My Liberation Notes | Recap and Review

A story about three siblings and a stranger (heartthrob)  
Notable Actors/Actresses

Kim Ji-Won: Yeom Mi-Jeong

Lee Min-Ki: Yeom Chang-Hee

Son Suk-Ku: Mr. Gu / Gu Ja-Gyeong

Lee El: Yeom Gi-Jeong
Korean Title
나의 해방일지

My Liberation Diary

Network: jTBC

Year: 2022
Episodes: 16

Recap Grade: A/B
First Impression: 4/5

Jump to Review | Jump to Rewatch Section

Mini Recaps

[Ep1] It’s a depressing start for our Yeom siblings: Gi-Jeong feels awful after she indirectly offends a single dad (and his daughter); Chang-Hee breaks up with his girlfriend; Mi-Jeong’s ex-boyfriend took out a large loan in her name and now she has to pay it all back or she will be a delinquent borrower. 

Something Good Will Happen to You Today

The Yeom siblings live in Sanpo. The commute is treacherously long, but on this commute, Mi Jeong sees a billboard that makes her smile: “Something good will happen to you today.” I find her smile particularly beautiful. It’s different from the smiles she gives her coworkers. It’s serene and wistful. Then when work is tough, she motivates herself like this: 

Mi-Jeong’s voiceover: I’m playing the role of a woman who is loved. A woman who has everything she needs. Right now, I love someone and that someone is supporting me. So I want to imagine I’m at peace, that I’m already enjoying the good times that I’ll be spending with you. Rather than going through exhausting, difficult times without you, isn’t it more admirable that I’m finding strength thinking of you?

Mi-Jeong voiceover: If we had lived in Seoul No matter where I live, I think I would be the same. Regardless where I live, I will be like this. I’d be living the same mundane life. And no one would ever be interested in me. I felt like if I lived like this for too long, I’d shrivel up and die. That’s why I invented you. You, who I’ll meet someday. To you, at least, I wouldn’t be that ordinary, right? I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know where you are and I’ve never met you. Who are you?

Falling in Love with ‘Anyone’

At night, Gi-Jeong exclaims that she’s sick of being alone. She’s determined to fall in love with anyone before the winter comes. She urges her sister to do the same. Then Chang-Hee notices Mr. Gu walking by and mutters, “There’s “anyone” over there. Oh Du-Hwan (a friend) shouts to Mr. Gu to quickly duck before Gi-Jeong falls in love with him. Ah, but it's Mi-Jeong who set her eyes on him though ~. He’s the man who will find Mi-Jeong extraordinary. 

The next day, Mi-Jeong breaks her routine. She doesn’t directly take her bus in the morning, but runs to find Mr. Gu. She asks him to receive her mail because she doesn’t want her family to know she owes money. Afterwards, they walk their separate paths. Mi-Jeong’s steps are light. When she catches her yellow bus, she sits in her seat with a small, serene smile. He’s helping her~ 

Something good did happen to Mi-Jeong yesterday: she picked Mr. Gu to be her ‘anyone’. And something good happens today too. He agreed to help.

[Ep2] Mr. Gu ran back home to help receive Mi-Jeong’s ‘Notice of Delinquency’. Such a simple scene of him running, and I felt my heart throb. This guy seems like the type to die in the heat then turn on the fan that’s a finger away. And yet this guy ran. For her.  

It’s Because You Look For Someone Who’s Worth 80 Points 

Gi-Jeong complains about her manager (Park Jin-U). He’s dating another girl at work. But it’s the girls she doesn’t understand more. Why belittle themselves and become another one of his girls? 

Chang-Hee (snaps at her): You don’t have to get it! It’s you who I don’t get. They’re fine having a casual fling. How is it any of your business? And how is that belittling? [...] Does everyone need to be like you and only ever love one person [...]? They live in a different world from yours. So just leave them to enjoy themselves. They’re all happy and having a blast. They don’t care what others think. You can bad-mouth them, but they just don’t care at all. 

Gi-Jeong exclaims: “Why hasn’t he asked me out! He dates everyone, so why did he skip me?” LOL. This just proves that girls who bad-mouth other girls are just jealous. Hahaha. Don’t mind me. I’m just laughing at my own kind. Gi-Jeong whines that she’s at least top ten at work. Chang-Hee asks if there are even 20 women in her office. She swerves away from the question to another point. Chang-Hee is exasperated, “See. When I hit her with facts, she just ignores me and keeps going. You should’ve become a politician.” Hahaha. Other than Chang-Hee, there’s someone else to wake up our hopeless Gi-Jeong from her delusions about love. It’s Ji Hyeon-A, the birthday girl today. 

Hyeon-A: It’s because you look for someone who’s worth 80 points. And even if you find him, you grill him about the 20 points he lacks. [...] I go out with guys who are worth 20 points because I like them. What’s wrong with 20 points? That’s 20 points above zero. If I get lucky and meet someone who’s worth 30 points, I’m grateful. And if he’s 40 points, then I’ve hit the jackpot! [...] I mean, I’d understand if you’re worth 80 points yourself. Do you want me to be honest and tell you how many points you’re worth? Should I be brutally frank? [...] I’m just saying you could use a little self-awareness. [...]

Mi-Jeong admires Hyeon-A for the lecture she gave her sister, and the way she saved Chang-Hee’s bleeding ears from the hour long phone call with a store manager. Mi-Jeong wishes in her next life that she could be like Hyeon-A. No need for next life. Mi-Jeong will rescue someone this life ~

Worship Me 

Mi-Jeong is unbearably exhausted. 

Mi-Jeong (to herself): I’m exhausted. I don’t know when it all started to go wrong, but I’m exhausted. Every relationship feels like work. Every moment that I”m awake feels like work. Nothing ever happens. No one ever likes me.

In the past two days her friends have planned a trip without her, her manager degrades her work, and her ex, who made her go in debt, ran off with his previous girlfriend. And then (as if to comfort her) she finds someone worse than her: Mr. Gu. He was drunk, tripped, and injured himself, and was probably too drunk to realize he was hurt until Dad Yeom found him. The next evening, instead of walking her normal route home, she turns up at Mr. Gu's, asking him why he drinks everyday. Is there nothing else to do? 

Mi-Jeong (morosely): Should I give you something to do? Worship me. LOL. I’ve never once felt whole*. One asshole after another, every guy I’ve ever dated is an asshole. So worship me and make me whole. It’ll be winter soon. Nothing strives when winter comes. There will be nothing to see sitting there and nothing to work at the factory. If you drink all day, you’ll only feel like crap. You have to do something. [And] I want to feel whole for once. So worship me. Love isn’t enough. Worship me. *‘Whole’ sounds smoother and I will stick to using this term, but I want to emphasize the meaning. Perhaps it’s just my understanding of the term ‘whole’, I relate it to a circle (flat), but how I understand Mi-Jeong is that she views herself as hollow like a cylinder. Instead of ‘whole’, I prefer “satiated” or “full”. I watched it with Chinese subtitles and sometimes I find Chinese is the better language to understand Korean dramas because of the similarities. 填滿 was the translated term. She wants him not only to to fill, but to “cram” 填滿 her with “reverence” so that she can feel fully alive.

Back at home, Mr. Gu searches up the definition of worship. Then Mr. Gu looks up (to worship? LOL) and drops his head back down. Hahahaha! Mr. Gu. is worth 10 points at least, right? 

I Am an Asshole Too

[Ep3] I love the awkwardness in the morning. Mr Gu peeks at Mi-Jeong through the rearview mirror. There was more to the conversation last night. Mr. Gu had questioned her if she even knew anything about him, like his name. He underscores that he doesn’t want to do anything with his life, absolutely nothing, and orders her to get her money back from the guy and get her problem over with. 

Mi-Jeong: Once that asshole pays me back, will my life be fine? I think it will still be the same. I’ve never once felt whole in this crappy life with these crappy people, acting like they’re all so great, talking away so thoughtlessly. 

Mr. Gu: Sorry, (but) I am an asshole too. 

The next night, this asshole protects her from real assholes. There are hooligans hanging around the countryside in the middle of the night. Mi-Jeong is nervous as she walks by. But then she hears the sound of bottles clinking from behind her. Her shoulders relax. She knows Mr. Gu is behind her. He kneed his bag on purpose ~ When the hooligans leave, Mr. Gu is gone. Mi-Jeong begrudgingly throws her rock back down to the ground. She had wanted to hit the asshole (Mr. Gu) with the rock, lol. 

But hey, this asshole would also fly over to his cupboard to protect Mi-Jeong’s letter from being seen by Chang-Hee. Because he moves so little, when he does move, my heart races.

Gi-Jeong confronts her (asshole) manager on why he never gave her a lottery ticket when he gives one to every other girl. He’s not really an asshole. He gives her very real and insightful advice (e.g. Men’s tastes don’t change; they always date ones who look like their ex; those who have experience know their type, those who don’t can only theorize a passionate romance.). 

The assholes in Mi-Jeong’s life all had the same look, a look that said she wasn’t good enough. Girls don’t change either? It makes her feel insignificant. It makes her sick and exhausted. “We just get into repetitive relationships to find something to love about ourselves only to come out to learn how unattractive we are. Where should we look for answers?” The subway arrives. Mi-Jeong sees her own reflection. Alas, the answer is within herself. As she stares at herself, she remembers more of what Mr. Gu said to her. 

Mr. Gu: What about you? Have you ever made anyone feel whole? 

I Want to Be Liberated

At work, Mi-Jeong, Cho Tae-Hun, and Park Sang-Min form their own club: Liberation Club. It was Mi-Jeong’s idea. 

Mi-Jeong: I want to be liberated. I don’t where I’m trapped but I feel trapped. I feel cramped and stifled. I want to break free. The beginning of change that starts from within. 

On the weekends, during farming, Mi-Jeong drops another bomb on Mr. Gu. 

Mi-Jeong: Do you want me to worship you? It seems like you’ve never felt whole too. Let me know if you want me too. LOL. She's so cool. Meosisseoyo!

At night, Mr. Gu is so confused. LMAO. Such a cute gruff. The next morning, they pass by each other again. Mi-Jeong stops him from leaving. “Let’s greet each other from now on.” He opens his mouth void of sound. Instead he’s nodding his head (is that a yes?) and then he tells her that the bus is coming. “Run.” She’s a little taken aback that he’s actually replying (or nodding?). He repeats again, louder, “Run.” Mi-Jeong runs. On the bus, a refreshing breeze blows her hair. She’s breathless. From the run or the butterflies in her stomach?

It’s Scary When Mi-Jeong Loses It

[Ep4] Mr. Gu learns from Mom Yeom that Mi-Jeong was unlike her siblings. Every day after school, she’d always go to the woodwork factory first. Mom Yeom is certain Mi-Jeong liked it. Mr. Gu is attentively listening and staring at her picture on the wall. Mi-Jeong is very self-conscious. 

When the older siblings argue over nothing, Gi-Jeong throws a slipper at Chang-Hee, but misses and it hits Mi-Jeong squarely on the head. Everyone is frozen as Mi-Jeong slowly picks up the slipper. The eerie silence makes Mr. Gu turn around. He watches her pace towards the door and in one motion, she hurls the slipper out the door. That’s Chang-Hee’s slipper and it wasn't even him who threw it at her. LOL. Mi-Jeong walks back to her seat, but stands there awkwardly. She forgot she already finished eating. Mr. Gu is at the table and there’s a small amused smile peeping through. :D

Chang-Hee warns Mr. Gu to beware of Mi-Jeong. She has a scary temper. She’s not the type to fight, but when she loses it, yikes, she doesn’t think about the consequences. She could kick him off the cliff. Hahahaha. I like how Mr. Gu gets to learn about Mi-Jeong from the family. Then Chang-Hee asks Mr. Gu how he arrived at Sanpo. Apparently, he got off at the wrong stop. 

One night, Mi-Jeong asks Mr. Gu why he’s moody. One minute he’s hot and the next, he’s cold. He doesn’t answer her. Instead, he lectures her, “You two are the same. You and your father.” Other people owe them money, but neither have the guts to get it back. Mi-Jeong is resistant to his criticism. Taking things to the extreme with people she knows is hard for her (and her father). 

Mr. Gu: To each their own then. I don’t intend to change and neither do you. 

I Want to Shave Off My Hair, All of It

Gi-Jeong feels stressed out and tired. Her manager takes her through a breathing exercise. After the last exhale, he asks how she feels. 

Gi-Jeong: I want to shave off my hair. All of it. Hahaha. My hair has never made me look any better but I hold onto it as if it’s a symbol of my femininity. I wash it and blow-dry it every morning until my arms are tired. It feels like I’ve been struggling over something meaningless all my life. If I shave it off, I won’t have any more false hopes and it'll make me feel lighter. If I shave my head, will you fire me? LOL. 

But it looks like Gi-Jeong won’t be shaving her hair. She falls in love with Cho Tae-Hun and gives him all ten of her (hard-earned) lottery tickets from her manager. Even though he’s a single father with sisters who are bullies (and definitely scoring below 80), she can’t deny it. She’s in love.

When Spring Comes, You and I Will Become Different People

There’s a thunderstorm. Mr. Gu sits outside on the deck and lets the rain fall on him. Mi-Jeong watches the rain from indoors. 

Mi-Jeong’s voiceover: People are scared of lightning but I find them calming. The world might finally come to an end as I wished. It feels like I’m stuck but I don’t know how to get out. That’s probably why I hope everything ends all at once. I’m not unhappy, but I’m not happy either. I wouldn’t care if the world ended now. Everyone is on their way to their graves so why is everyone so happy and excited? Sometimes, I think that people who are damaged are more honest than those who live their lives happily.

Lightning strikes and then the electricity is out. It’s pitch dark. But our indifferent Mi-Jeong suddenly jumps from her seat, runs out the door in the storm and screams at Mr. Gu. She wants him inside the house. She’s worried about him. And this is coming from someone who wanted the world to end. Mr. Gu is staggered as he’s pushed inside. Then she runs back home all drenched. 

Mi-Jeong’s voiceover: I don’t know where I’m sick but I want to break free. I wish I was genuinely happy. I want to be able to say things like  ‘Yes this is life. This is what life is all about.’ I want to be able to say those things. 

The next morning, Mr. Gu’s foot is bleeding. He doesn’t remember how he injured himself. If Mi-Jeong didn’t push him inside, he really could have died outside. With his injured foot, he still helps with the farm. As they’re resting, a breeze takes Mi-Jeong’s hat flying. It lands all the way across the railway. Mr. Gu wedges his heels into his sneakers. “Wait here.” His foot is injured tho. Chang-Hee was going to accompany Mr. Gu, but he’s not headed to the bridge. He’s backing up and recalling Mi-Jeong’s words: 

Worship me so that when spring comes, you and I will become different people.

Ready, set, FLY! 

Mr. Gu long jumps over the impossible length, extends his leg, hurls his body forward and sticks his landing on the other side. PERFECT. Mom Yeom gulps. I’m laughing so hard. 

Mr. Gu: Are you sure that you and I will become different people when spring comes? 

Mi-Jeong: I’m positive. 

Mr. Gu: How do you worship someone? 

Mi-Jeong: You cheer them on. You tell them that they can do anything and that everything is possible. 

This episode, Mi-Jeong is breaking free and Mr. Gu is flying. They can do anything and everything is possible. 

[Ep5] After that miraculous high jump, Chang-Hee incessantly asks Mr. Gu if he’s a national athlete of some sort. He’s so inspired, he attempts to fly like Mr. Gu. He backs up, runs, and squeaks to a halt. LOL. He shakes his head. Can’t do it. 

I’m Just Happy When You Smile, and When You Cry, I Wonder What Happened 

Mom Yeom lectures the boys (Chang-Hee, Oh Du-Hwan, Suk Jung-Hoon).

Mom Yeom: When the time is right, you’re supposed to meet your life partner, get married, have kids, and watch them grow up. How come so many kids these days refuse to do that and just grow old all alone? Try having a kid! You’ll feel full without eating. Everyday will be amazing. You’ll be invincible. No one can beat you. No one can beat parents. But you don’t know anything about that. Goodness gracious. 

Chang-Hee (argues): After you had us, you enjoyed two or three years of joy and delight, then your life got miserable. Do you really want to pass that kind of life to us? And if we want to feel joyful at all times, must we have kids until we’re 80? Until we die? LOL. 

Mom Yeom is exasperated at her son’s sophistry, but when she stares at his younger pictures on the wall, Mom Yeom smiles again. “You may have gotten bigger and taller, but you’re still you. Right? I don’t expect anything from you. I’m just happy when you smile and when you cry, I wonder what happened.” And then she hears her son running his mouth again. She sighs and chants to herself “Just his size has changed.” In a later scene, we learn that Chang-Hee has a girl he likes who likes him back, but he’d rather not start a relationship because he can’t offer her a life she wants (marriage, kids, etc.). It’s a dilemma he will always face. Aw. He’s so bitter.. If Mom Yeom knew his real thoughts, I think her heart may break. Maybe that’s why Chang-Hee preferred angering her. 

I Want to Try to Live Differently

After that high jump, Mr. Gu is aloof again. Mi-Jeong recites to herself: “I am a great person. I won’t ask to be loved.” And so when she’s on an errand for her father, she buys some soju for Mr. Gu too. In a condescending tone, he asks, “Do you even have money?” She dryly replies that she can still afford soju. But he repeats: “Are you sure?” So annoying! But he meant to ask: “Are you sure that you and I will become different people come spring time. You said I would if I worshipped you” It’s happening!!! Mi-Jeong calmly replies that from her experience, people change once they do something they’ve never done before. He nods and heads back home. She asks him if he’s decided on it. Mr. Gu looks over his shoulder as he replies, “I already started. Earlier today.” 

The next day, Mr. Gu stares at his sink. He’s ready to clean! He turns on the tap, and then right off. Nope. Nevermind. Change doesn’t happen overnight, lol. Then he tries to recycle his bottles, but just staring at them gives him a headache. Haha. Off to buy more soju! When he exits, he sees Mi-Jeong. And now he’s grumpy. Could he be upset that he did not change for the better yet? Lol. 

Mr. Gu asks Dad Yeom for Mi-Jeong’s number. YES! I know why he asked for her number. Last night he bought ice cream for her, stood outside her door, and didn’t know how to call her out :D He texts her, “I got some money.” And then, “Is there anything you want to eat?” And finally, “It’s me. Gu.” When Mi-Jeong is off work, he’s at the subway, waiting to take her out for food. Aw. We get a voiceover of the conversation she had with her Liberation Club members. 

Mi-Jeong: If I think about it, the people who I thought I liked all have things that make me uncomfortable – things that I find disappointing, things that I hate, things that I’m jealous of. They all have things that make me unhappy. I seem to be getting along well with people, but in truth, there’s not a single person I truly like. I wonder if that’s why I’m being unconsciously drained. I wonder if that’s why I always feel alone as if I’ve been abandoned. 

Park Sang-Min: Is this even possible? It’s not even easy to truly like your own kid. LMAO. When he explains it like that.

Mi-Jeong: I’ve decided to try and find someone like that. Mr. Gu. Even if the other person blows hot and cold (Mr. Gu), I won’t let myself sway. I’m just going to keep liking them. Wouldn’t that be better than dealing with people without any meaning? I want to try to live differently. 

Mi-Jeong has dinner with Mr. Gu, the person she wants to truly love. They eat in a comfortable silence. These two don’t need to be having a conversation to be at ease with each other. Mr. Gu asks her why she doesn’t have anyone she likes. What about her family? 

Mi-Jeong: I don’t love everything about my mom and dad. I dislike my brother and sister a lot. My father is pitiful. I feel sorry for my dad. I don’t think he’s ever been happy. And I think my mom thinks she’s unhappy because of her kids. So I say this when something bad happens. ‘It’s fine as long as Mom doesn’t find out.’ This is her reason she doesn’t tell her family about her debt, especially her mother.  

He tells her to try making white lies like “You’re pretty” or “You’re cool”. Mi-Jeong thinks that once words are spoken, it’s the truth. She tells him to try it – to say anything. He looks at her, opens his mouth, stops and stares, inhales, and stops again. He can’t say it. LOL. He can’t say “You’re pretty.”. Because it’s not a lie? Because he’s shy? Then Gi-Jeong gets off the bus and sees our worshipping couple walking side by side. Very (in)conspicuously, they separate. 

[Ep6] Our worshipping couple is going strong! Mr. Gu drives Mi-Jeong to the station with Dad Yeom in the truck. Lol. I wonder if Dad can tell. On the train, Mi-Jeong sends him a picture of the billboard: “Something Good Will Happen to You Today.” It’s the words that make her happy and so she sent him a little bit of her happiness. Ah but someone angered Mr. Gu today: Chang-Hee decided to exert his goodwill upon Mr. Gu by recycling his soju bottle collection, but Mr. Gu doesn’t like people cleaning his shit. And so when he reads Mi-Jeong’s message (Something Good Will Happen to You Today), he leaves her on “read". He doesn’t reply, but surely he feels a wee bit better, right? And of all the unread messages, he read hers. 

I’m Like A Cowherd, Step by Step, Trudging Forward

The girls drink. Mi-Jeong shares how she wanted her ex to be successful, but not too much in case he’d leave her. When her ex’s business failed, she was extra caring, but she knew he could sense her relief. She never gave her all to someone or received everything from another. Mi-Jeong is determined to be different now. 

Mi-Jeong: If my partner finds success, I’ll gladly let him go. Even if he hits rock bottom, I won’t be embarrassed because of him. Even if everyone points their fingers at him, I’ll treat him as I always did, and just support him.

And so even if Mr. Gu isn’t replying to her, she texts him that she’ll be home late because she’s drinking with the girls. 

Mi-Jeong: I can’t help but wait for you to text me back, but I won’t let it get to me and do the same to get even with you. I’ve always tried to silently get even with my ex-boyfriends. I’m done with it. – Mr. Gu receives the message and smiles? – I love that I don’t have to measure your affection. All I need to do is worship you. I love it. 

Mi-Jeong is mad at Chang-Hee for cleaning Mr. Gu’s room too. No one asked him to do it. “It’s arrogant how you’re trying to change his life.” They caught him having all that alcohol. Chang-Hee retorts. It's not like nobody knows he’s an alcoholic. Mi-Jeong gives up. It’s not about the facts. They exposed him and his problem is out in the open. She visits Mr. Gu at night. She gives him comfort as she describes how she survives each day. Within 24 hours a day, there’s only 1 or 2 hours she feels okay.  

Mi-Jeong: I’m like a cowherd. Step by step, trudging forward (with difficulty), telling myself ‘Let’s keep going’. Although I haven’t found a reason I must live, but since I’m alive, I should at least live decently. That’s how I barely manage to drag myself through each day.

Mr. Gu listens attentively to each and every word. He resonates with her. And of all things he could be curious about, he asks if she has seen a cowherd before. And then he gets up to finally give her the ice cream he bought the other day. Mi-Jeong smiles as she licks the sweet dessert. 

The next day, Mr. Gu properly cleans! He recycles his bottles. When he checks his phone, there’s another picture message from Mi-Jeong from the night before. It’s a picture of his home with lights on. She texts, “I wonder what the man living there was doing at that time.” He replies to her! “Drinking, of course.” Mi-Jeong instantly replies: “I’m as happy as when I get my paycheck whenever you message me.” Worshipping :D Mi-Jeong wasn’t kidding that she was happy. She initiates a conversation with her colleague who’s surprised at Mi-Jeong who has never been so proactive. Even Han Su-Jin is curiously peeking over.  

Mr. Gu also sends picture messages to Mi-Jeong. It’s proof shots that he cleaned!! He asks what he should do now. She replies, “Drink”. He laughs. From a psychological perspective, I think her reply was insightful. She turned “drinking” into a reward instead of focusing on his obvious drinking problem. After work, Mi-Jeong finds him waiting at the subway station. They take the bus home in separate single seats. Oh, and he also bought a sweeper!! Woah, slow down! xD  

Over drinks, it’s Mr. Gu’s turn to talk tonight. He says he worked like a cowherd today to clean his room. For an entire winter, he locked himself in that room and drank. There were bottles in the middle when he tried to sleep. He could have just pushed them aside but he couldn’t even be bothered with it so he curled himself like he was incubating them. He felt completely hopeless. Cleaning that room was something he thought would take forever (but it didn’t!). He wonders if he can sleep better now. He’s opening up his dark moments with her because he’s comfortable with her. 

Mi-Jeong: I’m not going to ask you what happened. I won’t ask you where you’re from or why you moved here and keep drinking your days away. It doesn’t matter if you know your Hangul or your ABCs. I won’t tell you to stop drinking either. I also won’t cling onto you. I’ll be done once I’m whole (satiated). 

Mr. Gu (laughs): (You’re) pretty cool – He pours himself a drink – I just worshiped you. 

Mi-Jeong: Why don’t you keep going at it a bit more? That was a bit weak. She’s seducing me too! 

Mr. Gu laughs. 

The next day, Chang-Hee jumps across the railroad tracks! Let’s spread those wings! And he belly-flops onto the hard ground. Mi-Jeong yells at Chang-Hee. Meanwhile, Mr. Gu is silently worshipping Mi-Jeong. That smile! Oh but someone is phoning him and texting him: “Gu Ja-Gyeong. Pick up your phone.” 

In this episode, I feel like Mr. Gu truly fell in love with Mi-Jeong. She gets him. Through her accompaniment, he found something good that makes him happy, something else other than alcohol. 

Finding My Own Tempo

[Ep7] Mi-Jeong doesn’t get why liking someone would make their heart accelerate.

Mi-Jeong: It’s not that I’ve never liked anyone that much. Well, I’ve never really liked someone that much. Anyway, my heart only pounds when something bad happens, when I’m embarrassed, when I’m angry, before a 100m sprint. It was always for bad things. My heart never beat fast because I liked someone. When I really like someone,  I think the opposite happens. My heart beats slower, like I’ve been freed from something. Like I feel peace in my heart for the first time. I guess I’m just weird.

The Liberation Club has a meeting. The members share their goals. Park Sang-Min thinks the liberation he needs is finding his own tempo instead of being chased by time. As for Cho Tae-Hun, he wants to stop feeling weak for the sake of his daughter. When he lost his father, it was like he lost an arm, someone to support him. When he lost his mother, it was like he lost both arms. He doesn’t want his daughter to feel like that. 

Mi-Jeong pays back her ex's debt by making an early withdrawal from her investments. Later Mr. Gu asks if he needs to sort it out for her. He only needs the ex's name and number. She’s silent. (She did try to call her ex, but he’s not in Korea and he got angry at her for asking money). Mr. Gu thinks she still likes her ex, which Mi-Jeong stays silent at. She stalks off, but storms right back. Mr. Gu looks up at her. “You’re scaring me.” Mi-Jeong rants to him. She doesn’t like how he’s making her feel bad. She is that type of person to be fooled by men. She doesn’t want her parents to know. She doesn’t understand why there are people helping women divorce. “Even if I look like an idiot, just leave me be. Don’t try to help me unless I ask you! People like me can’t see things to an end the way you want. Even fighting with someone is hard for me. So how can you expect me to fight him to the end?” 

Mr. Gu (with eyes darting around): You don’t seem to have a problem fighting with me. 

Mi-Jeong: Because you like me. Wow. You can do anything in front of someone who likes you – Mr. Gu’s eyes dart around some more and gulps – So you should worship an idiot like me so I can be confident that I might even come to love myself and be able to tell that bastard everything I want to say. I want you to turn me into that person – someone who doesn’t worry about other people knowing and someone who doesn’t care what others think. So worship me. Mi-Jeong has her own tempo. She doesn’t want Mr. Gu to help her just as he didn’t want Chang-Hee’s ‘kindness’. Although Mi-Jeong is slow, and stubborn, she is taking her steps forward. As long as she keeps taking those steps, the tempo doesn’t matter. 

Mr. Gu turns off the stove, sets down the chopsticks and tells her to eat the ramen he just made.

Mr. Gu (with a small smirk): This is me worshiping you. Come eat. 

Mi-Jeong sits down and demands for water. 

Mr. Gu stifles a laughter and obeys her. 

Mr. Gu: You’ll be surprised if you find out what kind of person I am, you know? – Mi Jeong looks up – I’m a scary person. I won’t even blink if I was stabbed in the stomach. But you scare me. Because you care :D. I get nervous when I’m in front of you. And that annoys me because it makes me feel like an idiot. But even though it annoys me, I still wait for you. You should know. Yeom Mi-Jeong, you should know who you are. 

Mi-Jeong (cooly): You should keep going. I like it. I said I had a crush on her, right? 

Mr. Gu looks away, amused. 

The next morning, Mr. Gu drives Mi-Jeong to the station. Gi-Jeong runs to catch them. She wants a lift too! And doesn’t mind third-wheeling. Chang-Hee doesn’t get the lift because he’s distracted, playing on his phone. LOL! When he arrives at the station, he doesn’t get how his sisters are here before him when he left the house the earliest. Gi-Jeong replies, “Her boyfriend gave us a ride.” It takes him a second to register it. “It can’t be!” It can be! 

He Has No Shell

[Ep8] Mi-Jeong’s colleagues want details on her boyfriend. 

Mi-Jeong explains: He has no shell. You know, there are people who are very polite, but it feels like it’s just their shell, a shell so hard that it feels like you’ll never be able to reach the person inside. But this man has no shell. 

Mi-Jeong Is a Woman Who is Loved Worshipped

Mi-Jeong isn’t home for dinner yet. She’s still at work. Mr. Gu is looking at his phone, waiting for a message, anything, but there’s nothing. Lol so cute. With nothing to do, he drinks. Aw, so he wasn’t drinking when he was waiting for her text. She’s his booze, but so much more healthier and worthy of reverence.  

Mi-Jeong is at a coffee store to finish her card design proposal. We’re reminded of her monologue in Ep1: “I’m playing the role of a woman who is loved [...] Rather than going through exhausting, difficult times without you, isn’t it more admirable that I’m finding strength thinking of you.” Her imagination comes true! Mr. Gu missed her so much, he went to find her! He orders soju and lets her work. 

Mr. Gu is Man Who is Loved Worshipped

Mi-Jeong gets off work early (because of her scummy Manager). But she’s happy she gets to spend the day with Mr. Gu. He’s at the convenience store and doesn’t buy alcohol for once! She bumps into him at the doors. She’s casual as she says, “I was so happy, I almost hugged you.” Mr. Gu picks up his pace. He’s shy! Mi-Jeong runs up to catch him and now they’re strolling. She tells him of her crazy friend (Hyeon-A). She doesn’t think they would like each other. She hesitates in telling him why. He notices that she always hesitates when something is difficult to say. He picked up her habit! But honestly, who doesn’t hesitate? Mi-Jeong explains it’s because they’re too similar. Both are tough, wild, and transparent. 

Mr. Gu (laughs): You’re crazy.

Mi-Jeong: You are transparent. 

Mr. Gu (with scepticism): Are you worshipping me right now? 

Mi-Jeong: Mm. 

Rejection: Life Is a Series of Embarrassment

Oh Du-Hwan wants a national day for people to confess with proper rules on how to politely reject. Chang-Hee disagrees, “Everyone confesses their feelings, gets rejected, and gets hurt. Don’t drag the country into this. [...] You cannot expect the country to look after your faint heart too.” LOL. Oh Du-Hwan doesn’t get rejections. “You’re telling people you like them, not hate them. What’s wrong with it? [Why reject?]” Hahaha. He's so scared of rejections, he shares his plan for when(ever) he confesses to the principal’s daughter (a teacher). If he is rejected, he wants Chang-Hee to hit him with a motorbike and then he can pretend to be amnesic and forget the humiliation. Chang-Hee shakes his head at the ridiculous idea. 

But Gi-Jeong volunteers to be the guinea pig!! Gi-Jeong texts Chang-Hee the plan. He leaves the group chat. LOL. But he’s a good brother! He does it for his sister and so after she’s ‘rejected’ by Cho Tae-Hun, the siblings begin their scheme, but Gi-Jeong is really affected by the rejection and actually falls and fractures her arm. Bwahaha. Oh and Cho Tae-Hun didn’t quite reject her. It’s more like he doesn’t know how to react. She forgets the amnesic part of their plan. Back at home, while Gi-Jeong is crying, Chang-Hee and Du-Hwan are laughing so much, it must hurt their stomach.

Chang-Hee philosophy: If you’re embarrassed, just be embarrassed. Life is a series of embarrassments anyway. It’s embarrassing from the moment you’re born. [For example,] we're born naked. 

Gi-Jeong isn’t the only Yeom sibling rejected: Chang-Hee’s promotion to product development team is denied. Aw. At least there’s a rainbow after the rain.  

There’s two philosophies on ‘Rejection’ in this episode. Accept it like Chang-Hee or don’t expect anything in return like Mi-Jeong and just worship. 

When I’m 90, This Will Be My Younger Self

Mr. Gu and Mi-Jeong are watching the rainbow together at the steps she took the picture at!. She sometimes has these thoughts that when he’s three, seven, or nineteen years old, she could go back to her younger self and accompany him.  

Mr. Gu: You’re doing that now. When I’m 90, this will be my younger self. Mr. Gu is smooth! Is this a promise to be together until 90? 

There’s another subtle layer to this scene. Mr. Gu is accompanying both the current Mi-Jeong and the younger Mi-Jeong from the picture. 

[Ep9] Mr. Gu and Dad Yeom deliver wooden shelves to a daycare centre. He finds the physical sign that Mi-Jeong passes by every morning (“Something good will happen to you today” ). I like how in the vast city, they find traces of each other.

Mr. Gu’s Affliction with Death

At night, Mr. Gu walks Mi-Jeong home. He’s such a gentleman, taking the side of the road where there’s something dead on the ground. It looks like a bird. Mi-Jeong isn’t scared though. She’s scarier. She hopes someone would flip it down. “You see dead bodies like this every morning in a neighbourhood like this. The head of a rat left behind by a weasel, or a squirrel that drowned in a water tank.” Mr. Gu shudders internally. She deliberately ignores his reactions and continues, “I used to see dead frogs very often [...] when a car went by – tu-tu-tu-tu – you’d hear them burst.” Mr. Gu is now disgusted as he watches Mi-Jeong sip her drink. She goes on. “The next morning you’d see frog bits all over the ground like confetti. But why do they cross the street at night? Is it too hot during the day?” I like her point of curiosity. Mr. Gu doesn’t appreciate it though LOL.  

Mi-Jeong’s voiceover: I used to not talk unless someone made me. Would anyone want to hear what I have to say? But now I just say whatever comes to my mind. It just comes out and I have this feeling I’ve never had before. Suddenly, I feel lovable. D'AW. Mr. Gu is making her whole! 

Mr. Gu, the worshipper, is revolted and utters, “Who says something like that while eating?” She continues to drink. Did anything happen? Nope.  

The next day, Mi-Jeong manages to guess Mr. Gu’s real name! How’d she do it? Why must his name either be a Ja or Bon? He doesn’t tell her she got it right. He’s tired today. Earlier, he met an old acquaintance (Mr. Baek) who seemed to have brought back his nightmares of a woman’s death. 

The next night, Mr. Gu doesn’t drink. Isn’t that odd? He looks up at Mi-Jeong and smirks at her. “You told [your parents] we were dating.” He’s happy enough that he doesn’t have to drink to feel calm. But then he tells of a woman in his past. To her, living was painful. He told her to see a therapist. He also shared a story of the suicide cliff in US where if you climbed two thirds of it, what made you want to commit suicide was no longer a reason to die anymore. And then the next day, she just jumped off and died. Mr. Gu's facetiously laughs. “Yes, I was telling her to die. It was so frustrating to see her suffer so much.” Mr. Gu offers to terminate their worshipping deal. Mi Jeong bitterly snaps, “When did I ever worship you?” She walks back home. They don’t talk anymore. 

Stories of animal’s dying are enough to bother Mr. Gu. The death of his dog made him cry his eyes out. How much did the death of his ex, a human being, affect him? 

Chang-Hee’s Self-Esteem 

Chang-Hee’s bowels are spraying stool in Mr. Gu’s expensive toilet with a bidet. For Chang-Hee, this was the best thing that happened today. He didn’t soil his underwear! He tells Mr. Gu he didn’t get his promotion and neither did his insufferable sunbae (Jeong A-Reum), which means they’ll have to face each other for another year. Mr. Gu wasn’t asking. (Chang-Hee doesn’t tell Mr. Gu why he hates her. Well, he didn’t even know why he really hated her until his friend pointed it out. If he was as rich as his sunbae, he’d hate her less. What Chang-Hee hates is that he’s poor – his physical and emotional hurdle. Chang-Hee ya, treat people.things you hate like they’re poop. After a flush, let it go! 

Flashback: How Did Mr. Gu End Up in Sanpo? 

Mr. Gu exited the subway by following the sound of a woman's voice. She was yelling at her drunk brother to get off. The next day he saw her again, and recognized her face by her voice. It’s Mi-Jeong. They walked past each other. She gives him an extra glance. 

It wasn’t the wrong stop. It was the right stop. 

You Scare Me (Because You See Right Through Me)

[Ep10] Despite being angry, Mi-Jeong’s instinctually follows Mr. Gu. He lies down on the meadows as if he’s deaf to the snarling stray dogs. Mi-Jeong dashes forward and roars at the dogs. Mr. Gu, are you swooning? Because I am. He doesn’t thank her for saving him. He wanted to be bitten. An ear. And then a leg. “Misfortunes should come in small doses. But you keep stopping them, making them grow. I’m scared every time you stop them. Now it’s gotten bigger. How bad will it be?” Mr. Gu turns around to glare at her. 

Mr. Gu: You scare me. 

Dejected, Mi-Jeong looks down at herself. The next day, Mi-Jeong drinks with Hyeon-A and asks if she’s scary. Hyeon-A says, “I guess you see right through him.” She does. He said her instincts were scary. She knew that he sought death and she stopped him. Mi-Jeong admits that he has problems. 

Hyeon-A: You can name a thousand reasons to love them, and a thousand reasons not to. Look at Chang-Hee, he hates Jeong A-Reum for wearing circle lenses, but hey, I wear them too. Wearing circle lenses could be one of the thousand reasons to love me and one of the thousand reasons to hate A-Reum. There’s no reason. You just love or hate someone because you want to. 

Mi-Jeong smiles. She’s comforted. And now she has an excuse to go to Mr. Gu’s: Chang-Hee has alcohol for her to bring to him. Although I’m sure she’d walk right up to him anyway. She asks Mr. Gu if he has anything to say to her. He’s like You sound like those dull women. Should I apologize? I don’t owe you anything. That’s how life is. You think it’s going great, but then it stabs you in the back.

Mi-Jeong: Idiot – Mr. Gu is startled  – You were ready to let a dog bite your arm off, but you can’t even hold onto a woman? Bullseye. You think it’s cool to endure pain with clenched teeth, and it’s dull to have a cute, happy life with a woman? Which is harder? [...] You treated me like a fool who couldn’t even get her money back. You’re no better. 

Mi-Jeong glares at him with her stony eyes and walks away. He’s incredulous and laughs. 

Oppa Is Counting on You, Sis!

Why is Chang-Hee suddenly so merry even with A-Reum? It started with his poop. That day when he couldn’t hold his bowels, he ran to Mr. Gu’s and in his cabinet, was a set of car keys for a Rolls-Royce! From that day on, A-Reum no longer bothered him. She was too trivial to ruin his mood. This is why he hopes Mi-Jeong and Mr.Gu can make up. And this is why he gave Mi-Jeong the alcohol to give them a chance to talk. 

Chang-Hee: Throw yourself at him!

The next morning, Mi-Jeong takes the train to work. She’s walking with so much force. Our girl is angry. She texts Mr. Gu: I told you, I don’t care if you’re a notorious criminal or even an alien. So what’s the big deal? I still think you’re okay. So let’s carry on. Let’s keep going. And then Mr. Gu heads to Seoul! He visits Mr. Baek. They look like mafias. Mr. Gu thanks Mr. Baek for stabbing him in the back in the past because it brought him back to life when he was barely alive. Then Mr. Gu adds a threat. If Mr. Baek keeps lurking around, and pissing him off, he will come back for good (which is not what Mr. Baek wants). 

Mr. Gu’s trip to Seoul isn’t over. He invites Mi-Jeong for a date! Mi-Jeong ran to meet him. She's panting. The way he purses his lips. Love his small, but obvious expressions. He’s adorably awkward as he rambles about traffic and the mean boss without making eye contact with her. Then he takes her to a self-serve dumpling restaurant. They eat in silence. This is how these two make up. I forgot they even had a ‘fight’.   

Oppa is happy that sis got Mr. Gu because now Chang-Hee can grovel to Mr. Gu to let him see his dream car. Chang-Hee just wants to know it exists. Mr. Gu sighs. “Listen I just came back from Seoul And you want me to go back?” Which means it's a yes! 

Epilogue: It’s 2022. New Years. Mr. Gu is back at the club. He’s alone on this cold winter night. All we hear is Mi-Jeong’s voiceover: “One asshole after another. every guy I’ve ever dated was an asshole.” Oh no, is Mr. Gu an asshole too? 

[Ep11] Mi-Jeong, as the girlfriend, is the only one who isn’t ecstatic that her boyfriend owns a Rolls-Royce, which Chang-Hee gets to drive now. 

Kiss

At work, Mi-Jeong claps back at her manager. On the subway home, she texts Mr. Gu that she’s hungry, her face is burning up and that she feels like she’ll collapse. Remember, she’s not the type to fight with someone else. It took a lot of courage (and anger), but after drinking and venting with Mr. Gu, Mi-Jeong is smiling. “I’ve never felt better after getting angry. It would take me two to three days to forget about it if I didn’t get angry, but if I get angry it lasts more than two days.” 

Later, Mr. Gu takes Mi-Jeong hiking up the mountain in the dark night. They reach the top. It’s chilly. Mr. Gu wraps his arms around her to keep her warm. She looks at him and he returns her gaze. They kiss. We zoom out. We zoom out!! What! When Mi-Jeong is back, she washes her hair. 

Our Desire For Beauty, Luxurious Cars, and Money

Gi-Jeong has dinner with Cho Tae-Hun. She tells him about her decision. This winter she’ll either shave off her hair (to shave off her desire for men and beauty) or fall in love will anyone. Cho Tae-Hun asks her to not shave it. He’ll be that ‘anyone’. And so Gi-Jeong has a boyfriend now! Meanwhile her manager breaks up with his girlfriend. Aw. I really prefer the manager.

Chang-Hee bumps into his ex. He offers to drive her home. I like how he mentioned it’s his hyung’s car and didn’t pretend it was his. She reminds him she lives in the opposite direction. He says it’s fine. He never gave her a ride when they were dating. He tells her that when he drives, he’s gentler. He’s calmer when he’s alone, which made him realize he was tired because of the mask he wears in front of everyone.

Hyeon-A is threatened by her boyfriend’s mother to return her son’s inheritance. Hyeon-A shouts at the woman, how could she only care about money and not about his kid who’s dying and is in fear? “I’ll give it back after he dies. Your kid is worried I won’t visit if he doesn’t give me the money. [...] He says he’s scared of dying but he doesn’t want to die holding his mother’s hand, the mother who’s crazy for money.” 

Mr. Gu’s Time Is Up

Mr. Gu finds out who’s tracking him. It’s Chairman Shin. The Boss. He wants Mr. Gu to come back. But Mr. Gu wants more time. He wants more time with Mi-Jeong. Then we cut away to another scene: Mr. Gu and Mi-Jeong sitting by the river. 

Mr. Gu (confesses): I worship you.

They both grin. (They can’t even make eye contact~ so shy)

Give Me A Name So You Can't Eat Me

[Ep12] Mi-Jeong always felt guilty whenever her family raised a goat because eventually they would eat them. Her pet goat used to love following her around, which made her feel worse. Mr. Gu’s mouth stays open. Shocked, and a little revolted, he asks, “So did you eat it? The one that liked following you around?” Not really. They swapped their goats with their neighbours. LOL. I guess that’s less disturbing. Mr. Gu is a little petrified. If it was him, he wouldn’t eat it. Mi-jeong asks, “Then do you throw them away?” Mr. Gu is taken back. “Can’t you keep raising them?” Nope. They eat too much to be raised for too long. As long as they’re not sleeping, they’re eating. “Dad got too tired to get grass for it, so we ate it.” Mr. Gu doesn’t get how she ate it when she gave it a name. She clarifies there’s no name for the ones they plan to eat. 

Mr. Gu (exhales and smiles): Hey, hurry up and give me a name, okay? – He nudges her – Give me a name so you can't eat me. LOL. So cute! 

Later, Mr. Gu’s underling is here to convince him to return. Not cute. The underling is perceptive. “You have a girl here, don’t you?” Mr. Gu doesn’t answer, but through his reaction, the underling confirms he’s right. 

So Hyang-Gi Joins

The Liberation Club has a new member: So Hyang-Gi. Her problem is she can’t stop smiling even when she isn’t happy, and even if she is happy, she’s not that happy to smile like that. It’s an automatic expression. It’s hard going to a funeral. Park Sang-Min welcomes her to the club. On top of their rule which is to not give advice or to comfort, there are three tenants: 

1. I will not pretend to be happy.
2. I will not pretend to be unhappy.
3. I will be honest (with myself). 

Mr. Gu Leaves

Mi-Jeong tells Mr. Gu about the new club member. Mi-Jeong is surprised her smile wasn’t genuine. “I guess everyone is just pretending” Mr. Gu replies, “Does anyone live without pretending?” Mi- Jeong imagines that if she didn’t have to pretend, she would have killed and eaten someone. I like how she peeked at him before saying it. But said it anyway, knowing he’d shiver.. She has this weird urge when it comes to cute things. She wants to squeeze and eat it. His smile is lopsided as he glances at her. 

Mr. Gu: “You just tell me anything you want now. Aw, he didn’t look happy saying that. 

The Rolls-Royce is damaged! There’s a big dent in the rear. Before confessing to Mr. Gu, Chang-Hee puts on his runners. His instincts were dead on. Mr. Gu chases him down. Hahahahaha. I love how Do-Hwan gives the boys water. The running calms Mr. Gu. He remembers how he told his ex “I’m the only one who needs to understand me”. Isn’t it different now? There’s someone who thinks he’s transparent. As for Chang-Hee, the hunted, he’s reminded of Hyeon-A’s words: “I once read a book about how to be a good writer, and it said that a good drama is one where the main character tries hard to achieve something but can’t do it. So I gave up. Why would I write something that’s like life? That’s so boring.” 

Chang-Hee arrives at the subway station. He is safe! But Mr. Gu is on the subway too. He just didn’t chase after him. 

Mr. Gu has made the decisions to leave for Seoul. His reason? It just happened like that. I think it’s because the underling knows of Mi-Jeong’s existence. It’s for her safety that he’s leaving??? Mi-Jeong can’t sleep that night. She cries alone in her room. Then she gets up and barges into Mr. Gu’s house. She wants to keep in contact and to meet once or twice a month. Aw. He doesn’t want to, though. He wants to live a clearcut life. He knows she has an idea of what he’s done before. Their worlds are different. “Curse me out if you want to.” 

Mi-Jeong (takes a breath): I... 

Mr. Gu: You what? 

M-Jeong: I’m...not angry. 

Mr. Gu: I’m saying that I’m leaving and you’re not angry? Upset, is he?

Mi-Jeong: You want to go back. You want to leave, and I could tell you not to or I could ask you to stay longer, but I’m just sad. I’m not angry. I don’t know. I might be angry later. Mi-Jeong had said that if her partner finds success, she’ll gladly let him go. 

Mr. Gu (scratch his head): Live in Seoul if possible. Live like an ordinary person, surrounded by people. 

Mi-Jeong (replies tiredly): I’m ordinary now too! I’m exhaustingly ordinary.  

Mr. Gu (raises his voice): Being ordinary is when you have common desires. That’s when you can say you’re ordinary. Not “worship” or “liberation”. The desires that everyone else has. As your brother said, be like the women who have the strollers they want. 

Mi-Jeong (is stubborn): I’m going to carry my kid. Lol! I want to carry you at one years old. 

Mr. Gu: That’s why you live like this. Is his voice breaking?

Mi-Jeong: I’m going to live like this – Mr. Gu walks away but Mi-Jeong repeats herself – I’m just going to live like this. I’m going to call even if you answer grumpily. But not often.

The next day, Dad Yeom tells Mr. Gu that if he ever changes his mind, he can always come back. Mr. Gu drives away. He passes by the field and notices the stray dogs are caught. Oh this was what he was doing at the meadows. He made sure the field was safe from wild dogs. It’s his way of protecting Mi-Jeong. 

I’m Going to Hope That You Never Even Catch a Cold

Mi-Jeong sobs at Mr. Gu’s empty house. Oh my poor baby. T_T.  Meanwhile, Mr. Gu facetiously laughs at Mr. Baek’s funeral. Mr. Gu just can’t stop laughing. “I’m the kind of person who’s happy when someone dies, you know?” Who is talking to? Mi-Jeong? Who is he trying to convince? Himself? 

Mi-Jeong walks to work. She tells herself: (1) I will not pretend to be happy, (2) I will not pretend to be unhappy, and (3) I will be honest (with myself). She had always wished all the men who left here would be unhappy. 

Mi-Jeong: I had hoped they would die. [But] for you, I’m going to hope that you never even catch a cold. I’m going to hope that you don’t suffer a single day of being hungover. This was her Liberation. To have someone who would make her happy just thinking of him. Even if he left her, she wants him to be in her happy thoughts. 

An ambulance passes by. Then the scene changes. It’s winter. We don’t know how much time has passed, but Mi-Jeong’s hair is short. 

[Ep13] 2022. Mr. Gu operates a ‘club’ for Chairmen Shin. It seems he’s always shivering in the cold. His days are spent disciplining his underlings, demanding money from borrowers, and drinking. Then one day, he sees a baby in his office. He stares at it, not knowing what to do with it. The only place that Mr. Gu felt right at, and not out of place, was next to Mi-Jeong. Then one day, he shouts for Mi-Jeong. “Yeom Mi-Jeong!” Samshik replies to him. Apparently, Mr. Gu doesn’t like his new name and will call him anything. Mr. Gu lets him do whatever he wants since he (Gu) can’t do what makes him happy. Samshik wants to go home. Mr. Gu, I want you to go home too. ): 

Autumn. Mr. Gu has left. He even changed his number. Whenever Mi-Jeong is frustrated, she goes for a night walk. Her mind is clearest at night. She doesn’t care if she dies tonight. What’s the big deal about some guy leaving? He ran because he was afraid of being happy. Then a stray dog approaches her. Its eyes are pitch black while Mi-Jeong's are merciless as she grips her stick. She has the aura of a warrior. <3. Then the ungrateful mongrel whimpers and runs away. She heads back down the hill and stares at the empty house. “The feeling of being abandoned.” By the “ungrateful mongrel”. 

Chang-Hee Spends Time with Family and Friends

Chang-Hee blowdries Hyeon-A’s boyfriend's hair at the hospital. Okay. The boyfriend tells him that it felt like he was having a relationship with Chang-Hee too. Hyeon-A always talked about him. Boyfriend says, “You might not feel anything for her but she does for you.” He’s also excited that the three of them will reunite in hell. Chang-Hee shouts, “I’m not going there!” Lol.

Chang-Hee quit and doesn’t have plans to work yet. Dad Yeom is annoyed and lectures Chang-Hee. Chang-Hee snaps at his father, asking if he can even treat him like half of how he treats Mr. Gu. You work with machines all day. You don't know how tough it is working with people. You never say phrases like “You’ve worked hard”, “Take a rest”. Not once has he acknowledged that Chang-Hee works hard too. Dad Yeom is silent. 

The next day, the Yeom family are harvesting their potatoes. Dad Yeom remembers how Chang-Hee (a student back then) won the relay race for his team when he had the latest start time. Dad Yeom was proud. Now his sigh is heavy. They work in silence to reap the potatoes. However, the family in the next field gloats at their yield and sneers at Yeom family’s. Then when their car honks from behind, Dad Yeom has had enough. He floors the pedal. Leggo. It’s a race! Dad Yeom takes a sharp right onto the shortcut. “Nice!” Chang-Hee cheers. But Dad Yeom forgets to look ahead and dips off the road into a ditch. Potatoes everywhere! Whether or not they won, I think both son and father were proud of the other running their best.

I’m Just Happy When You Smile and When You Cry, I Wonder What Happened

Mom Yeom complains to Dad Yeom. There’s not a single day to rest. For him, once he puts down his spoon, he’s out to work either in the fields or the factory. Mom Yeom has to follow him around and run back and forth to cook for him and the family. She can’t even attend church. As she’s yelling, she’s complaining about the sweat that keeps dripping. Heart attack signs. 

Mom Yeom meets Gi-Jeong's boyfriend. The plan was for Mom Yeom to leave secretly at the restaurant, but she's so happy, she pays their bill, orders them a seafood pancake, and asks if they want more food. It’s after she leaves that Gi-Jeong shamefully admits to Cho Tae-Hun that she’s her mother. 

Mom Yeom visits some friends. One lady asks her if she found her dog yet because a month ago Mi-Jeong was crying her eyes out for her lost dog. That ungrateful mongrel. Mom Yeom listlessly wanders the street. Then at an empty alley, her knees cave and she cries. T_T. She’s back home and cooks rice. She sits at the table, heartbroken. Her maknae was suffering so much and she didn’t even know. This is why Mi-Jeong doesn’t want her to know. 

Different Time, Same Place

Mi-Jeong wins the card design at work. A colleague asks, “Is there anything you wish would happen today?” She tells them there's nothing in particular, but in her heart she does wish for one thing: “Come to me. Mr. Gu! I want you to come to me.” 

Mi-Jeong cried and we didn’t even get to see it. We only know her bravery at night and competency at work.

2022 Winter. Mr. Gu is heading to the subway!

Mi-Jeong takes the subway home. She tells herself “He’s coming. He came...He is waiting for me.” Reminds me of what she said in Ep1. 

I love how the subway scenes overlapped each other. The time is different, but they’re at the same place. It reminds me of what Mi-Jeong said in Ep8 at the stairs. She wants to be with him at different times in the same space. 

Mr. Gu waits at the station until it’s dark, but Mi-Jeong hasn’t appeared yet. He walks to her home, but an unfamiliar lady is here instead. She calls her husband, and it's Dad Yeom. It looks like Dad Yeom recovered from a stroke. Mr. Gu looks around the house. The rooms are empty. The wall where the pictures used to be is bare. He tells Mr. Gu that Mom Yeom went to sleep and never woke up. She left the rice cooker on. 

(Presently) Chang-Hee finds his mother dead. T__T

This is why Mi-Jeong saw an ambulance heading to her home. 

Dad Yeom tells Mr. Gu that all three siblings went to live in Seoul. Dad gives him Mi-Jeong’s new number. 

Chang-Hee’s Marriage Proposal

[Ep14] Chang-Hee is the one who watches over his mother’s cremation. He asks Hyeon-A, “When I end up lying there, who will be standing here.” She replies it’ll probably be her. “Let’s get married.” Chang-Hee just proposed. Just like that. She’s silent. 

Coping

During the cremation, an employee asks Chang-Hee how he wants to process the artificial joint from his mother’s corpse. It’s usually thrown away, but Chang-Hee keeps it.  

The family sans mom is back home. Mi-Jeong cleans the pot of burnt rice. Gi-Jeong does the laundry and cries alone when she hangs the clothes. All the while Dad Yeom is lying on the ground, doing nothing and not sleeping. Mi-Jeong turns on the TV for him (so it’s less lonely). At night, Mi-Jeong stares blankly at the TV. Then she sits quietly in front of her mother’s urn. She opens the lid to look inside (of what was her mother). 

Early next morning, Dad Yeom prepares breakfast. He doesn’t know how to cook, but he tries. The sisters don’t eat though, leaving the son and father at the dining table, facing each other and only each other. Gi-Jeong cries as she walks to the bus stop. Has Mi-Jeong cried since the funeral? At work, a colleague asks Mi-Jeong why she doesn’t place her mother’s urn at a columbarium. She replies, “How could we leave her somewhere else?” Other than home. T_T. The colleague asks if it’s scary. Mi-Jeong just smiles. It’s her mother. How can she be scary? 

At home, Gi-Jeong and Mi-Jeong take over housework, especially the cooking. After lifting the kimchi from the freezer, Gi-Jeong is convinced their mother died from exhaustion. 

At dinner, Gi-Jeong scolds Dad Yeom that if he dares to lend money to their (paternal) aunt again then she won’t see him ever again. Then the urn makes a noise. T_T. The entire family freezes. Mi-Jeong sets down her chopsticks to check the urn. Dad Yeom watches his maknae return to the table as if touching the urn was nothing at all.

Chang-Hee recalls a time in high school when he skipped class. It was his first time. He had no particular reason. He just wanted to go home that day. And that’s how he discovered his grandmother dying. It seems his soul knew to accompany her. And to accompany his mother. That night, the boys bury what looks like artificial joints. 

Mi-Jeong is sitting in front of the TV again. The streetlight is on. It’s snowing. Winter is here. Mi-Jeong, are you whole yet? :( 

Gi-Jeong’s Marriage Proposal

Gi-Jeong chats with Cho Tae-Hun’s daughter. She asks if grown-ups get sad when their mothers are gone. She doesn’t have a mother to be sad about. Then all of a sudden, Gi-Jeong asks if she can be her mother. The daughter walks away, and then Cho Tae-Hun walks in. She asks him to marry. He agrees. 

I Don’t Want to Have Friends Anymore

 

Mi Jeong’s manager is cheating on his wife and using her name to hide his lover. At work, Mi-Jeong gets a call from the wife, and answers straight away, “It’s not me.” Then she calls her manager to confirm her caller ID, which has ‘Temporary Employee’ in brackets. When the manager hollers, Mi-Jeong coolly asks, “Would you like to know who it is [on the phone]?” Love her. Mi-Jeong even knows who the mistress is. She used to be grateful for her because whenever she tapped her papers that was a signal for the manager to stop scolding. Now, whenever she starts putting papers together, Mi-Jeong wants to break all her fingers. 

The mistress is Han Su-Jin. When the girls take their talk outside, Mi-Jeong whacks Han Su-Jin with her bag. Mi-Jeong. You can never predict what she’d do. Mi-Jeong is riled because Han Su-Jin played footsies under the table with the manager during her mother’s funeral. Ah. Han Su-Jin whacks her too. 

At night, Mi-Jeong, who’s scratched up, sits out on the patio. “I don’t want to have friends anymore. I don’t need them.” She tries to smoke but a pine cone falls on her head. How is that possible when there’s a roof. She stares at the pinecone, “Why does it feel like that’s you? Something that feels so out of place and is screaming, 'I’m here.’”

2022. Mr. Gu is sitting in the same spot. He looks up. “Yeom Mi Jeong.” He is here. Just not at the same time ): And he did scream your name, Mi-Jeong. This stupid pinecone of a man. 

At work, the girls and the manager are summoned for internal investigations. It’s unfortunate for Mi-Jeong who’s still a temporary employee. She won’t be able to work at the same department. Also, Han Su-Jin and Manager deny dating. After work, Mi-Jeong eats at the dumpling restaurant that Mr. Gu took her to. She looks outside to see who’s passing by. Not Mr. Gu. 

Mi-Jeong’s Quiet Sufferings Exposed

Chang-Hee meets his mother’s friend, the same friend who tells Chang-Hee the same thing about Mi-Jeong crying her eyes out for her lost dog. Chang-Hee must know how his mother’s heart broke for Mi-Jeong who had no place to cry that she had to find an alley and lie that it’s for a dog. Chang-Hee recalls a conversation with Hyeon-A who asked him how her sisters were coping. He had replied, “Gi-Jeong cries everyday, and I guess Mi-Jeong is the same too.” So he never saw her cry.  Hyeon-A responded, “Mi-Jeong is someone who can’t cry unless she plucks up the courage to.” T_T

Mi-Jeong is back home early. Chang-Hee gives her an extra glance, but doesn’t ask. 

Gi-Jeong finds out Mi-Jeong took out a loan for the settlement fee in beating up Han Su-Jin. The two men in the family are shocked, lol. They don’t know what to say and just blink and stare as Gi-Jeong does all the questioning. The point that confuses Gi-Jeong is why Mi-Jeong didn’t have money for a mere settlement. Gi-Jeong demands to see her bank account. Mi-Jeong fires back, “Are you my mom?” The boys are silent. Did I say that already? Gi-Jeong takes a deep breath and realizes she must have lent her ex money. Smart sister. Gi-Jeong whacks her head and then yells at her to give that bastard’s number to her. Aw. But he’s not in the country anymore. Gi-Jeong yells at Mi-Jeong some more. Why didn’t you tell anyone? Do you have no family? No mom? No dad? Chang-Hee speaks up for Mi-Jeong, who’s crying, that he wouldn’t tell anyone either. He’d rather die than let any of them know too. “Since when did we ever rely on family?” Oof. That comment makes Dad Yeom's heart drop. 

I also like this moment. Gi-Jeong took on the mean mom’s role. Chang-Hee took on the caring dad role. Dad Yeom is just there, learning to be a dad for his children. 

That night, Chang-Hee waits at the parking lot for Mr. Gu (for Mi Jeong? T_T). But he doesn’t show up. 

Chang-Hee’s Marriage Proposal 2.0

Hyeon-A phones Chang-Hee and asks why he’s ignoring her when he proposed to her. Her boyfriend is right next to her and Chang-Hee assures him that Hyeon-A won’t accept. Then the boyfriend takes the call and indicates he supports the marriage. I feel like I understand this open relationship and I feel like I don’t. Now they talk about columbarium. The boyfriend found a good one for himself and Mom Yeom so that every time Chang-Hee visits his mother, he’d visit him too. He will also reserve a spot for Chang-Hee and Hyeon-A. Morbid jokes. 

Family Trip

Over lunch, Chang-Hee promises Dad Yeom that they’re going to be happier. Definitely. Dad’s cheek muscles start working. But, Chang-Hee says they need a car first. LOL. They get a car! And the four of them take a walk on the beach. It’s the first time they’ve done this together. They used to have family moments like this but not after Mi-Jeong was born. It had nothing to do with her birth. It was because of Aunt and her debts that became their debts. 

Chang-Hee: The villain of our family is Auntie. 

Mi-Jeong: That’s scary. I’m going to be an Auntie soon. 

Gi-Jeong: Hey, it’s not possible for us to become an aunt who robs her family. Dad loved her, you know? That’s why he cared for her and sold off his own land. But this asshole (Chang-Hee) doesn’t love us that much.

(Dad is here, listening) 

Chang-Hee: You have no idea. I would give you everything if I had anything. I just can’t because I don’t. 

Gi-Jeong: Hey. Once we get married, let’s not bother each other over money. 

Chang-Hee: Yes. Let’s never do that. 

Gi-Jeong: Nevermind. Bother me – She glances at Mi-Jeong – On a second thought. I think I’d give you money too. But you need to know this. We can do that because we love each other. But do you think our children will love us that much? I don’t think so, you know? That’s the problem. 

 

The sun has set. Chang-Hee walks up to Dad who’s staring ahead. 

Chang-Hee: You still have the three of us by your side. Dad, I love you. Chang-Hee <3. 

2022. Dad Yeom always thought he was the one taking care of his children, but it was them and his wife taking care of him. After visiting Dad Yeom, Mr. Gu cries at the pub. He says he’s not sad, but why are there tears? For Mom Yeom? For the pain Mi-Jeong went through? He returns home. He has to enter his passcode twice. He’s probably drunk. The floor is cluttered with empty bottles. 

The Phone Call!

The next day, Mr. Gu phones Mi-Jeong!!! 

Mi-Jeong: Hello? 

Silence

Mi-Jeong: Hello? 

Mr. Gu: It’s been a while. It’s Mr. Gu. 

Mi-Jeong: It has been a while

Mr. Gu: How have you been? Have you managed to liberate yourself?

Mi-Jeong: Of course not. 

Mr. Gu (hesitates a microsecond): Have you met someone who worships you?

Mi-Jeong (softens): Of course not. 

Mr. Gu: Let’s meet up. 

Mi-Jeong: I can’t. 

Mr. Gu: Why?

Mi-Jeong: I’ve gained weight. I need to lose weight. Lol. 

Mr. Gu: Lose some weight in an hour and meet me. Can’t wait! 

After losing some weight, Mi-Jeong is here to meet Mr. Gu. I like how she waddles a little. Cute. They both grin and laugh. They’re still standing at a distance. He says she hasn’t gained much weight at all. She looks at him too, smiles, and notes that his hair is longer. He nods a little, “Aren’t I handsome?” Mi-Jeong laughs out loud. He notices her hair too. It’s shorter. 

Mr. Gu: You changed your number. That was a bold move. You changed yours first! 

He walks towards her and they take a stroll side by side. 

Mi-Jeong: I was so angry waiting for you to call. It’s not like you don’t know where I live. I thought you would be able to if you really wanted to. You never called my previous number. Did you? 

Mr. Gu: I missed you. So much – They laugh – It sounds real now that I’ve said it. It feels like I’ve really missed you. I wanted to squeeze you and swallow you down in one mouthful. Isn’t this her morbid joke? 

Mi-Jeong laughs (because he remembers her words?).

Mr. Gu: Aren’t I good at worshipping now?

Mi-Jeong: What’s your name? 

Mr. Gu: Gu Ja-Gyeong. 

After 14 episodes she knows her boyfriend’s name. 

Are We a Two? Or Just Two Against One?

[Ep15] Mr. Gu suggests coffee. Mi-Jeong prefers to walk. It’s too awkward to sit face to face. Mr. Gu also notes how they never even had coffee together. She didn’t even know your name, dude! Mi-Jeong reminds him it was always cold water after farming. Mr. Gu laughs. “Just as I thought, we suit the fields better.” Mi-Jeong agrees. “Trees, wind, and rocks don’t irritate us.” They also agree on how people irritate them. Even someone alone sitting next to them at a cafe can irritate him. Mi-Jeong laments, “Maybe we just hate people.” Mr. Gu thought he was the only one. Then a lone stranger walks between them. Mi-Jeong asks Mr. Gu if that man was irritated at them too. 

Mr. Gu: When it’s one against many, it’s always the one that gets irritated. The ‘majority’ doesn’t care. But the ‘one’ is always on guard and alert because they don’t have a partner – Mr. Gu turns to look at her – I get weird when I’m with you. I keep saying things I never thought of. 

Mi-Jeong is lost in her thoughts. 

Mi-Jeong: Are we a two? Or just two against one? (Two single people)

Mr. Gu (looks back at her): Towards me, are you on guard?  

They hold each other's gazes. 

Mi-Jeong (glares): You should have called me sooner. (You hateful person.)

Mr. Gu smiles serenely at her. 

And that’s how these two confirm their relationship. So simple (: 

They go on a date on a busy, busy street. Now that they’re a ’two’, they’re not irritated at the crowd. He buys her shoes. Then he buys himself a backpack so that he can carry her purse. Dude just can’t carry her purse, eh. He also buys her a pair of mittens. The store lady must not have a pair of scissors because he’s using his teeth to pry open the plastic. However, Mr. Gu forgets that today is Saturday. His memory is worrisome. He’s got work to do. Mi-Jeong tells him to go. “You can come back, can’t you?” He promises to be back and then he dashes. Like in the beginning, he’s on the move again for her. When traffic is jammed, he’s running on foot. Sam-Sik follows behind. Work isn’t so smooth. A lady swipes him with a broken bottle. Then he learns his underling is embezzling. Finally, Chairman Shin confronts him about his alcoholism. “You must be drinking everyday, except for maybe a few hours a week?” 

Step by Step, Trudging Forward

Work is over. Mr. Gu is drinking in the car. He hesitates to enter the restaurant when he’s right in front. He checks the injury on his cheek. He doesn’t want to show her this side of him. Thankfully, he walks into the restaurant. Mi-Jeong doesn’t probe him about his injuries. He explains that he hasn’t even had one perfect day. 

Mi-Jeong: Five minutes a day. If you have five minutes of peace, it’s bearable. When I hold the door open for a kid at a convenience store, and the kid says “Thank you” that makes me happy for seven seconds, or when I open my eyes in the morning and remember it’s Saturday and that makes me happy for ten seconds. Fill five minutes a day like that. That’s how I survive.

Mr. Gu smirks. She always cheers him up when he needs it the most. 

Mr. Gu: You’re still the same, step by step, making progress with great difficulty  – He grins – Then let’s try (shall we). Step by step, trudging forward together. 

This Man, He’d Never Let Me Hit Rock Bottom

It’s snowing. Mi-Jeong tells him it’s her ex’s wedding today and he still owes her money. “I decided to go to his wedding and stand behind the bride and groom with a really scary expression for the photos and then take their congratulatory money on my way out.” She was determined to ruin everything. “Let’s do this. It’s me against everyone else.” But then Mr. Gu called right at that time. It’s a good thing he thought it was Sunday today then. 

Mi-Jeong (to Mr. Gu): This man, he’d never let me hit rock bottom. He’s stopping me. 

Mr. Gu also remembers how Mi-Jeong got him off the subway stop. She didn’t let him hit rock bottom either. These two aren’t one against the world anymore. 

Mr. Gu brings Mi-Jeong back to his home where the heater is broken. Mi-Jeong lies down next to Mr. Gu. She rubs her nose, which she says is cold. He pulls a blanket over her. Mr. Gu asks if he’s still an asshole. Not anymore. She says it’s because he called her. He asks, “So I was an asshole until yesterday?” There’s a smile on Mi-Jeong’s lips as she stays silent. 

Chang-Hee: I Always Know in Advance Where I Belong

Chang-Hee operates a convenience store. He once had a sweet potato oven business that failed. If he could have chopped off his arm to pay his employees, he would have. He was frustrated and wanted to go somewhere to pray and the only place that was open that early was a convenience store. Then his ex-colleague called him, asking if he wanted to run a convenience store, which happened to be the store Chang-Hee was in. “That’s who I am, I always know in advance where I belong, like a psychic.” 

Mi-Jeong: Precision Over Creativity

 

Mi-Jeong works at H-Card. She’s in the card printing department. After work, she meets up with Bo-Ram (from Joy Card) who informs her that Han Su-Jin has left the company. “We won, unnie.” But Mi-Jeong isn’t planning to go back to designing. She thinks she’s better suited for jobs that require precision over creativity. She never felt like she wasted her time like when her designs were rejected. Bo-Ram whines that her talent would be wasted. Wouldn't woodcraft utilize both her creativity and precision best?  

Gi-Jeong: Are Women at 30,40, 50 Different?

Gi-Jeong whines that she’ll be 50 when she gets to marry Cho Tae-Hun because he wants to wait for his daughter to reach 20. She wonders when they’re 50 if they can still feel emotion. Will they be like animals, living just to be alive? Over at the next table, three ladies in their fifties overhear. The lady understands Gi-Jeong, but no matter what age, it’ll all feel the same. When she was 30, when she was 40, when she will be 80, it will all happen that fast.

Gi-Jeong’s friend is divorced after seven years. She used to pity her friends who weren't married and living alone. She realizes she was arrogant. Living alone is fine. Eating and sleeping on her own schedule was such a simple joy. When she was married, life was difficult. Time was like a wheel going around, having to go to her in-laws. and eating her meals with a lot of people. Life as human, whether it’s marriage or work, a lot of effort is required to maintain relationships. Now that her husband is gone, she let go of all that. “It’s okay to live alone.” 

I Was Just a One-Won Coin

Chang-Hee paid off all his loans. His friend is impressed. Chang-Hee tells him a story. He had a hyung (Mr. Gu) who told him there was 7.7. billion people on Earth, but he doesn’t know how much 7.7 billion is. If you replaced each human with a one-won coin, then a total of 7.7 billion one-won coins is about the size of that mountain. “I realized I was just a one-won coin. And there was no need to make such a fuss throughout life.” This is why Chang-Hee will stare at the mountain. 

Therapist

Mi-Jeong ordered Mr. Gu a mini-heater. It should be at his door. He reads her message and leaves her hanging. She smiles that his habit remains unchanged. Perhaps Mr. Gu reading her message is already a privilege, lol. As for Mr. Gu, he’s with Chairman Shin who wants him to get treatment. Mr. Gu did try but he can’t talk to a dull person for more than ten minutes and so he changed his therapist. This new therapist told him he was always on guard because he’s “one”. That’s his life. He’s always alone. “I try to be happy for just five minutes a day so I try to gather moments of excitement in four and seven second chunks to fill five minutes a day.” His therapist is Mi-Jeong. Today, he hasn’t gotten one second, but while talking to Chairman Shin just now, he got excited for three seconds. I think recalling Mi-Jeong made him happy. “It’s six seconds now.” It’s pretty long today. 

Mr. Gu waits for Mi-Jeong at the subway station like old times. At a food stand, Mr. Gu asks if she wants to start a part-time. “Cleaning?” She asks. No! It’s listening to him talk. His therapist. He tells her how he started out as a host. Omo. He wanted to quit after two weeks because his customers were always complaining about their husbands having an affair. He’s just telling her anything. He’d rather be beaten than listen. “You should get paid for listening.” And so he asks for ten sessions because that’s how therapies are booked. And then if he has more to say, he'll book another ten. She hasn’t promised him yet, but he has sealed the deal: “You like listening to me talk.” She laughs. 

Mi-Jeong is at Mr. Gu’s. They’re sitting on the floor by the heater, wrapped in one blanket. He tells her when he met her again, he regretted it. He thought he ended their relationship pretty well. He should have left it at that. Then he shouts, “Yeom Mi-Jeong! Just know this. I liked you for real.” Why past tense! “Later, I have no idea what kind of mess I’ll become, I’ll probably end up homeless, I’ll be grateful if I could end things before then. Anyway, I really liked you.” She smiles. She thanks him. She doesn’t ask. That’s what he likes about her. He’s afraid that when his temper flares, he won’t know what kind of expression he will show her or what he’d do or what’d he say. “But remember this one thing that even if I end up becoming the asshole to end all assholes later on, remember I really liked you.” They lie on the floor in one blanket and next to the heater. He mumbles to her that he’ll book another ten sessions if he has more to say and when he has nothing more, then he'll end it. Mi-Jeong answers, “Alright.” Mr. Gu asks about Chang-Hee. Mi-Jeong opens her eyes. Is that sadness in her eyes? 

Chang-Hee: I Think I’ll Return to That Mountain

Chang-Hee phones Dad Yeom to tell him he finished repaying his loans. Dad tells him, “You worked hard.” Aw. Oh, and Dad Yeom still owns the factory. 

As Chang-Hee rides his bike, he recalls an argument with Hyeon-A. “I need to be sick and dying like Hyeok-Su for you to passionately care for me but I’m too healthy and working too hard so you’re bored.” She screamed that it wasn’t like that. He tells her to leave because he’s going to stay heathly and live a normal life. What happened? Then in another flashback, Chang-Hee gently tells Hyeon-A that if life gets too hard, then she can come back to him and if he’s still alone, he’ll be there for her. And if she wants to leave again, then she can leave again. “Let’s part ways with blessings for each other.” Chang-Hee truly wishes for her happiness. He doesn’t want hatred in their hearts. He asks to end it here. Hyeon-A knocks his hand away. So. She doesn’t agree to end it?? Presently, Chang-Hee cries and knocks away his bike. He looks up at the mountain. “Hyung, I don’t think I was a one-won coin. I think I’ve been on that mountain all along. I think I’ll return to that mountain.” When people are miserable, some will tell you there are people out there more miserable than you. You’re like a coin among all the coins. But no. When I’m miserable, my problems are the size of that mountain. Don’t tell me it’s any less. Just saying. Chang-Hee must be feeling miserable. 

Gi-Jeong Cuts Her Own Hair

Cho Tae-Hun learns Gi-Jeong isn’t pregnant. He’s relieved. Very relieved. Then he realizes his mistake. He offended her because he was too relieved. She stays strong in front of him and is forgiving. But at home, Gi-Jeong chops her hair. 

[Ep16] Mi-Jeong meets with her Liberation Club members. So Hyang-Gi’s smile isn’t as awkward. A friend of Park Sang-Min wants to publish their notes. It’d make a great slice of life story. You don’t say. Cho Tae-Hun is slightly pessimistic. Even if he did start to change, he’s still a weakling. So Hyang-Gi has a different opinion. “It’s not like we accomplished nothing.” Some days she feels like she improved and some days she feels like she’s back to square one, but ultimately, she feels liberated just a little. 

Mi-Jeong : I think that’s what this is all about. Knowing what my issue was. 

Mr. Gu shows mercy to his underling (who’s addicted to gambling), but the underling retorts that Mr. Gu can’t even remember his own number. An alcoholic has no right to lecture a gambler. Then when Mr. Gu is in the car, he asks Sam-sik why he’s not picking up his phone. Uh oh. The ringing is in his ear. Mr. Gu looks at his liquor, and takes another sip. He knows his problem. But he can’t stop. But I guess he knows what his issue is....... 

You Are Like My Sanctuary

For Mr. Gu, it’s easier being drunk. When he’s sober, all the people from the past come to haunt him. In the mornings, he would feel like garbage, like there’s sewage waste flowing in his vessels. Mi-Jeong understands. When she’s brushing her teeth in the morning, the people she hates swarm into her mind. One of them is her ex. Mr. Gu asks for his number so he can teach him a lesson but Mi-Jeong doesn’t want her money back. She wants him to always remember how terrible he is. 

Mi-Jeong: That’s why I’m always exhausted. since I decided to be someone who exists only to prove how terrible someone else is. 

Mr. Gu: Among those people you wanted to prove were terrible...was I one of them? 

Mi-Jeong: You are like my sanctuary – A smile peeps though as he scratches his head – because I decided to keep you away from my hate. After you left, my mom passed away, and my dad remarried. I felt like I was constantly abandoned. No matter what kind of relationship, I’ve never been the one to walk away first. The other person always leaves me behind. So I thought maybe something was wrong with me. And since it was so painful to find a problem with myself, I made myself believe everyone else was the asshole. But I was determined from the moment I met you that I wouldn't make any more assholes in my life. That I’d gladly let you fly to become a better person. That I wouldn’t be embarrassed even if you hit rock bottom. That I’d only cheer you on. Worshipping. When I felt like I would hate you, I begged in my head, please don’t even let him catch a cold, please don’t let him suffer from a hangover.

Mr. Gu: Come to think of it, I never caught a cold. 

Dad Yeom is Caring

Chang-Hee tells his buddies he paid his debt as fast as he could for his father in case his stepmother would divorce him. If he divorces, Chang-Hee will have to take care of him, lol. He recalls how depressing it was when he ate three meals alone with his father and that’s when he decided that he needed to get it together and help his father remarry. Haha. And so the son and father had gone to a dermatology clinic before his blind date. Aw. I love how it’s in between the lines that the father and son care for e/o. Dad Yeom remarried for the sake of his children so that they can feel at ease to leave for the city. Chang-Hee will take care of his father regardless. . 

Dad Yeom tells his children, “If you think you would be fine living on your own, then just do that. It’s okay for you to do that.” The children are surprised. Chang-Hee chips in, “I don’t think someone who married twice can say that.” Ha. Dad Yeom counters. It’s precisely because he married twice that he can say that. “Your dad isn’t strong. You guys are better than me.” The girls tear up. I hate how this family only grew closer because of Mom Yeom’s death. Guys, don’t wait until it’s too late T_T

Chang-Hee’s Return to Paradise

Chang-Hee had a meeting with investors to sell his infrared sweet potato oven, but gave that up to stay with his dying friend (Hyeon-A’s boyfriend). Once again, it’s like his soul knew where to go beforehand. Like the movie, Return to Paradise, he was like the third friend. He could be in prison for three years just to experience those five minutes with his friend who feared dying. He was there for his grandpa, grandma, and mother. And now the boyfriend too. 

Some time later, Hyeon-A finished interviewing for a new part-time. She keeps herself busy to exhaust herself. “I only feel alive when I exhaust myself completely. If I have energy left, I feel heavy. Nothing has gone my way, and I haven’t achieved anything, but I’ve tried my best.” Chang-Hee has an analogy, “Is it like the way you feel spent after having diarrhea.” 

Perhaps these two can still be together in the future?

Gi-Jeong Will Be the Man

Cho Tae-Hun asks Gi-Jeong why she cut her hair. She starts venting. First of all, she loves him and wants to cheer him on, but it felt like she was another woman that made his life difficult. She doesn’t know what the problem is, but she just feels wronged, like she’s losing. Why does she have to be hurt by his sister’s words? Is loving him a reason to be looked down on? But if the other option is to break up with him, Gi-Jeong can’t. Just thinking about it makes her arms numb.

Cho Tae-Hun tells her why he was relieved when she wasn’t pregnant. He feels bad when he sees children and the burdens they will carry when they grow up. Gi-Jeong tells him that they’re already born and are living. “So how are we supposed to live?” Gi-Jeong answers her own question. Four women is too much for him so today forwards, she will be his man! LOL. “That's why I cut my hair.” She said this in Ep4: “It feels like I’ve been struggling over something meaningless all my life. If I shave it off, I won’t have any more false hopes and it'll make me feel lighter.”

Mi-Jeong is Passionate

Mi-Jeong overcomes her hatred. She actually helps her ex who was wrongfully accused of sexual harassment. He promises to pay her back in intervals. He apologizes for taking so long. She tells him it’s fine and walks away. She walked away first! That night, Mi-Jeong feels happy and wants alcohol with Mr. Gu. Then she tells him she found her old diaries. She was surprised that she was so passionate with lots of love. 

Mr. Gu (smiles so much that his eyes are a line): You didn’t know? You’re passionate. 

It’s Mr. Gu’s turn to talk. “When I feel like my life is going okay, I drink. I beat myself up in advance. ‘I’m not happy. I’m definitely not happy. I’ve been miserable. So please punish me just a little. Please only a little.’” Mi-Jeong chuckles. She finds him adorable. Perhaps Mi-Jeong finds him ‘lovable’ because Mr. Gu is recognizing his issue. He was her half a series ago. He’s opening up to her. Is he starting his liberation? 

Mi-Jeong: When those people come to you again in the morning, laugh like you did now. Welcome them like that. How does she say the right thing so easily like that? 

Mr. Gu stops and stares. He shouts her name, “Yeom Mi-Jeong.” Then he runs after her and hugs her. 

Gi-Jeong’s Love Isn’t A Long-Stemmed Blooming Rose in a Vase

Cho Tae-Hun is drunk and happily gives Gi-Jeong a stem and egg bread. Gi-Jeong is confused at the stem until she finds the rose on the ground. 

Gi-Jeong: I found the head of a rose that broke off from its stem and placed it in a soy sauce dish filled with water. Even if I tried to make it stand, it doesn’t have a stem, so I laid it in a soy sauce dish. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our love was a long-stemmed rose blooming beautiful in a vase. But reality isn’t like that and that’s okay! This rose lying in a soy sauce dish reminded me of you and me. I’m afraid it will wither faster if I’m not looking so I can't take my eyes off of it. That’s the type of woman I am. 

She also compliments herself for not saying she liked beef or he’d be broke buying her food every three days. Then the silly guy gets a message from her that his buttons are done wrong. He undoes them and buttons up again and it’s still wrong. Lol.

Liberation 

Chang-Hee wants to take a course on Landscape Paintings of Joseon, but enters the wrong classroom for funerals. Chang-Hee was ready to leave, but the more he listens, the more he’s intrigued. Funeral planning is like wedding planning. A wedding ceremony is for a couple embarking on a new beginning, whereas a death ceremony is an event to mark the end of a person’s life. Chang-Hee smiles to himself and decides to stay. Fate has brought him here. 

Park Sang-Min wants to restart the Liberation Club. Everyone agrees. “Let’s do it!!” Liberation never stops.

Mr. Gu returns to his club. His underling (gambler) betrays him. Thankfully, Mr. Gu and Sam-sik survive. I’ve grown to like Sam-sik even though I barely see him around. Thankfully he didn’t die. Mr. Gu phones the underling and tells him he’ll be one of those people who will haunt him in the morning when he’s sober. He’ll also be one of those people Mr. Gu will curse at, but he will also welcome him back with both arms. Mr. Gu hopes to see him alive again. Mr. Gu had hated Mr. Baek for stabbing him in the back. Mr. Gu is different now. I wonder who changed him. Then he opens his curtain to let the light in. He changes into jeans and a sweater. He takes his stash of cash and leaves his house to go home.

At the elevator, a little girl keeps the door open for Mr. Gu. She peeks up at him. Mr. Gu counts seven seconds of happiness. Mr. Gu’s interaction with little kids no longer feels as surreal (as with the baby in Ep13). He no longer feels out of place. 

Mr. Gu heads to the convenience store to buy liquor. When he exits, he drops a 500-won. It rolls down the gutter. There’s no way it’s still there. But it is! It’s right on the edge. Living on the edge. Mr. Gu admires the coin and smirks. The red-crowned crane on the coin is a symbol of longevity, purity, and peace. He picks up the coin and gives the liquor to the homeless. He isn't going to be homeless like he said. He isn't going to let himself hit rock bottom. Mi-Jeong changed him. He walks step by step towards the sun. 

Mi Jeong's voiceover: There’s this part in my liberation note. Yeom Mi-Jeong’s life is divided into two parts; before and after she met Mr. Gu. 

 

Mr. Gu’s voiceover: Me too. Mr. Gu’s life is divided into two parts: before and after he met Mi-Jeong. 

 

Mi Jeong's voiceover: I must be crazy. I feel so lovable. She’s whole. 

 

Mr. Gu’s voiceover: Step by step. Making progress with great difficulty 

 

Mi Jeong's voiceover: There’s nothing but love in my heart. That’s why I can’t feel anything but love. 

Mi-Jeong's smile glistens from her heart. 

The end. 

Rewatch (Spoiler Section)

If you don’t want to be spoiled, pay attention to the episode number in red. 

Ep 1 & 6: Chang-Hee has a tendency where he’s cheered up when someone else is more misfortunate than him (e.g. when his buddy shared a dating experience worse than his or when a person is even poorer than him at the bank). I think he’s the frame of the drama. How he’s viewing others, is how I’m viewing the drama. It’s like “Ah, there are people like me and they’re struggling too and struggling more than me.” Not that I want to see you worse than me, but that it’s comforting there is someone else in this world who understands.

Ep 1, 7, 12-16: In Ep1, Mi-Jeong says this: “I’m playing the role of a woman who is loved. A woman who has everything she needs. Right now, I love someone and that someone is supporting me. So I want to imagine I’m at peace, that I’m already enjoying the good times that I’ll be spending with you. Rather than going through exhausting, difficult times without you, isn’t it more admirable that I’m finding strength thinking of you?” The time that she was separated from Mr. Gu, I want to think of her like this. She was trying her best to be happy. And she was achieving it. 

Ep 2, 8, & 14: I think from the beginning, Mi-Jeong knew Han Su-Jin was only a superficial friend. In Ep2, Mi-Jeong had a monologue where she mentioned that no one liked her, but in a previous scene, Han Su-Jin was like “Isn’t Mi-Jeong adorable?” Mi-Jeong knew that Han Su-Jin was using her to tailor her image, to appear like the saint in pitying her. Then in Ep8, Mi-Jeong had her ‘shell’ conversation (“You know, there are people who are very polite, but it feels like it’s just their shell, a shell so hard that it feels like you’ll never be able to reach the person inside”). At that moment, Han Su-Jin felt exposed by Mi-Jeong. 

Ep 2 & 5: I really like the change in Mi-Jeong. In Ep2, she felt exhausted and thought no one liked her. She wanted to be liberated. She wanted a change. And she made a change. She asked to be worshipped, to learn what it was like to be “whole”. But I think the most important change was the one she made internally. In Ep5, she recognized why she felt exhausted (“I might seem to be getting along well with people without any problems. but in truth, there’s not a single person I truly like. I’m wondering if that’s why I’m being drained without realizing it. I wonder if that’s why I always feel alone as if I’ve been abandoned”). She made it her goal to find someone who would make her happy when she thinks of them. She was determined to continue liking that person without expecting anything in return (hence ‘worship’). Instead of expecting others to change, I like that she changed herself. And by the end, look what changed. She’s dazzling and lovable. 

Ep 4 & 15: Mi-Jeong could totally go into woodcraft with Mr. Gu. It’s the best place to display both her precision and creativity. As Bo-Ram had said in Ep15, her creativity would be wasted in the printing department. 

Ep 5 & 13: The setup for Mom Yeom’s death was there. T_T. I feel comforted that she said this: “Try having a kid! You’ll feel full without eating. Everyday will be amazing. You’ll be invincible. No one can beat you. No one can beat parents.” Her children made her blissful even if there wasn’t a lot to show off about them, even if they annoyed her like Chang-Hee did. Retrospectively, it broke my heart when she said this in Ep5: “I don’t expect anything from you. I’m just happy when you smile and when you cry, I wonder what happened.” In Ep13, she was happy when Gi-Jeong was happy with her boyfriend. But then when she learned about Mi-Jeong crying all alone in the alley and had to lie that she lost her dog, it crushed Mom Yeom's heart. Mi-Jeong was right about her mother in Ep5: “It’s fine as long as Mom doesn’t find out.” Mom Yeom’s heart really was that fragile when it came to her children. 

Ep 6 & 15: In Ep15 when Mr. Gu said “I really liked you”, it made me wonder exactly when he was referring to. I would think it’s the moment in Ep6 (“I’m like a cowherd, step by step, trudging forward each day”). Those words resonated with him and the next day he cleaned his room that he thought was impossible, and then, for the very first time, he told her he worshipped her. It is the same words that save him again in Ep15&16 (“step by step, making progress with great difficulty”). With her around, he relies less on alcohol. 

Ep 9 & 15: In Ep9 Mi-Jeong felt lovable because she could say anything she wanted, and Mr. Gu would worship her (e.g. frogs going tu-tu-tu-tu). In Ep15, Mr. Gu wonders the same thing: “I get weird when I’m with you. I keep saying things I never thought of.” Mr. Gu must feel lovable too. 

Ep12 & 16: Mr. Gu is always shivering in the cold, but he never caught a cold. It’s because Mi-Jeong prayed for him (Ep12: “I’m going to hope that you never even catch a cold.”). Isn’t that sweet? 

Remarks

[First Impression (Ep1-4)] The premiere left me with so many questions. Are they even family? Why does no one talk? I even thought Mi-Jeong was adopted. She did all the work her siblings hated. And hello, who is this heartthrob who goes by Gu. So mysterious. So quiet. So gruffy. And then when he moves my heart stops 😍

From being confused, I was suddenly in love. Maybe it was when Mi-Jeong requested to be worshipped. Maybe it was when Mr. Gu ‘googled’ the definition. Maybe it was when Mr. Gu flew.

Mi-Jeong has inspired me to make my own self-discoveries and I know you guys care so here they are: (1) give me a mysterious man on an island, on a boat, in the countryside, wherever, and I’ll devour that drama, and (2) there’s something in that Gu blood that gravitates mine.

P.S. Does anyone know what year the drama is set in? Did I miss it or was it omitted on purpose?

[Actors/Actresses] I’ve liked Kim Ji-Won since High Kick! (2011) and I love Lee Min-Ki for his role in Because This is My First Life, so of course I went into this drama expecting to love these two, which I do, but I wasn’t expecting the force à la Son Suk-Gu. Where has he been? Where have I been? I think I’m checking out Designated Survivor: 60 Days next.

[Behind the Scenes] 

[Ending] A happy (open) ending. The siblings are at a better place with themselves. The main couple, I think they will be together. 

If you want more spoilers: 

Gi-Jeong is evermore certain she wants to be with Cho Tae-Hun. Although I prefer her manager (chemistry-wise), I like it that she is steadfast in her decisions. She made the confession. She pursued him. She knew it couldn't be anyone but him.

Chang-Hee has found a purpose in life – not that he actively sought for it, it just happened. Being a funeral director might just be his life’s calling. He broke up with Hyeon-A but they’re still friends. Perhaps they could be together in the future. I don’t think I can see them not being in each other’s life in one form or another. 

Mi-Jeong is liberating herself. She finds herself lovable. 

Mr. Gu embarks on his liberation. Perhaps he can open a sink business. Perhaps he could also operate the wood shop and hire Mi-Jeong. Yes? 

[Review & Rating]

This drama speaks to my introverted soul. It’s a cathartic release for those of us who feel broken and lonely – broken when our body is fine, lonely when we’re surrounded by people. This drama sees our pain from within, feelings I’ve never identified within myself, and releases it all.

Some of the best quotes in dramaland are here in this introspective journey following the three Yeom siblings. Mi-Jeong is poignant, Chang-Hee is incisive, and Gi-Jeong is spontaneous. Their perspectives are all enlightening.

I love the drama for shifting perspectives. For example, instead of looking for a 100 and trying to attain a 100, why not start life at 0, and every point you achieve is worth celebrating. Instead of expecting to be loved, why not consider worshipping; there’s no strings attached; all you do is give; you don’t need to measure that person's affection; it’s the purest form of love. Instead of being afraid of rejection, why not embrace it? The moment we were born we were already embarrassed and exposed.

I also love the juxtaposition of physical alienation to emotional isolation. Our siblings are not just physically alienated from the heart of the city. The physical distance reflects the hollow depths of their heart. It’s why Mi-Jeong says she will be the same wherever she lives. A bustling city cannot fill her barren heart. Our drama ends not when our siblings move into the city but when they fill their hearts with love for themselves as imperfect as they are.

Superficial me loves this drama even more because of the slow burn romance. A little smile, a small glance, and an ice cream cup was enough to capture my love. Mi-Jeong and Mr. Gu are a couple who won’t let the other hit rock bottom. They rely on each other for emotional support, but they always depended on themselves. That goes for all the siblings too.

Although Mr. Gu is alluring with his mysterious aura and bad boy vibes, my favourite character is Mi-Jeong. I love her gazes. Sometimes hollow, sometimes steely, sometimes soft. She may be morbid and depressing, but watching her fight through her days is motivating and comforting. In her toughest and darkest days, our girl powered through alone. She’s like a warrior, the quiet and resilient kind. Her passion for living is unlike others. In her own tempo, she is soul-searching.