beiyu because when she tried last night, they were sold out. Last week. Not because he knew she wouldn’t make it back in time, but just in case. After all, he's a seasoned pro at this, of course he knew when to buy them. Wen Yi Fan quietly notes that she’ll do the same from now on. Aww. She's telling him she'll go to him now.

Hand holding in the morning. Just two fingers intertwined and I'm already all fuzzy inside ~~

Back at home, ignoring all the Su Hao An, Qiao Qioa, Xiang Lang, intern crap, Sang Yan receives his official present, a big, soft, beige coat. But this is only his second favourite. His favourite present is Wen Shuang Jiang.

A scab has formed behind Wen Yi Fan’s ear. She doesn’t think much of it, letting it heal on its own. But Sang Yan isn’t satisfied. The cut is still there, and he insists on treating it. (Wen Yi Fan’s emotional wounds are just like this – scabs that keep peeling, keep bleeding, ones she simply lets heal over time. But now there’s Sang Yan, who can’t stand to see her hurt, even a little. Healing her ear… healing her heart.)

To someone irrelevant, Wen Yi Fan describes the way San Yan loves her: “The way he treats me… every day, it feels like he’s confessing.” He really is! From the handle name to the train tickets to the food he makes to his body language. Everything.

Already their tastes – or hers – are being influenced. Wen Yi Fan bought Sang Yan a beige coat, thinking it'd be a pretty, modest colour (like her style), but on him, nothing is modest, lol. For dinner, Wen Yi Fan picks dumplings that are more flavourful. She prefers her food bland too, but from now on, she wants to match his tastes a little more.

Sang Yan claims he hates being 矯情 (jiaoqing) – overly sentimental – but look at him. He was staring at the Ferris wheel first, wanting to ride it with her too. When she brings it up, his usual composure melts, smiling, eyes twinkling. Maybe Sang Yan is into girly things or maybe Wen Yi Fan just reveals that girly side out of him <3

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan takes pictures of the birthday cake Wen Yi Fan got him. Again, he isn't the 矯情 type (jiaoqing; overly sentimental), but then he even updates his WeChat. His friends are shocked, especially Su Hao An. "Last time I mentioned his birthday, he said I was 矯情 (jiaoqing).

Sang Yan: Apologies for the inconvenience, but my girlfriend (對象, duixiang) made me update it. Whatever you say, birthday boy.

[Titles]

→ Defeated (General)

→ Bai Jiang, not Defeated General降, but Defeated by You降 (Wen Shuang Jiang降)

→ 敗降

→ 敗降，不是敗將，而是敗給你 (溫霜降)

He's only defeated by you, Wen Shuang Jiang!

[Ep20] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Wen Yi Fan likes the Ferris wheel because watching the city from a distance soothes her like pressing a cold compress against a lingering ache. It's healing to her, which brings me back to the director's description of her: Wen Yi Fan seems indifferent to the world, but in truth, she feels too much. All the times she gazed at the city, whether in joy or sorrow:

Post-Sang-Yan-Chaser:

Pre-Sang-Yan-Chaser:

That's why she rented here. All the windows.

Poor Sang Yan has to face all his worst fears just to take Wen Yi Fan on "dates" – horror movies, heights. And as if suffering once weren't enough, he somehow ends up enduring them twice each time xD

On the Ferris wheel, Wen Yi Fan asks if he believes the rumour: couples who kiss at the peak will stay together forever.

Sang Yan replies, “Of course I don't believe in these rumours. I believe in myself (swoon). But this rumour is to make you believe in it (drops).”

I do this even if he's not my boyfriend:

But I don't do this. Maybe.

Wen Yi Fan tells her dream-Sang-Yan, 晚安. It means Good Night, but its pinyin also means “I love you, love you.” 我愛你，愛你 = wo ai ni, ai ni => acronyms = w a n a n = 晚安. She hasn't told real Sang Yan that she loves him yet.

For Chinese New Year, Wen Yi Fan handwrites couplets. Amused by the little surprise, Sang Yan adds his touch. He draws a snowflake – Wen Yi Fan – on the one with his name. And on the one with hers, a mulberry leaf – Sang Yan. Even on paper, he refuses to let them be apart.

The couplets:

❄️ 桑田滄海慶豐收

"From mulberry (sang) fields to vast seas, celebrating a bountiful harvest."

A phrase that speaks of great change over time (literally, "mulberry fields turning into seas"), perseverance, and is often used to celebrate hard-earned success, a well-earned reward. VERY SANG YAN!

🍃 凡夫俗女樂團圓

"Ordinary (fan) men and women rejoice in reunion."

She altered the idiom 凡夫俗子 (ordinary men) to 凡夫俗女 (ordinary men and women). The phrase suggests that regular people find joy in coming together for celebrations, festivals, etc. This is Wen Yi Fan's wish T___T. A simple wish, but for her, one that has always been just out of reach. WAAAH.

Wen Yi Fan thanks Sang Yan 🥺🥺

不管怎麼樣你都能接住我
No matter what, you were always able to catch/accept me
不管怎麼樣我都會接住你

No matter what, I will always catch/accept you

After Wen Yi Fan's father passed away, no one loved her anymore. The best was always saved for her step-sister. Sang Yan ain't hearing anymore of this bullshit. All that she's used to, forget it all because everything in this house was designed for her. She deserves all the best. His only complaint is that she's too bony. She needs more meat in her. Wen Yi Fan, smiling, says she's been told she's fatter. And now Sang Yan is upset. Who's that good at conversation to say that? Haha. And this is how Sang Yan shows Wen Yi Fan there is someone who will 疼 teng her, care for her, love her, give her all the best. *Sniffles*.

[Epilogue]

When she took pictures of him, he was also taking pictures of her. They're dating and they're still so secretly in love with each other~

[Titles]

→ I Want to Quietly Live in Your Soul

→ Catching You in Every Fragile Moment

→ 想悄悄住進你的靈魂

→ 接住你在每一個脆弱的時刻

Sang Yan worked so hard to be her shifu, aww. He was her friend throughout university.

And now he's here, catching every one of her fragile moments. Tightly, warmly, lovingly.

[Ep21] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

When our couple are finally in sync, their work schedule is out of sync. Work just has to be demanding now eh. And when they reunite, they cling so tightly as if making up for all the lost time – until duty calls her away.

Just when Wen Yi Fan feels her happiest, her past slithers back, insidious and unwelcome. Where is hope? She rests her head on Sang Yan’s shoulder. Hope is here. In the warmth of his embrace, in the quiet strength of his presence. His arms wrap around her, steady and unyielding, as if charging her weary soul with his warmth. And he made her congee. Nourishment in every form, this man.

Wen Yi Fan pulls away from his embrace. "Sang Yan..." Her gaze lingering on him. In her heart, she makes a quiet vow: she wouldn’t leave him again. Not now. Not ever. She wants to be with him every day. So she leans back in, wrapping her arms around him once more.

Sang Yan can sense something is off. "Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen."

And so she talks, lips parting. "I want to kiss you."

A kiss – light, fleeting. And then she’s gone, slipping away like a mischievous thief (at least, to him).

"Wen Shuang Jiang." Sang Yan strides after her, his voice laced with amusement and challenge. "That’s what you consider a kiss?"

"It’s not like it’s our first time." He turns her to face him, his gaze locking onto hers. "Do I seem like someone to be taken so lightly?"

Wen Yi Fan averts his eyes. (How is she supposed to meet his gaze when he’s speaking to her at this proximity?)

"你說我這是什麼命，一大早被你又親又抱的，親又不好好親。溫霜降，你要是想調情的話能不能認真點？"Tell me, what kind of fate is this? First thing in the morning, I’m hugged, kissed, and yet you can’t even kiss properly. Wen Shuang Jiang, if you’re going to flirt, can’t you take it seriously?"

She murmurs. "Then... how do I show you I’m serious?"

"Look at me."

She hesitates, then obeys, lifting her gaze to meet his.

"Come closer when you talk."

As if they weren’t close enough already, she takes a careful step forward. "And then?"

He closes the remaining distance. His lips meet hers – deep, unhurried.

He parts only to tell her this, "我不就上鉤了 And just like that, (can't you feel that) I’m hooked."

And he kisses her again, unable to stop himself. They both sink into it, intoxicated, lost. Until Wen Yi Fan breaks away, pressing herself into his chest, heart pounding.

"Why are you dodging?" he murmurs, voice husky.

"I’m… a little shy."

He hugs this little shy-ball closer. Then, ever the tease, he asks, "Are you hungry?" It is a dilemma – he couldn’t kiss and eat at the same time. So he offers her a choice. Eat your congee, or kiss me some more. What’ll it be? Congee. Unfortunately.

At the breakfast table, Sang Yan smirks. "Still thinking about the kiss?"

She is. But not as much as him.

He studies her, then teases, "Your kissing skills… could use some work."

"Isn’t that because – [I’ve only kissed you]?"

"Then practice more." And he steals another one.

The sweetness doesn’t end here. They exchange Valentine’s gifts. Hers is a couple’s bracelet—a snowflake for him, a mulberry leaf for her. He complains that she always treats him like a girl. Because she sees the girl in you, Sang Yan xD. As she fastens the bracelet around his wrist, his playful finger pokes her blushing cheek.

Sang Yan's gift is a recorder for her work. There are also audio messages inside. His comforting voice plays through: You deserve the best. And there will always be someone at home waiting for you. No matter what, I’ll always be by your side.

[Epilogue]

Can Wen Yi Fan keep her promise? Can she be his power bank, his endless source of strength too? :’(

[Titles]

→ Where Is Hope?

→ Hope Is Wherever You Are in the Future.

→ 希望在哪兒？

→ 希望在未來每一個有你的地方

In the end, Wen Yi Fan’s happiness overflows. She writes in her journal, pouring her joy onto the pages. Yet, even in happiness, there is regret. She regrets the university years without him, the lost time. Now, she wants him in every moment of her life. She wants to be his power bank, too – to give back what he has always given her. Because his presence has always been her greatest source of strength. Please, Wen Yi Fan, find strength. For him. But most importantly for yourself too :(.

All her flashbacks of him being there:

(Even when she wasn't looking, he was there)

[Ep22] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

It’s Qian Fei’s wedding (and his bride is this actor's real wife), a grand affair meant to celebrate his love, but Sang Yan steals the show. Tonight, he unveils his girlfriend to his dummies buddies.

Wen Yi Fan, ever the sweetheart, sets the boys straight. She is the girl who was trying to lay Sang Yan, except she wasn't "laying", she was genuinely pursuing him. Swoon. She had promised to say all the lines, but who knew she would spoil him in public like this. Love her! The boys shift gears, mocking Sang Yan for comparing himself to Duan Jia Xu – a man they all begrudgingly agree is unfairly good-looking. Wen Yi Fan, without hesitation, declares that she votes for Sang Yan. Stop. He doesn’t need her vote. No, really. He leans back, lips curling. He hasn’t forgotten she complimented Duan Jia Xu. He won’t force her.

But Wen Yi Fan only tilts her head, utterly sincere at casting Sang Yan a vote. “Otherwise, why would I have been so crazy about chasing you?” *Screams*

The table erupts in cheers. Sang Yan lets them, lets their noise wash over him. Because inside, he is drowning in something else entirely. This woman – the woman he loved for so many years – loves him back. And loves him so much. He tilts his head up, staring at the ceiling. He needs a moment – just a moment – so his tears don’t betray him.

🥹 Now vs. Ep16 🥺

Then Alcohol has consumed Wen Yi Fan.

"Sang Yan,” she murmurs. "Were you happy all these years?” He stiffens. "And why would you open a bar?” she presses. (All because of you, Wen Yi Fan.). Then, in a grand, dramatic declaration, she announces she'll earn the money. She’ll pamper him at home. That way, he’ll be all hers. Sang Yan huffs out a laugh. "Then...do I even need you to provide for me?" (What he means: I’m already yours.).

Still drunk, Wen Yi Fan complains that he smiled at other girls when they first met. And the point is – she was watching. When he thought she had buried him in the past, she was still looking at him. (If you go back to Ep1, she does glance at the girls and then back down at her own clothes, as if comparing herself to them.) Wen Yi Fan continues to embarrass her herself and reveals she dreamed about him too, dreamt that he brought his wife to Yihe. Sang Yan will make that dream come true. He’ll bring her to Yihe.

Wen Yi Fan apologizes to Sang Yan. "I’m too heavy." Sang Yan scoffs that she needs more weight on her.

A beat later, she apologizes again. "My words were too heavy." She was too cruel seven years ago. She murmurs that she doesn’t like Yihe. Doesn’t like Beiyu. Doesn’t like any city. And the cities don't like her.

At least in Nanwu, there’s her father’s grave. But what she doesn’t say sits heavy on her chest. At least Nanwu still has someone I want to see. Someone I don't dare see. (Sang Yan).

And the reason Wen Yi Fan is this drunk? Because she learned the truth. She found out what she was never supposed to know – how Sang Yan spent his university years drowning in her absence, how he had asked, over and over, if he had been nothing more than a spare tire. The thought wrecks her. His pain is hurting her now. [Ep12 foreshadowed this episode. The only times Wen Yi Fan drowns herself in alcohol is for the same reason: Sang Yan. The only person she hurt. She didn't mean to hurt him. She really didn't :'(]

At home, Wen Yi Fan helps Sang Yan shower – rub rub rub. Can't blame her. His chest has magnets whenever she's drunk. She refuses to shower, however, and decides she will stink Sang Yan to sleep. He groans and refuses. But he said she could hug him to sleep before. Sang Yan exhales. "你能不能給我留條活路？Can you give me a way to survive?" How is a man who loves this woman supposed to just sleep?

Finally, he relocates the human-sized sack of stubbornness and regret – Wen Yi Fan. She falls asleep on bed almost instantly, but she isn’t done talking. "It’s all my fault…"

Sang Yan can’t just leave her like this. So, he sleeps at the end of the bed. When morning comes, somehow, Wen Yi Fan has migrated across the bed. She’s wrapped around him, hugging him in her sleep. She got her way.

[Epilogue]

Wen Yi Fan washed herself. Most of herself.

[Titles]

→ Opportunities

→ ...Are Reserved for You

→ 機會

→ ...是留給你的

Wen Yi Fan had asked Sang Yan a riddle in her drunken haze:

Q: 狗會汪汪汪，羊會咩咩咩，那雞會什麼？

A dog barks. A sheep bleats. And a chicken…?

A: 機會留給有準備的人

Opportunity belongs to those who are prepared.

(雞 Chicken and 機 Opportunity both start with "Ji")

Sang Yan thinks he has the answer, but he doesn't have Wen Yi Fan's. She smiles sleepily and corrects him: "Opportunities are reserved for Sang Yan."

Even in university, Wen Yi Fan's time was reserved for Sang Yan, her online shifu. But Sang Yan's answer isn't wrong. He was prepared, always.

[Ep23] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Sixth Sleepwalking. Wen Yi Fan sleepwalks again because her "uncle" is back. He's no longer a phantom lurking in the corners of her mind – he's here. Flesh and blood. Sang Yan catches her in his arms. "I won't close my door anymore," he murmurs. So that she can come straight in to find him. Wen Yi Fan's tears trickle down, more and more. Sang Yan cries with her. There's ache in his voice, asking her what happened all these years?

Wen Yi Fan clutches his hand and pulls him towards her bed. Sang Yan follows without resistance... except it is a dilemma. He tries to lead her back to his room, but she doesn't move. She just sits there, holding onto him. So, gently, he lifts her legs onto the bed, never once letting go of the hand that reached out to him. Never.

Sang Yan climbs onto the bed, maneuvering carefully – only to nearly squash Dian Dian. "Sorry". Laughing in the middle of my tears. Sang Yan's so polite.

Wen Yi Fan wakes up....snuggled into a broad, comforting chest. Sang Yan? Her sleep-addled mind struggles to make sense of it. This is her room. Why is he here? He answers, “You’re the one who barged into my room, yanked off my blanket, and hauled me over here (like a sack of potatoes).” Wen Yi Fan is skeptical. She hauled him over? (You bet! Single-handedly too.).

It’s looking really bad for Wen Yi Fan. All these years, she ran far, far away, and they're all back, ruining her life again. But this time, she doesn’t retreat. This time, she confronts her nightmares – her "uncle," her aunt. Her mother. Wen Yi Fan stands her ground because they dared to mess with Sang Yan. Will Wen Yi Fan overcome her trauma? For him? Will she? :(

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan has seen this "uncle" in high school. I believe this will play into Sang Yan's guilt. All these clues. All these hints. He missed them all. Yet he was there all this time while she suffered on her "own". And then he gave Wen Yi Fan a "hard" time after reuniting.

[Titles]

→ Hide

→ But Where Can I Hide?

→ 躲

→ 能躲哪兒

Sang Yan once hid from her sight, skipping his own graduation just to watch hers from afar.

Please don't hide anymore, Wen Yi Fan T_T. You're not the one who needs to hide.

[Ep24] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

And so it happens.

Wen Yi Fan runs away. Drops everything. Leaves Nanwu. Leaves her job.

Leaves Sang Yan.

Wen Yi Fan doesn't ask for forgiveness because she doesn't deserve it. Not eight years ago. Not now. She leaves a letter:

"I don't have the privilege to hope that you could understand. But I hope that you believe me when I say I have a reason I must leave. Don't miss me. Don't find me. I hope you will be safe and happy. From Shuang Jiang" Sang Yan T___T. He's so blindsided T_T.

Sang Yan files a missing person’s report. That’s when he learns the truth about her mother. About the fact that when the police called, her mother didn’t ask a single question about her daughter’s whereabouts. Not one. Not a bit of worry. This is family? This is cruelty.

Meanwhile, Wen Yi Fan arrives in Hong Kong. She rents a dingy room. The first thing she does is open the window and peer out.

Sang Yan follows the trail of her past. It’s like chasing a ghost. Her friends know nothing beyond surface-level details. Her supervisor belittles her from fleeing from the social pressure of being accused of seducing a higher-up when she was the one who had been harassed. Her relatives? They abandoned her long ago. The place she lived during high school was a storage room with a thin mattress on the floor.

Sang Yan finds her old study notes. Right in the middle in big, determined letters are "Goal: University of Nanwu!!" She wanted to be with him...she really wanted to. What happened?

[Epilogue]

Wen Yi Fan considers ending her online relationship with her shifu 敗降 (Lose to Jiang).

I didn't notice it the first time, but she might be aware that 敗降 is Sang Yan.

She goes to check her messages and we find out they raised a rabbit and flowers together. He tells her they're either starving or withering and he asks her where she is. (I have no idea how "recent" these messages are; a few years ago or a few minutes ago).

The names of their shared rabbit/flowers are obviously romantic:

敗降的戀人 溫和的開水

"Lose to Jiang's" Lover (is) "Gentle Water" (= her handle).

Wen Yi Fan's original intention for opening the game wasn't to end all her relationships to this world, including her online one. She was lonely. Then she learned her shifu was always Sang Yan. That's when she thinks of terminating it... In the end, did she end her online relationship? Can she really cut all her ties with Sang Yan?

[Titles]

→ The Reason for Leaving…

→ …Is That I Refuse to Be the Storm in Your Life

→ 離開的理由...

→ ...是不願成為你人身的風暴

[Ep25] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Trigger Warning: This episode covers Wen Yi Fan's trauma. There are depictions of sexual assault. It will not be graphic, but the emotions and her insinuating fear may hit too close to home.

Hong Kong. Wen Yi Fan moves again. The renter calls her "Miss Sang" and assures her there's good sunlight in her room. Windows. Miss Sang!

The Past. Beiyu. Wen Yi Fan moves into her uncle’s place – her father’s brother. There, she lives with her male cousin, her aunt, and the aunt’s brother. At night, the aunt’s brother knocks on her door, his voice oily with forced warmth, asking to chat. The room stills. Wen Yi Fan freezes. He tells her they're family now, that she shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help, and then he pats her shoulder. Wen Yi Fan is rigid. Then, there's a sound outside. Her aunt is home. Relief washes over as Wen Yi Fan flicks toward the noise. When the "uncle" finally leaves, she finds her entire body stiff with tension, her fingers white-knuckled into fists.

Her aunt and (biological) uncle exchange glances when the "uncle" (aunt's brother) comes out of Wen Yi Fan's room so late at night. Even they know it's inappropriate, but they said nothing.

The next day after school, Wen Yi Fan feels a shadow follow her. Then – relief. It's Sang Yan. They eat noodles together, and he must have noticed something was off. She also doesn't bother to wipe away the stray noodle that landed on her hand. He picks it up, opens his mouth and flicks it back behind his head. She laughed, despite herself. Her sunshine.

Wen Yi Fan and Sang Yan had a promise to go to Nanwu together. That was always her goal. As the final examination approaches, she doesn't want him travelling back and forth for her. They agree to meet when the results come out, which is too long for Sang Yan’s liking still. Smiling, she tells him Good Night. I’m reminded of what she told dream-Sang-Yan: that ‘good night’ means "I love you, love you".

Meanwhile, the monster at home looms. He lures her under the pretence of searching for something in the storage room, only to corner her between the shelves. His big arms are like walls, trapping her. Fortunately, the aunt and uncle returns. But how many more "fortunate" moments does Wen Yi Fan have to rely on? The "uncle" steps back. Again, her aunt and (bio) uncle say nothing, do nothing.

Fear chains itself to her bones. She phones her mother and begs her to take her back. I've never heard Wen Yi Fan cry and beg ever. This was the first time. And also the last time. Her mother deflects the plea, promising only to speak with the aunt, and just like that, they all knew. And they all left her to fend for herself.

After the final examinations are over, one night, the "uncle" picks Wen Yi Fan's lock. Wen Yi Fan isn't asleep. The way her eyes are alert, it's like she never had a night she was peacefully asleep, always fearing the sound of the handle turning. Tonight, her nightmare comes true. He enters her door. A sickening smile stretches across his face. Wen Yi Fan lunges for her exacto knife, but he knocks it from her grasp. She's backed toward the window, and he presses forward, using his full weight to pin her down.

She scrambles from under his weight. She claws for the latch – finds it. Yanks open the window. They both tumble down. The windows. That’s why Wen Yi Fan loves windows. It's her hope that a better world exists beyond them. And her only tangible means of escape – the one thing that allowed her to reclaim her safety.

This shot from the window. Wen Yi Fan's escape route.

The police are called. The aunt fumes at Wen Yi Fan’s mother, outraged that her kindness in "raising" Wen Yi Fan had been repaid like this. She claims that her brother was simply drunk, wandered into the wrong room. He hadn’t done anything, and now, because of her, he has a broken leg.

Wen Yi Fan looks at her mother. Blankly. Brokenly. Heart and body. Why isn't she asking if she is okay? Why is she only apologizing to the aunt? Why is she saying sorry? To whom? For what?

Finally, her mother turns to her. "A Jiang, did you misunderstand the situation?" Atrocious.

Even the police officer couldn’t stomach it. She cuts in, asking them all to come to the station. The mother, however, explains she couldn’t stay long – her husband was waiting in the car.

Wen Yi Fan, wrapped in a towel, looks towards her mother, hoping she can hear her heart breaking and begging. "Mom. Please save me, please. Don't leave me."

Her mother leaves.

Then Wen Yi Fan stands up, struggling because she too suffered a leg injury. Her mother never even realized.

Every part of Wen Yi Fan – dreams, safety, trust – shatters this night.

The Present. Hong Kong. No matter how far Wen Yi Fan runs, she can’t outrun that rainy night. But her fingers tighten around the couple bracelet she shares with Sang Yan. (Desperate to run from everything, but she clings onto one: Sang Yan)

Six months later.

A ballet dancer Wen Yi Fan met on a business trip (A Sen) recognizes her. They talk. She mentions she’s studying here now, working part-time. On the bus ride home, she spots a ballet class through the window. A spark ignites.

Nanwu. The "uncle" visits Sang Yan, as if taunting him, and also harassing his customers at his bar. Sang Yan is clearly emotional as he throws him out. But this uncle is worse than trash, and disgustingly tells Sang Yan, "It's just a girl. I almost had her. Want me to tell you the details?" Rage explodes. Sang Yan’s fist collides with his face. But the uncle was waiting for Sang Yan to come close. He smashes a beer bottle over Sang Yan’s head. Sang Yan bleeds, but he doesn’t care. He tackles him, fists flying, fury spilling over. But he stops himself. Killing him would be easy, but he refuses to let this filth ruin him too.

[Epilogue]

Sang Yan watches a movie alone. He remembers their first movie together. Wen Yi Fan had said horror films were good at making her forget a lot of things. Now he understands why she never feared horror films. Her life is more horrifying.

[Titles]

→ Where Are You?

→ ... No Matter Where You Are, I'll Go Look for You

→ 你在哪

→...不管你在哪我去找你

The opening title could be Wen Yi Fan asking as well. Yes, she's the one who physically ran away from everything, but in her heart, she was still reaching for one person: Sang Yan. Eight years ago, they heard their song on the supermarket speakers. Unconsciously, they both looked around, searching for each other. If only they had found each other then.

Eight years now, the yearning doesn't stop:

– The(ir) cat

– The ferris wheel where they kissed at the peak, promising forever

– Their phones. She's at the phone booth, wanting to call him... and he's been sending her messages: Are you okay / I'm looking for you / Good night / Did you eat / Remember to eat / I miss you.

She's searching too, searching for a way out.

[Ep26] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

The Past. Beiyu. Wen Yi Fan stays at the kind police officer's place, but in her heart, all she wants to do is run, run from everything because maybe then, she’ll be better. And so she changes her university application and picks Yihe University, as far from Nanwu as possible.

The Present. Nanwu. Xiang Lang is finally here...to blame Sang Yan for pissing off Wen Yi Fan. The audacity! But at least he tells Sang Yan that she's in Hong Kong. Although he's half a month late! For six whole months, Sang Yan has been relentless, searching without rest, refusing to give up, and Xiang Lang just sat on the information, convinced that Sang Yan had mistreated her. And yet, now he decides to share? What changed, dude? Why not continue to leave her lost in the abyss a little longer?.....Thanks, man. And so did Qiao Qiao.......

Unlike them, Sang Yan doesn’t waste a second. He books the next flight to Hong Kong. He tracks down the place she rented, heart pounding, only to find… nothing. No Wen Yi Fan. But there was someone who went by Sang Yi Fan. *Sniffles* Dejected, he leaves.

Su Hao An gets a new lead but hesitates. What if this is just another dead end? What if Sang Yan gets his hopes up, only to be crushed again? This time, Su Hao An and Qiao Qiao go first, hoping to spare him from another heartbreak. Meanwhile, Qiao Qiao’s priority is Wen Yi Fan. She needs to know: does Wen Yi Fan even want to go back to Sang Yan?

Hong Kong. 2CP are getting cuter with Mr. Stiff but please, for (mine and) Sang Yan's sake, find Wen Yi Fan first!!

Wen Yi Fan teaches ballet to little kids, but her ankle aches. It's an old injury flaring up, but still, she's happy. She’s also enrolled as a graduate student somehow. That’s how she spends her six months in Hong Kong – productively. Then she hears A Sen's story. He once had a chance to dance professionally in New York. A car accident shattered that dream. The next day, however, he shows up at the academy with a crutch, smiling. He happily declares that he still gets to stay in the city he loves and do what he loves. This optimism…does it inspire Wen Yi Fan?

Qiao Qiao and Su Hao An did it! I mean they found Wen Yi Fan (and they probably did that too). Wen Yi Fan doesn’t run. She’s ready, and promises to have lunch with them tomorrow. At night, she finally powers on her phone. The screen lights up, and there's a picture of her and Sang Yan. *Heart clenches* Then the notifications flood in. (Sang Yan is pinned at the top with Qiao Qiao. The two constants in her life.) She opens Sang Yan's first, of course:

@21:13 Wen Shuang Jiang. I'm very angry. Angry that you never told me what happened six should be eight years ago. And angry at myself for only understanding now. Wen Shuang Jiang, you always want to protect others, but you need to believe that I can protect you too. Can we talk?

@21:27 I miss you.

Sang Yan sent these today. His first message, sharp with anger, was built from the confrontation with that monster a few days ago and another dead-end search. But only 14 minutes later, it crumbles into I miss you. The anger was never real. It was a desperate reach for the woman he loves.

But Wen Yi Fan replies to someone else first: the "uncle" who's taunting her again. She tells him she won't run anymore.

The next day, Wen Yi Fan calls Sang Yan. The phone rings. And rings. And rings. Qiao Qiao and Su Hao An watch from afar, nervous. Is she calling to break up? When they return, Wen Yi Fan finally tells them what happened: Sang Yan is coming to Hong Kong.

[Epilogue]
Sang Yan takes forever to pick up because he couldn’t believe his eyes. For six agonizing months, he has yearned for this moment. And now, her name flashes across his screen. His hands shake. His whole body shakes. Really, he's shaking. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Wen Yi Fan: Sang Yan. How are you?

Sang Yan: The girl who owes me 20 bucks. I don’t know where she went. Pause. Were you able to sleep well?

They're both tearing up.

Wen Yi Fan: Can we see each other?

YES. YES. YESSSSS.

[Titles]

→ Promise

→ ...I Won't Break Our Promises Again

→ 約定

→ ...我不會再失約了

Wen Yi Fan won't break promises anymore. And she also isn't that girl who would cry over 20 rmb. No, not this Wen Yi Fan.

[Ep27] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

The pre-show: Su Hao An's love is finally reciprocated. Hahaha.

Sang Yan arrives at the recital. There is no music, and Wen Yi Fan isn’t dancing. She stands quietly at the side, yet the rhythm of his heart pounds as if she were still twirling beneath the stage lights. Radiant. This is Wen Yi Fan.

After the recital, he waits in the hallway. And is he wearing the light colors she likes?

"Wen Yi Fan." Sang Yan's voice, thick with emotion. Or that could be just me.

This moment, this voice crashes over her, sudden and overwhelming. Tears come instantly. She turns, slipping behind the doors to hide them. But she isn’t running away. No, she just needs a second to steady herself, to blink the tears back before they fall.

Sang Yan follows. He looks like he might cry himself. She tells him her students didn't win any prizes, but they're happier than if they had placed first. Sang Yan is attentive to everything – her voice, her face, her words. He replies, "I am too. Just seeing you makes me happier than anything." Then, he beckons her closer, away from the kids’ sight, and holds her tight. She melts into his embrace, her face buried in his shoulder. This reunion is nothing like the first. This time, they know – truly, deeply, unshakeably – that they love each other.

Wen Yi Fan tells him she came here to study, to improve herself. He doesn’t understand because how could she not be good enough? She answers softly, "To deserve your good." (｡•́︿•̀｡). It was her uncle’s reappearance that reminded her she didn’t deserve good things, that at any moment, he could take them away. Sang Yan’s expression hardens. He tells her, steady and unwavering, “That’s his fault. Not yours. Do you understand?” She processes his words in silence, slowly, thoughtfully. (｡•́︿•̀｡).

“It was your disappearance that almost destroyed my world.” His voice is low, raw. His eyes, steady, tell her the same truth. “I love you. I really, really love you.” Wen Yi Fan absorbs this. She also processes these words thoughtfully. What is she thinking?

Well, what is she thinking. At the hotel, Sang Yan realizes she only booked one hotel room, and she isn't going back home, but staying with him. "Two beds." She adds. Ah nope, she's not thinking anything. Bummer. His escalating excitement xD

She showers first. When she steps out, she's wearing his shirt because she didn't bring anything else. Meanwhile, Sang Yan has slipped out to buy medicine for her ankle. Treating her injury now is like mending every wound from eight years ago. Fixing everything about that rainy night. At the recital, the first thing he had asked was about her leg. What had that question meant to Wen Yi Fan? Even her own mother hadn't noticed something was wrong. But Sang Yan had. And now, he's treating it. It's not too late (｡•́︿•̀｡).

Face to Face. Her injured ankle rests in his hands. Wen Yi Fan's voice is calm, sorrowful as she tells him about that night, the uncle who would assault her uncle. Sang Yan had pieced it together from the clues, but hearing it from her hurts in a way he hadn't braced for. "Wen Shuang Jiang… If you don't want to say it, you don't have to." (｡•́︿•̀｡). But she keeps going. Tonight, she's ready to face her trauma.

Side by Side. He moves beside her before she even realizes it, before she confesses that no one helped her. No one was on her side. "Not even my mother." (｡•́︿•̀｡). She apologizes, "I'm sorry." She had applied to Nanwu. She didn't lie about wanting to go to the same university as him. She apologizes again, "I’m sorry, Sang Yan. I said so many cruel words to you. That wasn’t what I wanted to say." Her intentions were to cut him off and made sure he never looked for her. She was the one at fault for breaking their promise. And more important, she had embodied this thought after that night, "我配不上你. I am unworthy of you."

Balcony. After telling Sang Yan all her deep insecurities, Wen Yi Fan moves to the open balcony. Sang Yan follows, "Wen Shuang Jiang. You take that (我配不上你) back. Why do you think I haven't found a girlfriend all these years? Because I only like the best. Understand?"

With the past revealed, Wen Yi Fan finds the courage to confess her love. “I never treated you like a spare tire. All these years, other than you, I haven't loved anyone else. I'm sorry, Sang Yan. I broke our promise.” I believe these are the words she had wanted to say at the mid-levels escalators. But she had wanted to tell him everything before she allowed herself to reciprocate his confession..

Wen Yi Fan continues, "At that time, Che Xing De told me this was an embarrassment. Shameful." Even her own relative had told her not to report it, that it would tarnish her reputation. That's why she hadn't told Sang Yan. But now, she regrets it. If only she had told him. Those words had lived in her heart, carved deep. Made her believe: "我配不上你. I am unworthy of you." (｡•́︿•̀｡).

Sang Yan firmly tells her to believe this: "Don’t listen to that garbage. Listen to me. There is nothing shameful about this. You did nothing wrong. You did well. You protected yourself. You are brave. You should have been absolutely unrestrained from standing under the sunlight." (｡•́︿•̀｡). Tears fill Wen Yi Fan’s eyes. She nods. She understands now. They embrace on the balcony. Inspired by this comment, this movement signifies a transition from confinement to release. This balcony becomes a metaphor for her state of mind. She is no longer trapped by the past, she is no longer looking through the glass, she is stepping beyond it. When Sang Yan follows, he does not let her face this moment alone. It is here, in this liminal space, she fully opens up not just about her trauma, but about her love for him. (｡•́︿•̀｡).

"Thank you," he whispers, "for protecting my A Jiang." Acknowledging that she is her own, and she is his precious. (｡•́︿•̀｡). And as if Sang Yan isn’t perfect enough, he jokes that he might not have even accepted her pursuit back in high school. Instantly, her guilt lifts. Lightness returns. So sensible.

Back Inside. Going back into the room is no longer confinement. The distance between them has disappeared. Wen Yi Fan has opened herself completely – her vulnerability, her heart, and now, her body. Only one complaint: his ab flash that's not directed at us.

The next morning, she packs to go back to Nanwu with Sang Yan. He looks around and knows she had never intended to stay here long. She doesn't have much with her. Now, she can say it confidently: "I only want to stay where you are." Because where he is, that's home.

At Nanwu, the rain hasn’t stopped, but it no longer matters. There's always a sun at her side – Sang Yan. Wen Yi Fan also returns to her reporting post. Sang Yan only has one question: Does she like it? Yes. That’s enough for him. He will always support her, and for that she inches closer to him on the couch, and whispers a compliment, "You are the most handsome man I've met." The rest of this scene below is unaired footage, which is all adlibs from them, and actually the adlib started when Zhang Ruo Nan whispered the compliment. It was Wen Yi Fan's line, but it wasn't supposed to be whispered.

He raises a brow, "Shouldn't you be shouting that"

She laughs.

He leans in, declaring louder, "You are a goddess."

She laughs a ZRN laugh.

She rewards him with a 櫻桃 (yintao, cherry).

He amusingly teases her for calling it that.

She's genuinely curious, "What do you normally call it?"

He smirks, "Goddesses call it 櫻桃"

The next day, Wen Yi Fan returns to work with renewed purpose. She understands now – why this job matters to her. News has the power to protect people. When the truth is revealed, the shadows lose their hold – nothing can remain hidden forever. She hopes to become stronger for those who need her.

[Epilogue]

You can hickey me too.

[Titles]

→ I Accept

→ ... The Imperfect Me

→ 我接受

→ ... 不完美的自己

The parallels:

1) Her rejection in the prologue and her confession throughout. Back then she didn't think he could accept her – because how could he when she didn't even accept herself?

2) His first and second reunion. The first reunion after 6 years (Ep1) was careful and restrained. Sang Yan had played it coolly, feigning indifference. He did everything to keep from showing just how much he had missed her. Their second reunion after 6 months, was different. This time, there was no question. Sang Yan eyes are warm, unguarded, overflowing with love and longing.

[Ep28] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

[Trigger Warning in the first 10 minutes] Wen Yi Fan’s cousin’s fiancée/wife reported Che Xing De for murder. At first, she had nearly fallen victim to him herself. Her own future mother-in-law had convinced her to bury the incident in shame. But then she overheard the aunt’s confrontation with him, the confession that she had helped him bury a body nearly a decade ago. A high school girl. She is Guo Ling. Wen Yi Fan remembers her. When she first transferred to Beiyu, Guo Ling was the only one who helped her on the bus. A kindness so small, yet one Wen Yi Fan never forgot. She had wanted to be friends.

Sang Yan texts Wen Yi Fan to call him when work is done. Work isn’t done, but Wen Yi Fan closes her laptop anyway. Priorities. And look at Sang Yan, his phone angled strategically and with a desk lamp as lighting so that he looks good to her xD. She hopes Sang Yan will be more alert because Che Xing De is on the loose. And yes, he really should have gone with "Yes ma'am" to reassure her instead of pulling his I'm-a-man card. Meanwhile he tells her to listen to his recording. (Which one in particular? You deserve the best / Wen Shuang Jiang, be safe, your boyfriend is telling you to come home safe / There will always be someone at home waiting for you / No matter what, I’ll always be by your side. Wish there was an Easter egg of him recording these and being all embarrassingly sincere.)

Wen Yi Fan tells him about reuniting with the police officer who helped her in the past. Her daughter is getting married. Sang Yan, ever smug, tilts his head. "Is this a hint?" He asks. Since her birthday is coming up, he reminds her to think of her birthday wish –hinthint, proposal, hinthint– and, like always, he will make it come true. Oh Sang Yan xD. So she wants the proposal eh.

Su Hao An laughs at Sang Yan, teasing, "小別勝新婚" Reunion after an absence is sweeter than being newlyweds. (A more descriptive idiom than "absence makes the heart grow fonder"). And Sang Yan – fond, smitten, utterly transparent – throws on the jacket she gave him, almost beaming as he heads out to pick her up.

Che Xing De! He's at Wen Yi Fan's workplace(, a shadow waiting to pounce on Wen Yi Fan or why else would he be there). But Sang Yan pounces him first (and he made sure to call the police first). He beats Che Xing De down, fury driving every blow. But Sang Yan isn’t unscathed – eight stitches to his hand, and a knife wound to his abdomen.

Wen Yi Fan, who has no idea the extent of Sang Yan's injury, is on her way to the closest hospital, panic suffocating her in the backseat of a taxi. And then finally a call from Sang Yan.

When she sees Sang Yan, however, her relief collides with anger. This isn't just a 'small' injury. "I don’t care about any of it anymore. Even if I wanted Che Xing De to rot in prison for life, 但這些想法都敵不過你半分絲毫 but nothing matters more to me than your safety. Not even a fraction."

Sang Yan mirrors her ache. He calms her that he protected her this time. "我其實非常在意， 在意透了. I cared. I cared so much it nearly consumed me."

Back then, after she rejected him – "When he said I won't bother you anymore, and I really didn't bother you anymore." For something so small, he held a grudge for so long. He let his pride rule him, swearing never to be the one to reach out first. He regrets it. Regrets all of it. Regrets that for these two years, he spent them only focused on his own emotions and took "revenge" on her. He didn't notice the weight she carried, the way she hid her pain, her depression and her utter desperation –

Wen Yi Fan stops him. "Enough. These are my problems."

Sang Yan. "No, this is Che Xing De's fault." Che Xing De is finally behind bars. Sang Yan wants her to smile now. He tugs at her, voice soft. "Stop crying. I'm the injured one here." She sniffles, still frowning.

[Epilogue]

It's Dark Sang Yan banishing Wen Yi Fan's shadows again. (And he realizes that during all of Wen Yi Fan's sleepwalks, she hadn't stopped at the clock, but at the light.)

[Titles]

→ Chance for Rebirth

→...If There Is

→ 重生的機會

→ ....如果有

There isn't. So cherish this life, you two. Also, don't be reckless anymore, Sang Yan! Hmph.

[Ep29] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Back in university, Year 4, after losing a game, Wen Yi Fan blames it on Sang Yan’s handle: Defeated + Surrender (敗降). What is it supposed to mean anyway? Failure (失敗) or Surrender (投降)? Neither. It's "Defeated by Jiang," by Wen Shuang Jiang. Anyway, she's quitting the game to focus on her internship, but two years later, she reappears. (This is shortly after being accused of seducing her director). Immediately Sang Yan messages her. For two whole years, Sang Yan kept the game, a frozen world open for this miracle. And if that wasn’t enough, every month, without fail, he flew to Yihe just to buy newspapers with her articles. He could have ordered them online, but he wanted a reason to be there.

Fast forward 8 years later, Sang Yan continues to be "defeated" by Jiang. He's injured. because of her, she thinks.

Wen Yi Fan: Sang Yan, why are you so pitiful? What did you do in your past life to deserve me? You always have bad things happen to you. In your previous life, did you wrong me?

Sang Yan: For example?

Wen Yi Fan(’s throat tightens. Her eyes sting): For example...when I was seventy, eighty years old, I finally met an old man I actually liked, but on our wedding night, he eloped with you. Lol, she's always turning Sang Yan into a girl. That’s why, in this life, I keep making you suffer.

Sang Yan: So if I repay my debt in this life, will you treat me better?

Wen Yi Fan: What debt?

Sang Yan: If I owe you a man, can I repay you with myself? Hm?

Wen Yi Fan (softens, lips curving despite herself): I suppose that's acceptable, but I thought you owed me an old man.

Sang Yan: Alright. Then I'll owe you for now. After forty, fifty years, no fifty more years later, I'll pay you back. (He's also adding more and more years with her).

Wen Yi Fan asks him if there’s anything he needs to avoid for his injury.

Sang Yan (effortlessly shameless): Nope. There are only things I need more of. I particularly need a Shuang Jiang, a Yi Fan, and a Dian Dian.

Wen Yi Fan: Then won’t you be worse off? (She's mad when he's looking and crying when he isn't)

So one of them finally helps the other shower. But when it's time for the lower body, Wen Yi Fan makes a quick retreat...

Sang Yan: So you think that since I'm injured, I'm incapable (down there)?

Wen Yi Fan: Isn't that right? I don’t have any ‘capabilities’ either.

Sang Yan tugs her back before she escapes completely.

Wen Yi Fan eyes dart downward – no, not that far, just his abdomen injury

Wen Yi Fan: What are you thinking –

Sang Yan: What are you thinking? I want to kiss you. Can we? (When he asks for permission ~~ !)

Wen Yi Fan (exhales, voice smaller): ...That's acceptable.

Sang Yan (who's injured at the waist): Lift your head a bit.

Wen Yi Fan tilts her chin up, sweetly obedient.

Sang Yan: A bit more.

Wen Yi Fan rises on her toes. Kiss ~

A kiss away, their height difference is a kiss away ~

Uncle and Aunt Che are arrested. The people who made Wen Yi Fan endure pain for so many years are finally punished. Sang Yan’s words live in her heart, and now she’s comforting herself with them: "The boy you love will thank you for protecting yourself." (｡•́︿•̀｡).

A few years ago, Wen Yi Fan's dream would still be dancing. (In Ep1, after meeting Sang Yan at overtime, on the subway back, she still had that whimsical dream of being a ballerina.) But now, especially after the call with Guo Ling's father, she finds her job meaningful. She actually loves being a reporter.

Sang Yan doesn’t eat candy the normal way. No. He takes it from Wen Yi Fan’s mouth – with his mouth, accusing her of lying that it isn't sweet. Shy, she deflects. “Try biting it, then.” As if the sweetness was ever about the candy. (Also, Bai Jing Ting was actually struggling to bite into the hard candy. Zhang Ruo Nan might have been teasing him, knowing full well that he couldn't lol.)

Only today does Sang Yan realize Wen Yi Fan’s real dream was to dance.

Sang Yan's monologue: That day, my A Jiang had her wings brutally torn off. *Sniffles*

Sang Yan: Wen Shuang Jiang, it’s because I want to walk with you for the rest of my life that I’m telling you this. Other than switching your boyfriend, everything you want to do, I will support you. Don’t spend your days just settling. Do you understand? Our days are long. It’s never too late to do what you want.

Wen Yi Fan reassures him that being a reporter is her dream job right now.

Wen Yi Fan: Say, are you sent by my father to love me?

Sang Yan: No. I chose this myself. 我自願的. (≧◡≦) ♡

Wen Yi Fan had her wings torn off, but they're growing back For herself, and for Sang Yan :')

[Epilogue]

As Sang Yan’s "family," Wen Yi Fan accompanies him to his doctor’s check-up. Then they learn the follow-up is on October 24 – her birthday. And actually, that’s Sang Yan’s last four digits of his number (1024); he mentioned it when she picked him up after work.

[Titles]

→ Love Is

→ ...Becoming Each Other's Light

→ 愛是

→ ...成為彼此的光

[Ep30] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Wen Yi Fan's mother breaks her already shattered heart. No more. She's done with this woman. Wen Yi Fan isn't forgiving her. Her neglect isn't just the absence of love but the presence of profound cruelty.

I was already seething at this mother's first question: "That time, he didn’t do anything to you, right?" It’s not a question looking for the truth. It’s framed to protect her own selfishness. She doesn’t want to take responsibility for the daughter she abandoned, the daughter she left to rot in a world full of wounds. She only "just learned about it", but instead of exploring that, she talks about her cheating husband. PUH-LEASE. We’re done. I can’t even begin to unpack the timing of her pregnancy right after her husband's funeral. BYE.

In a way, Wen Yi Fan does answer her mother's first "question":

"Mother": That time, he didn’t do anything to you, right?

Wen Yi Fan: Treat it like I died that night. She would have, had she not picked herself up piece by piece.

That’s it. The final, irreversible period to this relationship. And now, a new beginning with someone who cherishes her like she always deserved: Sang Yan.

Did Sang Yan see the emotional destruction that Wen Yi Fan endured all these years mother? The piggyback is perfectly timed. She’s drained, utterly exhausted, and without hesitation, Sang Yan kneels down, ready to carry her. For all these years, Wen Yi Fan walked this world alone, shouldering everyone by herself, but now, she's learned to trust, to rely. All her vulnerabilities, she can give them to him, and he will always receive her. Always.

It's actually Wen Yi Fan's birthday today. This time, she takes the initiative and makes her birthday wish. She really only had one, but he's determined to spoil her.

1st wish: "If this coming summer is as long as this one, then propose to me. Is that okay?" (How do we define long? And look, he’s tearing up too, swallowing a breath to steady himself.)

2nd wish: "I hope next year's summer is just as long." (So if this summer isn't long enough, there's next year?)

3rd wish: This piggyback.

4th wish: She wants Sang Yan to smile.

"When you smile, the mole under your eye looks like an ant that can dance."

But then, Wen Yi Fan sees her mother walking away – heavy, dragging her steps, crying perhaps. Wen Yi Fan cries, too, against Sang Yan’s shoulder. Her mother physically fades from her life. Wen Yi Fan is hurt, very hurt.

Wen Yi Fan: There’s no one who loves me anymore. Except you.

Sang Yan: 我只愛你。從以前，走走走，走到現在，在走走走，走到未來. I only love you. From the past, step by step, to the present, and step by step, into the future [I will only love you]. Every mile he flew to be with her became the very testament to his love. Everything coming in full circle ~

He tells her to make another wish. She gives it to him (because what more can she ask for?)

Sang Yan (5th wish): Then I wish 除了我， 還會有許多人愛你 that besides me, there will be many others who love you.

Sang Yan is very turned on. You read that right. He wants her – wants her more than anyone can imagine – but he knows he has to share her with the world, to let her shine. But at this moment, all he wants is for her to be his. All his.

Must get her home. Stat.

Does he know though? That Wen Yi Fan only wanted to dance for him. Her kiss is also urgent, hungry, and possessive. She wants him as much as he wants her.

[Epilogue]

It’s the third-to-last episode, so we really shouldn’t be surprised that Sang Yan not only bought the cake but also had it delivered to her anonymously. Right? D:

[Titles]

→ To Rely

→ ...Is to Entrust Fragility and to Choose Your Choice Firmly

→ 依靠

→ ...是 托付脆弱 堅定選擇

This mother wastes no time (yo) to bring home another man to rely on, already occupying the same seat. However, this isn’t the kind of reliance this title is referring to. It's not about depending on someone else to fill a void, but about entrusting your weaknesses to someone you trust, while also being strong enough on your own to make that choice. The key difference is strength: the mother relies on others to avoid facing her own weaknesses, while her daughter, despite her pain, has learned to stand on her own. This is why the mother’s reliance is hollow, whereas Wen Yi Fan’s is rooted in true strength.

Windows to Wen Yi Fan! They're also tied to her father. She always sat closest to the window. Her dad always took the spot next to her. This was her place of happiness, her place of solace.

[Ep31] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Wen Yi Fan meets Sang Yan's family. Sang Zhi is thankful to Wen Yi Fan for being Sang Yan’s one and only failure in life that brought him down from his godly pedestal and made into a mortal. That's how I understood it anyway. On a serious note Wen Yi Fan is so touched she can cry. This is family, a warmth that fully embraces her, one she can finally belong to.

Even spending one night apart in his parents’ home is unbearable. They part with kisses, after kisses, after kisses. (Unfortunately, Wen Yi Fan still doesn’t learn Sang Yan’s little name, but she does gain something else: a special way of calling him. A Yan. Which turns him on again, by the way.)

A Yan doesn't want her to go ~

(Back in Ep5, Wen Yi Fan lost a game and had to compliment everyone. She meant to call Sang Yan cold and narcissistic, but quickly twisted it into calm and self-confident. His self-confidence has never changed. But from cold Sang Yan is now 熱烈 – burning, like light. He’s changed, but that change is also within her. She allows herself to embrace this light now. He is the best and she deserves the best.)

Moving out! Moving forward. Wen Yi Fan doesn’t have enough boxes for her belongings. The significance: back in HK, Sang Yan noticed how little she owned, as if she never planned on staying anywhere long. But look at her now. Packing box after box. He offers his, and then she finally finds it – the tin box. All these years, he’s been stalking tenderly observing, never crossing a line. Instantly, Wen Yi Fan cries. Sang Yan, always quick to ease the air, teases her for it. "You cry way more after being with me." Notice my puffy eyes too, Sang Yan.

Wen Yi Fan blames herself. She should have run to him when she thought she saw him at her graduation. Sang Yan pulls her into his lap, reassuring her that it's behind them. But now she's looking guilty. There’s something else she wronged him. Hesitant, she confesses she took advantage of him. He raises a brow, teasing her that she does that on a daily basis. LOL. No....you see, this was before they were together. She pretended to sleepwalk so that she could hug him. "Take it as me exercising my rights in advance." Sang Yan eyes are starting to well with tears. Again! He's so happy she did that xD. That she learned everything about him. That she even learned his shamelessness, lol. 

Wen Yi Fan: "Sang Yan, I want to live six more years than you." That's Wen Yi Fan's resolution so that she can love him for six more years, making up for the years he loved her alone.

Sang Yan: "這輩子我還想多活幾年 In this lifetime, I actually want to be alive a little longer." LOL. "Repay it next life, okay? Next life, you love me first for six years then I will let you become like me right now. 得願以償 Wishes fulfilled." What a beautiful segue into promising each other their next lives too.

They're both crying in each other's shoulders. It's a promise. Which is also their CP name: 一言為定 –– 以延為定 Yi Yan Wei Ding.

New home! The passcode: 15/09/01. It's the day they met and the day they fell in love. Almost 10 years. (If you go back to Ep2, you’ll see Wen Yi Fan peeking at Sang Yan, following his steps to their desks, and sneaking another glance when he’s beside her.) To make her feel at home, Sang Yan kept the same furniture. And by the way, renovations have been done since last year..... Anyway! He lets her choose her room since he's not picky. Kitchen? Washroom? She questions him if he's sleeping in the same room, implying that they're not married yet. Sang Yan leans in, teasing her, "I'm also exercising my rights in advance." Since Day 1.

Full circle. The passcode to their forever home is the day they met – the day their first love began, the day that would lead to forever. Then on the wall is a picture of the Ferris wheel, their blessing for forever. 

[Epilogue]

The lost-and-found box marks the end of them losing each other. It’s the beginning of them finding each other. He held back from stepping into her sight, but when she came to him, barriers dissolved...

[Titles] 

→ Back to the Day We Met

→ Loving You, From First Day to Every Day Ahead

→ 回到相遇的第1天

→ 愛你，從相遇第一天到未來每一天

From First Day

To Every Day

The timer.  Do you notice it changes? Even its first and last appearance carries meaning. 

• Ep4 marks its debut (Day 3063), the day they officially cohabit under a contract.
• Ep31 marks its finale (Day 4177) and it's this episode they officially move into their forever home. 
• Day 3063 lands on January 19, 2024 – fitting, since he moved in not long after his birthday.
• Day 4177 lands on February 6, 2027 – sound, since CNY falls on that day in 2027.

↑Ep4, Ep31↓

[Ep32] [Jump to: Top | Comments]

Remarks

[Cast&Crew]

The First Frost is in the same world as Hidden Love by Zhu Yi. There’s no need to watch HL first. They’re standalone stories about the Sang siblings. Hidden Love was about the sister and The First Frost is about the brother. Although it’s the same production company (WAJIJIWA), none of the HL cast will be here.

Qu You Ning is the Taiwanese director of the mega hit It Started With a Kiss (which probably doesn't stand against time). It doesn't look like he has many popular romances in recent years. He has filmed a BL movie starring Chen Hao Sen (who's in this drama). (Therefore, I don't know what to expect from this director.)

A Who's the Murderer (variety show) reunion! He Jiong acts as Bai Jing Ting's teacher. It was the director who wrote a 3-page letter that moved He Jiong into accepting the role despite his busy, busy schedule.

This is Zhang Miao Yi's second Zhu Yi drama (When I Fly Towards You).

Wrapped on June 27, 2024

[Ending]

[A Highlight]

[Review & Rating]

Rating: /5

Recommendations

Genre List:

Contemporary Romance Central

Suppressed	2nd Chance	BJT's Buddies
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