cyn lynn : The Princess and the Werewolf

A werewolf kidnaps a princess.
Notable Actors/Actresses

Chen Zhe Yuan: Kui Mu Lang / Li Xiong

Wu Xuan Yi: Qi Pa

Director:

Cheng Feng

Chinese Title
郎君不如意

My Husband Is Not What I Want

Genres: Period, Romcom, Fantasy, Period Romcom

Network: Youku

Year: 2023
Episodes: 30

Recap Grade: B
First Impression: 3.2/5

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Mini Recaps

[Ep1] Princess Qi Pa is the daughter of (queer) parents: Qi Sheng and Zhang Peng Peng. They were the main leads in Go Princess, Go! It was a time travel drama with a twist: Zhang Peng Peng, our FL, was originally a man (a playboy) in the 21st century. Drama was campy, absurd, quirky and a riot. They abdicate their royal status to travel the world~~, and abandon their daughter~~. And gave the poor girl the name "Qi Pa" that sounds like "Weirdo". Then his father advises her to "follow your heart" (in English). I do love that there's a reason for these modern inventions/phrases: Zhang Peng Peng.

Qi Pa's uncle and aunt, Qi Ming and Lu Li, are now the Emperor and Empress of Daxia. Drama must think we're idiots because they plaster their name every time they're on screen. Also me hopes Auntie Lu (= Green) won't give Uncle a green hat, lol.

King Kui Mu Lang (of Huashou) abducts Princess Qi Pa for she has swallowed the Pearl he puked. ~~Romantic!~~ And he will marry her! Every time dawang is too weak to carry her, I wonder what his servant is for.

[Ep2] Qi Pa finds a secret passage ~~that might as well be overt if it was that easy~~. It leads her to Kui Mu Lang. She yelps at his beastly appearance.

Qi Pa: Pardon Dawang, which part of me have you fallen for exactly?
Kui Mu Lang: I have fallen ... for you.....(~~r pearl)~~. He trails off at a romantic point, lol.
Qi Pa: Then I'll change!
And then the way he describes her actually seems genuine?!

Our dawang is such a good king. Kui Mu Lang exerts his powers (when he's already so weak) to medicate water for his people after they've been poisoned from years ago. He also enforces the shield that prevents humans from seeing them. It's why the wolf clan has a short lifespan. It's also why he can't keep his day form and relies on his therapeutic spas.

Liu Jun (the useless aide) can't touch people without his gloves on. He thinks he isn't worthy of Hong Xiu (cat girl), who likes him.

A very evil looking Su Da Qiang (a blood scorpion) wants the pearl too and so he orders Hai Tang to spy on Qi Pa.

Hu Die catches Qi Pa from escaping the city gates. When Qi Pa asks her if she's a butterfly (= hu die), Hu Die is flustered, and hollers, "None of your farting business!" And then she actually farts, LOL.

Qi Pa runs into Kui Mu Lang's day form and doesn't recognize him even though it's the exact same face. He accidentally drops her ID (which is the shape of a durian). She misunderstands that he's his masked guard Zi Mei and that he's been *scissored* down there, lol. He corrects her that he's fine and to empathize that he's fine, he says his name is Li Xiong. Xiong 雄 means staminate/mighty. Gee. What could he be implying!

[Ep3] Kiu Mu Lang isn't just a good king, he's a great man too! The wolf clan is monogamous. If he marries Qi Pa, she will be his one and only wife. He really did fall in love at first sight. Or second sight. She is deserving to be his queen. No matter what trouble she causes, he is responsible because he kidnapped her here. So understanding!! Except he's her adductor........xD.

[Ep4] The plan to inebriate Kiu Mu Lang fails because Qi Pa inebriates herself.

Qi Pa reflexively stabs Kui Mu Lang because of misplaced-self-defence. It's a small injury, but it happens to aggravate his previous injury. He orders her to leave so that he can recover, but then she's attacked by an assassin (Hai Tang). He hears her screaming, and protects her, which further weakens him on this particular night with the full moon. My men always hurt during the full moon.

The next day, Qi Pa is accused of murder. She's aware that Kui Mu Lang is on her side, but the more he protects her, the more his people are uproarious, and so she volunteers to be imprisoned.

[Ep6] Kui Mu Lang had a little brother whom his parents favoured. Meanwhile the parents were always strict on him (ML). He didn't dare to disobey or even say no. When his parents passed away, they left him the country, but it was the country that separated him and his brother. (The little brother wanted power.). On the other hand, Qi Pa was loved by her parents. There was no favouritism (it's just they loved each other more). Kui Mu Lang now understands why she's like a little sun.

Kui Mu Lang researches ways to make Qi Pa love her. And he has found the solution: marriage first, love second! When Qi Pa wakes up to this news, she's so shocked, she tries sleeping again. It must be because she woke up wrong. Hahahaha.

No matter how qipa (weird) our Qi Pa is, our dawang loves his weirdo.

[Ep7] To win Qi Pa's heart, Kui Mu Lang will satisfy her every desire even if it's a stinky durian or a Naked David (Michelangelo's David).

It is not a silly romcom if we don't get an accidental kiss and here it is! Durian flavoured! David is our witness.

Kui Mu Lang's brother, Jing Mu Han (an elk? Shouldn't he be a wolf?), is released from prison because he's "sick".

And what's up with Hu Die's internal anal sphincter?

[Ep8] The plan (#32142) to make Kui Mu Lang give up on marrying Qi Pa:

"Rec"? xD

The plan works real well when you're dancing with the same guy you don't want to marry. Chen Zhe Yuan's dancing tho xD.

[Ep9] The highlight of this episode: Ma Ying Hong.

"Your Yeye (grandfather) – standing he will not change his first name, sitting, he will not change his last name. My last name is Ma and my first name is Hero. I am Daxia's General. How about that!"

"Allow me to repay the country with my body" (Again, lol. He doesn't die, again.)

[Ep10] Kui Mu Lang proposes like Qi Pa wanted. Our king is on his knees!

And she actually accepts the proposal! I'm shocked. Hu Die finds out and angry-farts.

However, it was all Qi Pa's plan to escape! I feel so bad for our dawang, but it is his fault for kidnapping her.

But I think I just wasted my feelings because The next day, Kui Mu Lang is once again amused with Qi Pa's cheeriness. He also plans to subvert her plan, except he's subverted by Hai Tang and kidnaps our kidnappee, Qi Pa!

[Ep11] With our wolf's sensitive ears, Kiu Mu Lang saves Qi Pa from Hai Tang. Qi Pa also protects Kui Mu Lang from a sword. She cares about him! Our wolf is touched. But now someone has to be responsible for ~~rescuing~~ kidnapping the kidnapped: Ma Ying Xiong.

Wait a minute! Behold, the litmus test of pregnancy:*Pukes*. Qi Pa has a royal fetus from nowhere (LOL) and Kui Mu Lang who has no part in it cooperates with the lie. It's to save Ma Ying Xiong from capital punishment. Because if you didn't know, a pregnant lady cannot see blood.

Qi Pa also agrees to the marriage with three conditions: 1) release Ma Ying Xiong, 2) no consummation, and 3) effective for three months. In other words, if she doesn't fall in love with him, she will be free. Kui Mu Lang agrees!

Liu Jun is worried for his king if Qi Pa does leave in three months. Does he not care about his life? His country? Yes. But dawang ~~is love-brained~~ cannot bear it that Qi Pa will suffer even if it's just a little. He's also fully aware the person who makes her suffer is him. This really is twisted, lol.

[Ep12] The physician wants to take Qi Pa's pulse. Behind the curtain, she tugs the string with her finger in a seductive pace (if that’s a thing). It frightens the poor doctor. Qi Pa lies that her fetus is a purple "star" granted by the heavens. Of course the pulse is out of this world!

She may have gotten over that baby bump, but she can't u-turn from the marriage.

Qi Pa finds out Li Xiong isn't her masked guard Zi Mei. She's upset at the betrayal. Kui Mu Lang tries to cheer her up in his Li Xiong guise. Wolf Sir, this is why you're not getting the girl. If you're going to kidnap her, then be manipulative to the end. This is the time for Kui Mu Lang to show up. Not Li Xiong! She rejects his meaty apology anyway.

There’s a budding sismance between Qi Pa and Hu Die as they both believe that the humble maid is innocent.

[Ep13] The big day is here!

Hu Die finally notices Bai Ke! Hong Xiu walks into Liu Jun's arms – accidentally. It's the day men are magnets.

Happening on the side is only the marriage between our main couple. Also, Jing Mu Han is banned from attending or even leaving his quarters. It's because he saw Kui Mu Lang's beastly form, and after a serious meeting between the three white-heads (who share one brain cell), they agreed to the detainment. I don't even know why we needed the white-heads! Lol.

Finally the marriage is happening. Never has there been a more depressed bride.

Arrêtez!

Jing Mu Han interrupts by pretending to be Ma Ying Xiong's hostage. Hero! You just got out of prison! Jing Mu Han unhoods the groom, but the groom is actually Liu Jun. Kui Mu Lang subverted the trap once again and now Jing Mu Han is caught red-handed.

Wedding continué!

[Ep14] Kui Mu Lang apologizes to Qi Pa and promises he'll make up the aisle walk for their wedding. Does Qi Pa care? I can't tell. I don't know if I was imagining it that she looked disappointed when her groom wasn't him. She understands it was necessary to defend against Jing Mu Han (born from the same mother, hence one is a wolf and the other is an elk).

For the wedding night, Qi Pa tries her utmost best to stay away, but still she drifts to sleep. Kui Mu Lang EVER SO GENTLY puts her to bed. For the whole night he stays up and stays a safe distance to reassure her. Qi Pa comfortably falls asleep. Aw.

Kui Mu Lang is a great husband too, standing by the wife in front of her "in-laws" (i.e. Nanny Xiong).

Jing Mu Han lies through his teeth that he adores his brother. The three white-heads believe him?! After all those coups?! Jing Mu Han also sends wedding blessings. It's a big fat 呵 (he; a laughing sound). That one word irks Qi Pa.

Qi Pa: 呵人者人恆呵之 ! (Those who 呵 will always be 呵'd by others!). LOL. Guys, I can't capture how cultured this joke is.

[Ep15] Ma Ying Xiong is hellbent on winning supernatural-beach-volleyball for his Chun'er's (maid) heart. Our beast team is humiliated. Kui Mu Lang (as Li Xiong) steps up, followed by Jing Mu Han (Han Han!). They both rip their clothes (I love that those sashes were only there for that purpose. To be ripped) and proceed to annihilate Ma Ying Xiong on the court. They would have defeated Ma Ying Xiong had they not volunteered too late. I wasn't expecting to cheer so much for this broship! They were perfectly corny for me xD. But it looks like Han Han is onto Li Xiong being his brother because of a familiar move and not because of the face that looks exactly the same!

Ma Ying Xiong's cheesy lines continue. And then there's the dramatic walk-and-turn-around. When does he die and repay the country? LOL.

Jing Mu Han saves Hai Tang from evil old guy's team. He wants to use her ...for stuff. Jing Mu Han, no more "Han Han" for you! (Btw, they used "Silly" Han, not his actual name whenever they say "Han Han")

Qi Pa wants to "miscarry" but the palace is so heavily guarded, she can't even slip on a banana peel. With much difficulty, she finally finds a chance to swing off a swing, but Kui Mu Lang catches her. He's like "What do you want to do to my child?" LOL. Since she came up with the child, she's got to be responsible for it.

[Ep16] Qi Pa does not want to be responsible for this satellite child. She stimulates Kui Mu Lang with a perfume that's supposed to trigger his beastly nature. However, it triggers his puppy instincts instead, and he's having an orgasm just from smelling her.

Really should not be doing this to Chen Zhe Yuan xD.....

Kui Mu Lang realizes Qi Pa had no intentions of giving him a genuine chance. But still he tries to win her heart. He sets up a day market, and takes her on a night date.....except the ones who are having a romantic time are these two (Hong Xiu and Liu Jun):

Despite every disheartening rejection from Qi Pa, "giving up" isn't in Kui Mu Lang's dictionary. He tries again during the day as Li Xiong, and it seems Qi Pa is finally giving in to Li Xiong. The two then sneak out of the palace, but ~~Han Han~~ Jing Mu Han's eunuch overhears.

During the "escape", Li Xiong and Qi Pa are ambushed. He's poisoned, and she sucks out the poison just in time. The pearl inside Qi Pa glows! Yeah, she's falling for Li Xiong....

[Ep17] Two pieces of good news: 1) Li Xiong's day appearance lasts until the night, and 2) Qi Pa "miscarries". Yippee!

The bad news: Qi Pa realizes she likes Li Xiong too. Great. Romance based on lies.

In other news, there's a lot of running. In circles! I tell ya, this drama keeps running from its problem! Qi Pa and Li Xiong prance the palace for a dramatic reunion all for a kiss. She confesses and they're officially dating. When they're married. So is this an affair or not.

[Ep18] Kui Mu Lang is a lying fool, and Qi Pa is a truthful idiot. She actually tells him of her "affair" with Li Xiong. What can Kui Mu Lang do? Disapprove?

Then Kui Mu Lang celebrates Qi Pa's birthday. "Happy birthday, my cheating wife!" Liu Jun has the best present: a statue of Kui Mu Lang. Liu Jun hopes that she'll distance from Dawei (David) and be close to Dawang instead. Hu Die's "thirty million" isn't too bad either. Kui Mu Lang's present, however, makes her the guiltiest. He gave her a necklace (from his mother). There's only one in this whole world, and it's for his one and only love.

The running continues when Li Xiong also celebrates Qi Pa's birthday.

However, Kui Mu Lang's beastly form returns at night.

Other couples: 1) Bai Ke confesses to Hu Die, and 2) Jing Mu Han and Hai Tang are a thing. ?! How is each pair dumber than the former. How is this beast land even functioning?!

Back to our main couple. Qi Pa advocates for a Happy Talent Class. Ji (talent) sounds like prostitute/concubine, hence the sparkly annotation on the screen, telling us it's not Happy Prostitute/Concubine Time. But the meaning isn't that off, lol. Basically it's an excuse to have girls seduce Kui Mu Lang so that he fills up his harem. Kui Mu Lang only needs her, though.

[Ep19] When is this filler over!

Qi Pa is serious about her Happy ~~Concubine~~ Talent Class. At least she has some standards and isn't just shoving random girls to Kui Mu Lang.

Hong Xiu was sweet, though! She went all out during the auction for a pair of tattered gloves because it belongs to Liu Jun. But actually she's a rich heiress anyway. Her family owns a gold mine. She's a maid because she's love-brained........

[Ep20] Oh plot, where art thou!

Evil pops has a daughter called Su He. She's got a case of amnesia.

[Ep21] Evil pops controlled Jing Mu Han to rebel. Even if JMH is not brainwashed....he's still trying to rebel. Controlling him....isn't that redundant? Now evil pops wants to control his amnesiac daughter, who betrayed him before, to seduce Kui Mu Lang (again?). But first, he needs to recover her memories so that she can remember why she betrayed her father in the first place.....???

This whole drama is someone’s brain fart.

And I'm recapping this brain fart.

Qi Pa might just realize Kui Mu Lang is Li Xiong or at least finds him familiar after dancing with him. It bothers her a smidgen that he's accepting Hai Tang.

[Ep22] ~~Han Han~~ Jin Mu Han kidnaps Qi Pa with a fake Li Xiong (= Hai Tang). The real Li Xiong is lured out. It's two against one (Li Xiong) because Qi Pa is useless, but she protects Li Xiong from a dart and falls unconscious. Furious, Li Xiong transforms into Kui Mu Lang right in front of his brother (masked).

Each brother escapes with their injured ladies. Qi Pa is fine though, just blind.

[Ep23] Holy, I see romance! Turns out we needed to blind our FL.

Kui Mu Lang is so gentle with Qi Pa. He leads her with a red string because he knows she's afraid of touching him. When she panics, he cautiously lets her touch his hair, fearing that his hand would be repulsive. When she's asleep, he makes a bracelet for her with bells so that he knows whenever she needs help. Then he spends the rest of the night making the room accessible. It's sweet. But dumb. He has to walk into everything to confirm it bumps him. Furniture was just innocently standing there. In the morning, he styles her hair too (like a pretty rooster). Then at night, he takes her stargazing. When she's blind. Okay bro.

[Ep24] Romance is gone the minute she regains her sight... Qi Pa never wants to see Kui Mu Lang again after she discovers that he lied about his identity. She also misunderstands that he only loved her because of the pearl. She packs her back to leave, but then overhears that Kui Mu Lang would die without the pearl. +1pt for Kui Mu Lang not tying her down with his livelihood, I guess. She confirms with Liu Jun, who tells her everything (like we should have done 10 eps ago! Was it that hard to talk?). She plans to return Kui Mu Lang's pearl, which means kissing him. However, Kui Mu Lang rejects. He doesn't want a kiss of sympathy. Omg. Just kiss and get it over with.

Hong Xiu, what a sis! She's planning to leave with Qi Pa, and writes a goodbye letter for Liu Jun telling him she will love him from afar..... ?!

[Ep25] Kui Mu Lang coughs up blood from his heartbreak. It is not true angst if there is no blood spitting. Qi Pa is gone, gone back home. But how come everything she loved no longer makes her happy? Not even durian for breakfast is working. That is an intense breakfast.

[Ep26] Qi Pa can't sleep and looks for the KuiMuLang star. The Star isn't found, but the Person is here! And he heard her. He's here in Daxia because he misses her too. He sighs. Qi Pa perks up and asks who's there. Our wolf sighs that loud? I can't imagine him snoring. No one answers.

Qi Pa forces Kui Mu Lang to appear by putting herself in danger. When he's ready to excuse himself, Qi Pa orders him to stay to tell him she wants to go back to Beast Land. My heart swelled just a bit that my Kui Mu Lang is FINALLY getting some love! She says it's not for him. No way! It's for everyone else but him. ~~The idiot~~ He believes it. Then he's amused that she already has her bags packed. Ma Ying Xiong is joining for his Chun'er. He promises that if he exposes the secret of the portal, he really will die for the country.

Although Qi Pa is back, Kui Mu Lang will not force Qi Pa into accepting him. He will follow her wishes. Is it too late to drop this?

[Ep27] Kui Mu Lang tells his life story to Qi Pa who requested it, but girl falls asleep on him. Rude much. Then she has the audacity to blame him for telling her a bedtime story. To be fair, she wanted some romance from him. Kui Mu Lang wants romance too (i.e. he doesn't just want the pearl, he also wants true love). And if he's not getting true love, the whole beast land can just go die without the pearl. But of course they don't do anything about it and now we have a love rival in Su He.

[Ep28] Everyone thinks Qi Pa is the third person in the relationship (especially snobby Hu Die who really stinks now with her flipflopping attitude). Qi Pa fixes that by fixing the narrative. Fix the show's script too please?

Kui Mu Lang brings chicken over to Qi Pa. And finally, there's no more chickening out, we are chickening in! They confess their feelings.

Romance! Here we come!

No. Zombies. Here they come.

┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

Scorpion Pop has brainwashed all of beast land. Then Su He consumes a parasite that will eat her up, but her father promises it will give her power. Yo Scorpion Pops, if it's so great, why aren't you consuming it. Then with the new powers, she strips the pearl from Qi Pa's flesh. Kui Mu Lang and (unconscious) Qi Pa take refuge. He sucks her poison with his fangs to save her. And my gosh, they filmed his lips clamping on her neck in the most unflattering way. I'm sorry Chen Zhe Yuan. I still love you. But that was disgusting.

[Ep29] Kui Mu Lang and Qi Pa marry each other with his KuiMuLang star as their witness. He assures her that he has a plan.

But they're captured by Su He.

And Ma Ying Xiong actually killed himself?!

Then Qi Pa betrays Kui Mu Lang. She tells Su He that she can kill him in order to live.

~~Then Jing Mu Han walks funny~~.

Then Jing Mu Han realizes their lake is dry.

[Ep30] Qi Pa is to behead Kui Mu Lang. However, she slits their hands to integrate their blood, and gives him the Kiss of Love. Badum! Powers restored. His surge of energy sends everyone plopping to the ground. Literally. Later Qi Pa asks how the the pearl returned to his body. He's like Iunno. Take my applause, Show.

Jing Mu Han is forgiven. He also realizes that he was the favourite child all along. He sympathizes with his brother now.

Everyone is happy except we're mourning for Ma Ying Xiong. Show turned a funny joke into a tragedy.....The rest of the couples are together. Hong Xiu and Liu Jun can kiss! It's because she put on a mask. How will you make babies though.

Kui Mu Lang says those three words: "I love you la!" They consummate there love.

Jing Mu Han is stuck in the palace working because every other couple is on a honeymoon. When they're back, he wants a honey-year with Hai Tang. Han Han, you deserve more punishment than this. Stop whining.

Our couple follow their hearts in Europe.

The friggin' end.

Remarks

[First Impression (Ep1-4)] Fun! Cute! I miss these low budget ones. And what a perfectly tempered, and gracious ML we have! He just abducted our FL, that's all.

And let's not question why FL cannot recognize ML's ~~(cheap-)~~wolf-face from human-face when it's the same face.

[Actors/Actresses] It's definitely Chen Zhe Yuan's popularity from Hidden Love that catalyzed this drama's premiere (which completed filming in Sept 2021). However, in 2021 he's relatively unknown and so it's Wu Xuan Yi who gets top billing.

I don't like the voice they chose for Chen Zhe Yuan. It's so not him, especially when he's in his day form. But I do love seeing two sides of our dawang. Technically just one side if our FL is willing to give our beast a chance.

This belongs in the same universe as Go Princess, Go!. Hence there are cameos from Sheng Yi Lun (FL's father), Jiang Qi Lin (uncle) and Hai Ling (aunt). I'm particularly relieved that Sheng Yi Lun is just a cameo! It's crazy how bad he is/was.

Lastly, I'm astonished that this author (Xian Cheng) wrote GPG! and The Confident. So different!

[Behind the Scenes]

[OST] My favourite from the OST from this show: